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Thread: Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change? page 388

  1. #3871
    Cryptocode's Avatar
    Cryptocode is offline Senior Member
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    We each have the Safety licenses. Dick has a couple pistols and a rifle. I keep intending to get a smaller revolver but so far haven't. I did find a gun range with a great teacher. He's a retired man who used to be on the U.S. Olympic shooting team and now just teaches a few hours a week as he feels motivated. He sure knows a lot about ammunition and guns though.

    I'm sorry about the difficult session wtih your therapist. What did he say that set you off?

  2. #3872
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    namelesswonder is online now Senior Member
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    Guns: Will look into whatever NRA has available. This is probably a couple years off and we may not even be in MA by the time we get around to this, but still looking into it.

    Cigarette stink: Hulky's bro was very apologetic about what happened (got so drunk that he forgot not to smoke in our apartment), smell is mostly gone after leaving the windows open yesterday. Hulky's dad shut them when he came by to feed the cat and we are airing out to get rid of the stale smell today. Being apologetic about it and cleaning up after he thought we'd already left for Maine (but I was actually trying to rouse Hulky for birthday donuts), we felt a lot better about it. If he'd just apologized and left, I would have been much less happy. The worst part was just that I got about 2 hrs of sleep that night from anxiety and who-knows-why so I was alone with my thoughts for a while, just getting madder and madder. Had to wait for Hulky to sober up enough to talk to and Chip to wake up to ream out (or, what actually happened, which was me awkwardly accepting his apology without saying it was OK hah).

    Therapy: There's actually one topic that I haven't talked about here that I don't want to. I wasn't in a great place emotionally to start with, still recovering from PMS, so I had a hard time gathering myself at the end of the session. Hulky calmed me down enough so I could go back to work and the rest of the day was OK until the not-sleeping and the smoke incident.

    Weekend was good. Hulky's very secretive about his birthday so only my family and his family knows about it (well, and now you guys). Dinner out up in Maine was nice and Baba was really happy to see us all (since we didn't tell her we were coming!).
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  3. #3873
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    namelesswonder is online now Senior Member
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    In other news...

    Possibly allowing dietary freedom today. Had 1/2 a donut while driving and Hulky's mom is making bacon mac & cheese for his b.day. I just had some leftover steak fries and will nuke a sweet potato soon, but will probably eat mac & cheese too. It's a Sunday and I did 6 hrs of driving this weekend. I don't want to cook! I did have eggs and sausage for breakfast. The eggs were from local free-range chickens .

    Wedding stuff: After some chatting and research, we've decided to elope...but we're doing it at our engagement party! Working on getting Chip all official now. We might let a few people in on it to make sure they come, but we're not even telling my parents (probably will tell my sister. If Baba can't make it down, we'll make a special trip up to tell her after and make sure that somebody records the ceremony. Hulky and I are going to try to save up for a night at a hotel in Boston, including a honeymoon package if there's a reasonably priced one (found a good one with sparking wine, strawberries, breakfast, and late checkout, but we'll need at least $400 for it), for after the party. The trickiest thing right now is going to be finding a wedding band for me. I think I will go talk to the jeweler up the street about what kind of band might stack okay with my engagement ring, or what to look for to get a ring guard (which the engagement ring would sort of be mounted to). If it doesn't work out, I'll just get a nice band within budget and wear my engagement ring on my other hand!

    Our guise is that we're going to push the wedding out to 2015 so we have more time to save & pitch in so we're not totally broke after we make our contributions on top of my parents'. We are both really excited about doing everything sooner and secretively. We'll need to figure out our registry soon, though. I think we're going to do a honeymoon registry so people can pitch in for our honeymoon (probably do that next year).
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  4. #3874
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    Sounds like very good plans. Hope all works out.

  5. #3875
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    Sleep: I was a bit tired upon waking this morning, but didn't have too hard of a time waking up. I don't remember waking up last night. I slept kind of rough in Maine, but at least I got sleep after being awake most of Friday night! The new beds up there are pretty comfy. Had a chat with my parents about not sleeping well. My dad said he imagines the highest note he can sing and just holds the sound of it in his head. I tried that but found my vocal chords constricting as though I was trying to sing it, so I listened to my tinnitus instead. Worked pretty well . My parents said that I had a hard time falling asleep even as a baby.

    Food: I did have mac & cheese last night and it was delicious. I also had chocolate cake and it too was delicious! Very moist and fluffy. I was hungry again right before bed, but just went to sleep. I felt like it was pretty easy for me to just have a serving of each and not load up my plate for more (though I did want to). Appetite was screwy this morning and I skipped breakfast. I am hoping I have enough for lunch so I'm not ravenous at the end of the day. My grandmother made a potato salad with sauerkraut and I have a little of the leftovers. It's really tasty and I definitely want to make it for myself (I have a lot of sauerkraut still, so I am going to hunt for recipes, but I think my mom might've gotten it from her).

    -Need more fruit for lunches
    -Need russet potatoes for oven fries
    -Want to make gluten-free chocolate chip cookies this week (tried on Friday...forgot about them & they burned)

    Gut (TMI): I had daily BM's this weekend, but I think they were caused by the poor food choices, so not ideal. I have a lot of gas today. I only took the colostrum this morning (no Vitamin C or L-Glutamine), just to see what would happen. So far, pressure, but no action.

    Supplements: Forgot to bring anything up to Maine except 5-HTP and Allegra (seems to work well to prevent sneezing from allergies, still reliant on neti pot for the post nasal drip), so I didn't take the Vitex. As a result, I also forgot to take it this morning. PMS was not as bad this month, so my body seems more receptive to it now, but I wonder how long I'll need to take it for the effects to remain. I think I'm going to have to sort out my gut before my hormones will follow suit.

    Body: The weather is looking up for this week so I should be able to get a few biking sessions in. I discovered this morning that my pants are tighter. Either, somehow, all of my clothes shrunk recently or my butt and thighs are getting bigger. I'm okay with that happening as long as it ultimately is from muscle growth. Right now, I doubt that's the cause, as I have barely started biking! This may be from the increased starch consumption. I am also still struggling with some acne. Either my gut is adjusting, this is not good for my gut, or it's just from being a bit lax with sugar for the past couple of weeks. I feel like I haven't been any more lax than usual, but maybe it's harder for my gut when dealing with the starch too? Who knows.

    This week is about staying strict so I can say for certain what is and isn't working at my doctor's appointment in one week.

    Other: You guys, I got summoned for federal jury duty! Haha, I just finished state a little over a month ago! I am sending my questionnaire in with a copy of my certificate. If I hadn't served for as long as I did (11 days), I still would have to serve if called (just on-call for a few weeks in June) because federal takes precedence over state. My work would not have compensated it though. Anyway, should be okay and I will not have to go.

    I just emailed my mom about dress shopping. Hoping I can find a reasonably priced dress for the engagement party that she will cover. I want to wear a bathing suit underneath it so I can whip it off and jump in the pool after our ceremony .
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  6. #3876
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    jenn26point2 is offline Senior Member
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    it's so cool that you're going to spring your wedding on people. I thought eloping meant you ran off to get married...
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  7. #3877
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    namelesswonder is online now Senior Member
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    I guess it can be whatever you want it to be. I think "surprise" is the major element though, and we are definitely going to surprise people!
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  8. #3878
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    For anyone who is up on their news later today: there were two explosions at the finish line of the Boston Marathon about an hour ago. As far as I know, nobody I know was there. No reports of casualties, but numerous serious injuries. Cause of the blasts is yet to be determined. Someone at work started spreading the news to other people not long after I started reading about it and said it was a bomb. I nearly snapped their head off. No need to spread a panic without any conclusive reporting to that effect.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  9. #3879
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    NZ primal Gwamma is offline Senior Member
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    that sounds awful Nameless. I so hope that its not too bad.
    .....anyhoo just popping in to say that wee picky on t'other thread is AMAZING - your hair looks brilliant. I so wish I had the confidence to do something different with mine - but alas.... Gwamma is stuck in the world of conservatism !!!!!!!
    "never let the truth get in the way of a good story "

    ...small steps....

  10. #3880
    tomi's Avatar
    tomi is online now Senior Member
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    I think you're plans to surprise everyone with the ceremony is wonderful! What a great way to have a fun and exciting party/wedding!
    Read post #2626
    my motivation

    I'm doing this because I'm worth it - because I'm worthy - because I love myself.

    Goals: Healthy mind, healthy body, happy soul.

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