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Thread: Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change? page 378

  1. #3771
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    namelesswonder is offline Senior Member
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    Supplements: Ran out of 5-HTP and got to Vitamin Shoppe 8 minutes after they closed! I have to go out again tonight. I only took 50mg last night. I did not feel super tired when I got into bed, but fell asleep quickly. I slept well, but feel groggy today. I am on day 5 of my antibiotic and do not appear to be having any adverse affects, even digestive, which seems strange to me. I forgot to take my pill this morning so I'll take it immediately after work tonight.

    Gut (TMI): I had two BMs yesterday, both in the evening. My stomach hurt after the second one. I had another this morning and felt pain and sickness after again. I wonder why that happens. In "Fiber Menace", the other says that the urge to go should be triggered by eating. Last night, I had some cheesecake and a little bit of chocolate, and after the chocolate, I suddenly felt like I needed to go, and I did. I wonder if it was the food in particular or just the act of eating something.

    Food: The cheesecake I had last night was too sweet. I should just make my own with a nut crust, if I'm going to eat dairy & indulge in something sweet. The crust was way too sugary and the cake was kind of bland. I will probably eat the rest anyway! Feel bad for wasting food =\. I think I'm going to make some more gluten-free cookies from my Pamela's baking mix, so I'll chop up the chocolate bar (Green & Black's 85%) for the chips. That will actually be a decent source of starch, since the flour is a mix of things like rice, potato, and tapioca flours. Hulky made dinner last night and it was pork chops, green beans, and rice. I was hungry after dinner. I need to have bigger lunches or dinners. I don't really feel like eating much more in the morning (eggs & sausage this AM), but maybe I just need to change *what* I'm eating in order to eat more. Some starch in the AM? Maybe I'll get more sweet potatoes and par-cook some so I can fry them up on the skillet in the AM. Crispy exterior and soft interior. I think I'm making ghee tonight, tired of coconut oil and almost out.

    Body: Feeling better about my body today. Once I get my gut wrangled, I know the bloating will go away and I will feel better and look better. When I get my sleep regulated again, my face will look better too! I've got that kind of swollen-yet-sunken look in ze eyes.

    Fae: She was being extra cuddly and burrowing under blankets so we suspected she might be cold. Weird that she is acting this way as it finally starts to warm up. Maybe it's just the seasons changing, but she was also not eating as much. The meat was definitely fresh. She puked up a little bile (seriously, like a spoonful, very small) once over the weekend. I bought her some grain-free wet food over the weekend and am mostly just having her eat that this week. I will get some chicken backs ground up for her at Whole Foods (they don't do the frozen pet food anymore, grrrr) soon and try to mix that in. Going forward, I might just have her on a mix of raw & wet food. I'd rather not use kibble, but if she can still maintain her weight using that and other foods, I'll do it. I can't afford to have her on all wet food, it would be around $60/month, which is about 3x as much as I've spent in the past.

    Other: Last night, I dreamt that I took a pregnancy test and it was really technical. It had actual amounts of different things in my urnine on little charts. I could watch them fluctuate as it processed over the 3 minutes it took to determine pregnancy. It came out positive and I was really scared. Hulky was seemingly calm and told me to drink more water tonight and take another test in the morning.

    Wedding: I keep thinking about wearing a really light (pastel or baby) blue. I think it would look good on me, no matter what color my hair ends up being.
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  2. #3772
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    Is kitty eating good? Is she losing weight? Have you wormed her lately? Which reminds me.............. bobo kitty could probably use a worming as well. Cats are strange creatures! Bobo will have the same behavior and patterns for a long time, and then one day she'll do something really strange - the other night she was trying to figure out how to get up on the fireplace mantle - she's never done that before, and she's 11 years old!

    Crazy dream! How funny that you could see all the calculations changing Our brains do weird things when we sleep.

    So, I'm guessing you're not planning to wear a traditional white wedding gown? I do hope you'll post pictures of the big day!

    As for BM issues. I find chocolate always makes me have softer movements. Maybe you should eat some dark chocolate every day for a couple weeks and see if there is any change?
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  3. #3773
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    She was not eating well, very suddenly, so that's why she's on the wet food right now. I've never had a cat wormed (nor has my family ever done that) so I don't know anything about that. She has been losing weight, but she's fat to begin with, so I can't say that it seems very unhealthy at this point. We'll see how things go on the wet food. She's been eating it all up. The food I got requires 2 packets per day for 10 lbs body weight, which is the ultimate goal weight for her, I think.

    I wonder what it is about chocolate that does that.
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  4. #3774
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    My lunch today. I thought I'd be ravenous, but I haven't eaten the avocado or orange and have no inclination. I guess I will have those with dinner! Inside the covered Pyrex was rice, green beans, and two boneless & skinless chicken thighs.

    My hair is so icky looking right now. The color is so faded. I don't really want to wash my hair so I can apply color. I wonder how well it would stick if I just put it on my unwashed hair. I may try, it's not like I'm short on dyes. Tonight I have to do laundry and get 5-HTP so it'll have to wait for some other night.
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  5. #3775
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    Worming a cat is just a matter of giving them pills or a liquid stuff that kills the worms and they "poo" them out.

    I seem to remember you were feeding kitty chicken necks........ could be a small bone got lodged in her throat - that would cause the throwing up as her body was attempting to dislodge it. Is she strictly an indoor cat? If not - do some research on cat illnesses. If she's eating the wet food and not throwing up I'd suspect the problem was from the raw food. But if she continues to lose weight you might want to have a visit to the vet. $$$ ouch.

    You're lunch looks yummy! I love fruit - but trying to stay low carb means zero fruit. That will be hard as summer approaches cuz I do LOVE melons - all kinds of melons!

    Are you trying to give you're hair a rest before adding more color? How long has it been since you let it all go natural? You want your hair to be as healthy as possible for the wedding so maybe taking a good long color break is something to think about?
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  6. #3776
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    I was feeding her chicken necks, but they were slightly ground so no bones were whole. She is strictly indoors per land lady's policy. I figured the vomit this time was just something random. In the past, she has only vomited from the meat being bad (was going brown) or eating too quickly. This only occurred with the raw meat, never with kibble. She has never eaten wet food before this week, to my knowledge, in all her 10 years! We'll just keep an eye on her for now, but the vomiting has not continued (it was just a little bile one time) and she has been eating all the wet food just fine.

    I'm not bleaching my hair, only talking about using temporary colors. That would not damage it at all.
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  7. #3777
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    Budget: I have about $200 to make it through till the 12th. I only need to buy groceries & more cat food, so this should be doable. I might even be able to afford filling up the car (if I drive Hulky to work, that'll be by this weekend, otherwise, probably not till next week), otherwise I'll ask Hulky if he can cover it. I realized recently (maybe I've said this before, but I forgot) that the money I set aside last summer and fall was to cover heating costs. I did overspend this winter, but not as badly as I'd originally thought. Right now, all I have left in savings is my tax return, basically. I am so looking forward to paying this one last oil bill so I can start saving again!

    Food: I had the avocado and orange after work, then a sweet potato, and later I had a pork chop and some broc. I was still hungry and had cheesecake and chocolate again (just a nibble). Today's lunch is the same as yesterday's, but I left the avocado at home since I didn't want it yesterday. I have to go out and get more meat, more frozen veggies, and more cat food tonight.

    Supplements: I got to the Vitamin Shoppe last night and got the cheapest bottle of 5-HTP, about $10, just to get me by until my order comes in from Vitacost. I forget if I said this, but I did get the colostrum. I went with powder form because it will help me make sure I am taking in enough water. Some of the reviews on Vitacost are very negative about the smell/taste, but I read others (maybe on Amazon) that said it's kind of pleasant. I'm interested to see how it seems to me. Anyway, I can't remember how much 5-HTP I took last night. Feeling pretty tired today. The antibiotic is making me burp a lot.

    Mood/brain: I felt pretty good yesterday, but my anxiety started to get worse and worse yesterday evening. I felt better within 10 minutes of taking the 5-HTP, it was pretty incredible. "The Mood Cure" describes this effect, but I haven't had opportunity to really notice it before. I feel kind of scattered today. A little depressed maybe. I hope I can recover by tomorrow, tired of all these fluctuations.

    Sleep: I was exhausted after taking the first part of my 5-HTP dose (100mg, and I can't remember if I took more just before bed, and if so, how much). I was in bed before 10PM, mostly kept up by laundry that needed to be put away. I dump it on the bed so I can't put off folding it, it has to get put away before I can sleep! I woke up before 6AM. I remember hearing the heating turn on at 6. Not groggy, but tired today. Not exhausted either. It's weird that there are different degrees of exhaustion/fatigue/tiredness.

    Gut (TMI): My lower abdomen has been perpetually swollen for the past couple of weeks now. It's been during that time that I've struggled with doses of Vitamin C and when I tried the senna tea. I took 12g of Vitamin C yesterday, had two BMs in the evening, the second of which again left me with gut pain & discomfort. That was after the nibble of chocolate. This morning, I had loose stools. I could tell I would need to go before leaving for work, even before I took my vitamin C (it usually doesn't work that quickly, not in less than an hour). I brought the Vitamin C to work so I can take 12g again today. I'm trying to see if I can build up the dose so that this will be adequate. Taking a 4th dose per day is kind of hassle because it means adding more per dose (tastes bad) or drinking more water right before bed (will wake me up needing to pee).
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  8. #3778
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    Wedding anxiety: Hulky and I feel frustrated and constrained by the $5k budget. We don't know if my parents would be paying for stuff as we go (after we get a rough idea for how much what we want to do will cost), or if they'll just cut us a check. I don't think they'd be cutting us a check unless we ask to do it that way (but they may not have the $5k now, just expecting to be able to spend that much by next year). I need to get over my phone anxiety and call the tent rental company in Maine. I am sure it will be easy enough to get a rough estimate from them. We still don't know where we'd be doing this. My calculations on required square footage do not allow for the whole thing to occur at my grandmother's property, there is not enough open space without trees.
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  9. #3779
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    I sent you a PM.

    I hope the wedding anxieties relax soon. It is doable on a 5k budget. I promise. That's what I spent.
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  10. #3780
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    Yep. That's all we spent (a little less, actually.) Is there a place known in the area for family reunions and such? Not necessarily a park, but even a bright, wide open piece of land. Someone's back forty or something. I found ours (granted, it was 3 hours from the nearest airport) by hunting for "ranch rental event West Texas."
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
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