Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change? page 41

[namelesswonder]

Reading reading reading. Hungry feeling went away because I couldn't stand the thought of preparing my sausages (re-heating the 2 I didn't eat yesterday) while other people are in the kitchen. A stupid anxiety thing. It's like how I used to eat my muffins by picking at them instead of just biting into them because I felt like it would look too strange. Silliness.

I think I will stop L-Tyrosine for 1 week just in case I do need to cycle it. I will stop the 5-HTP during week of Thanksgiving, just in case, for the same reason. Wondering if I'm taking too high a dose of 5-HTP. According to the books I've read, I'm taking the dose right. Initially I took 50mg at dinner, 50mg at bedtime. I did not feel like it helped enough to get me to sleep so I increased it to 100mg at dinner, 100mg at bedtime. I sleep like a rock now and can fall asleep inside of 20min. Other things I've read say to take it during the morning, but the one time I took it in the afternoon, I nearly fell asleep at the wheel so I don't think I ever want to try that. I wonder if this higher dose would cause this anxiety, but I still feel like it's more likely withdrawal from Lexapro that's causing it.

I'm very tired today and feel like coffee with cream (and sweetener) would be absolutely delicious right about now. I'm not a coffee drinker, I think I'm just looking for something hot and creamy (ew).

[namelesswonder]

4 months primal right about now. Feels good. No more chronic heartburn or constipation, at least.

Yesterday was slow and groggy. I feel less crappy today but I can feel the anxiety hanging out. "Hey. 'Sup. You need me? Nah, it's cool, I'll just chill back here and bug the piss out of you all day. Or more specifically, you will get aggravated about anything and everything and be unable to speak or think clearly. Sounds fun, I know! No, it's okay, go back to whatever you were doing...if you can remember what it was!"

I got paid early so I'm going to place an order with VitaminShoppe.com for GABA and L-Theanine. Today was my first day of rest from L-Tyrosine, but my protein powder has some in it, so I guess I need to stop taking that too if I want a true break. I think I will go for a different brand next time without L-Tyrosine at least, or maybe just less amino acids so I can test a little more objectively. Yes, I was hungry this morning. I made omelettes last night (4 medium eggs each, cheese & mushrooms, cooked in bacon grease YES THEY WERE DELICIOUS AND I WANT ONE RIGHT MEOW) so I wasn't feeling up for eggs this AM, though I definitely could have eaten more than just the meager shake I made. I got hungry for lunch but I don't have anything and it's raining and my scooter is low on gas sooooo. I'm keeping busy without.

I have maybe 1-2 weeks worth of Lexapro left. I don't want to refill because I'll have to wait for my doctor to approve and it seems like a waste of $, but I'm afraid to not refill without figuring out a way to manage my anxiety first.

Back is close to 100%, but sudden movements and hitting bumps on the scooter still hurt.

[ottercat]

I just got some tyrosine from purebulk.com. They used to just sell bulk supplements, but some of them are in capsules now. It's a good place to compare prices because you can get a decent deal.

[David465]

Do you have to "cool" the eggs after? Or what is the best way to do so? The shells just seemed to be pulling off too thick of a layer after I rolled them to break them up.

[namelesswonder]

Oh interesting site... I'd need to get some capsules but that's easy.

I didn't eat enough dinner and want to eat something... More fat, protein, or carbs? Hrm.

[namelesswonder]

Not to get into too much detail, but I just had the most MONSTROUS poop of my life. I'm not sure how one small sweet potato and a small bowl of broccoli created that. And the chicken breast. But still! Monstrous!

Moving on...

My probiotic drinks are finished. I'm on the fence about getting any capsule-form probiotics to try those out. Just seems like a waste of money if they don't work out. I'm not sure how often I should be drinking those if they are going to help, but it might be a better idea to just get those drinks for now to see how they help. Boyfriend got some groceries the other day and I think I will make a list for him to pick up some more over the weekend. I need more lunchy things since my appetite is back, or things to eat for breakfast. Today I had 3 eggs over easy. They cooked PERFECTLY on the cast iron skillet and the kitchen smelled beautiful (pros to always using bacon grease on it) after. Muoy tasty. I ate a banana because I felt like it and that felt good for breakfast (bacon would've been nice to scoop up the yolk though). I think I am going to get hungry for lunch, but the traffic is terrible around here right now due to road construction (it's never finished/good around here) so I wouldn't be able to get back from Shaws very quickly.

Dinner will be a mix of onions, peppers & chopped pork chop. We are definitely making burgers this weekend, but we need more cheese & I'd like to get some lettuce for some easy greens/"buns".

No-poo: Just rinsed today. Hair is sparkly-shiny, but pretty grimy. This is slow going. I am definitely going to do a BS/ACV wash tomorrow.

Brain: I feel loads better today. Anxiety is pretty minimal so far, but I imagine it will increase by the end of the day. I'm not feeling very focused and my mental clarity is low, as well as my already shoddy short-term memory, but at least the anxiety is not destroying me. Last night I was so anxious about just getting some gas for my scooter that I stopped the guy at $1.00 instead of 1gal! My brain just kept telling me to get the hell out of there and get home. Very frustrating.

Sleep: I took 200mg of 5-HTP at bedtime last night. I could not shut my brain down to sleep for a while, but I did sleep well eventually and getting up was not tooooooo difficult. But still difficult. I think I might try to stick to that routine of 200mg right at bedtime for a few nights to see how that helps with my mornings. I seem to wake myself up at the same time every morning (7 or 7:30), but I'm not actually capable of getting out of bed for at least 1/2 hr if not another hr. And I can NEVER get up on the first alarm!

Physical: Back feels great. A little iffy on the really bad bumps while riding my scooter, but I think I just need to stretch it a bit. I am going to stretch lightly and do some KB swings tonight. My stomach looks great right now. I got bloated from the broc last night (sadness), but this morning my stomach is flatter than it has been in a while. Hooray!

[fpsjosh01]

Physical: Back feels great. A little iffy on the really bad bumps while riding my scooter, but I think I just need to stretch it a bit. I am going to stretch lightly and do some KB swings tonight. My stomach looks great right now. I got bloated from the broc last night (sadness), but this morning my stomach is flatter than it has been in a while. Hooray!

Yay.

My probiotic drinks are finished. I'm on the fence about getting any capsule-form probiotics to try those out. Just seems like a waste of money if they don't work out.

My coconut yogurts were too much sugar and I actually gained weight. I determined that my sugar intake was probably well over 150g a day with cheats. I gained a few pounds back, but now I'm back down again at the lowest weight I've been in a while.

Fasting has helped my mental clarity JUST as much as the probiotics have. It's very weird. Keep testing and see what your body likes and dislikes. I might go get some more kombucha today and see what happens.

Brain: I feel loads better today. Anxiety is pretty minimal so far, but I imagine it will increase by the end of the day. I'm not feeling very focused and my mental clarity is low, as well as my already shoddy short-term memory, but at least the anxiety is not destroying me.

That is the best thing I've read all day. You still inspire me ^_^. Keep fighting the good fight, and get some grassfed butter to reward yourself .

[namelesswonder]

I need to get back to a regular 3 meals of proper food, now that I'm not having issues with appetite, before I do extended fasts again. Agreed that they work wonders for mental clarity. I'm fasting through lunches right now just because it's convenient, but I can tell my body doesn't like it (breakfast was too small). I have to heat up a sweet potato pretty quickly when I get home or I start to get really jittery.

I'll check out the sugar content in that kefir drink. It might've been a bit high, and it did contribute towards a couple of pimples this week, I think, but definitely not over maybe 30g a day, if not 20g. Not too bad, but my body seems to prefer no sugar at all. I'm glad you figured out what the issue was for you! 150g seems like a lot. I wonder how much I ate per day when I was eating junkfood and on the SAD.

Mmm grassfed butter. I have some "organic" salted stuff from the grocery store right now, but I might visit Whole Foods this weekend to treat myself to a few things (real broth, hunt down some real butter, maybe a nice cut of meat). Then no more treats until next month! I'm still craving coffee with cream and really want some chocolate covered almonds, but I can't trust myself to not eat them all, so NONE FOR ME.

Forgot to add that I did 40 wall push-ups last night which felt pretty good and helped me physically relax, but I think I need to start practicing my own form of meditation to get my brain in order at bedtime. Part of the problem is with the anxiety, I have a hard time falling asleep when I know that my boyfriend is in the other room and I don't know when he's coming to bed. We don't even need to be touching, but having him present in the bed really helps me sleep. If he's out of the apartment, I fall asleep fine. Our doors don't block much sound unfortunately, so I could hear him talking to a friend online while I was trying to sleep, which definitely didn't help. I resorted to putting our stuffed shark toy over my head. When I get my anxiety reigned in, I don't think this will be an issue since it wasn't a couple weeks ago.

That is the best thing I've read all day. You still inspire me ^_^. Keep fighting the good fight, and get some grassfed butter to reward yourself .

Thanks dude. It's nice to be inspiring! =P I think the thing that made this week easier (with the somewhat debilitating anxiety that popped up) was being much more aware than ever before about how everything (food, supplements, Lexapro, external stressors) affects me. I've been doing so much THINKING (and some CLEAR thinking which has been a blessing) since going primal and it's really wonderful to be able to work things out for myself. On top of that, I can really KNOW that things will be okay, because I've been there.

[me2]

Oh sweetie I feel such empathy for you. I spent yrs being depressed. Maybe you could look into the GAPS diet too? It really isn't that different than PB. Also the theanine and phosphatidylserine is REALLY worth it for a calm mind. You can feel it immediately. Buying those is cheaper than Primal Calm, but by my estimation if you can afford Primal Calm it will be even better as it has 6 proprietary ingredients.

I wonder if you even need a test for adrenal fatigue or can you just figure it out from your symptoms. Or you could always just buy a test online. I feel like doctors just get in the way of what you want, but I have always trusted alternative medicine more.

[fpsjosh01]

Oh sweetie I feel such empathy for you. I spent yrs being depressed. Maybe you could look into the GAPS diet too? It really isn't that different than PB. Also the theanine and phosphatidylserine is REALLY worth it for a calm mind. You can feel it immediately. Buying those is cheaper than Primal Calm, but by my estimation if you can afford Primal Calm it will be even better as it has 6 proprietary ingredients.

I wonder if you even need a test for adrenal fatigue or can you just figure it out from your symptoms. Or you could always just buy a test online. I feel like doctors just get in the way of what you want, but I have always trusted alternative medicine more.

+1 for gaps. IF you're trying to lose weight, just watch your coconut yogurt intake and try the probiotic pills instead. You don't need to over do it, you will get results almost the day after you do it.