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Thread: Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change? page 371

  1. #3701
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    Primal Fuel
    I meant to take a walk, but ended up vegging to Skyrim. I might go out to grab some grass-fed milk at Whole Foods (test out my Lactaid pills with some hot chocolate) as well as sweet potatoes and bananas from Trader Joes. Trying to think if there are any other snack items I want/need right now.

    If Canio swings by: Hulky bought me the latest DLC a while back and I finally started playing it. Do not, I repeat, do not reset a 100-level skill to Legendary! It sets you back to 15, and you have to level through the skill all over again. What do you get out of it? I don't even know. It's the stupidest feature ever. Dragonborn is fun though. I am still having fun re-playing all the other main questlines. Just finished Thieves Guild, working on building a couple of massive houses (supply collection is slow-going), and finishing up the vampire DLC (been dragging it out). Let me just tell you, fully-powered vamp lords are AWESOME. Kind of a hassle keeping yourself fed, though.

    Hulky and I chatted about our finance plan last night while folding laundry. We're putting it into effect in April. We're going to try to pay off his car this year. It may be done as soon as this Fall if we can stick to the plan. We're also going to turn off the heat on April 1st and just use the space heater as needed. Running up the electric bill as needed should be much more affordable than ~$300/mo on oil. I think last month was the most expensive heating bill, prior to that was under $300, I think.
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  2. #3702
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    I feel better today, but still rocky. I feel like my mind is in a place so that I can make observations about my brain "status".

    Period (TMI): I thought last week that I had my period, in the midst of the continuous "spotting" (very light bleeding) for the past nearly 2 months. On Thursday last week, I had a slightly heavier flow, but then it went back to "normal" (spotting). No doubt about it: yesterday, my period started (usual heavier flow that coincides with the start of it). The incredibly low mood and brain funk coincides with the terrible PMS I was experiencing prior to starting the Vitex. It always happened the week up to and especially the last couple of days just before my period started, including the very first day. That explains my low mood this week, and why I'm feeling quite a bit better now on day 2.

    TL;DR non-TMI version is: bad mood this week was PMS and I now have a normal period. I can only hope that it ends like it's supposed to next week. I want to start the Vitex again for the PMS, but am wondering if I should wait to make sure this is all over with first. I sent a message to my gyn about this, she may get back to me today (she's only in the office once a week).

    Doc wants me to go back in for more blood work today (just swing by the lab), but I'm wary of the lab costs. It will be at least a few weeks before I get any bills for this.

    Food: I had more pizza yesterday, but then ordered sushi for dinner. Got to a point of, "Okay, I just made lunches for tomorrow, but I really don't want to eat this for dinner or make more food. I could, but it does feel really out of my capabilities right now." So I said screw it, took it easy on myself, and enjoyed some maki rolls. Today, I have chicken, broc, McIntosh apple, and 1/2 an orange for lunch. I think one more piece of fruit or a Larabar would round this off, I don't think this has been enough food for me in the past. I had 3 eggs scrambled in coconut oil for breakfast this morning, felt like enough.

    Gut stuff (TMI): With the start of my period always comes with easier BMs, sometimes too loose. That was definitely true yesterday and with the Senna tea from the night before, it was all too much for me to handle (mentally). I decided to skip the tea last night, which means the only gut-health thing I've taken today is my probiotic. I just didn't get around to taking the L-Glutamine (and my drop of Iodine).

    My energy is waaayyy low on the stairs. Really hoping that I can start taking Vitex again because that really seemed to help with overall energy before.
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  3. #3703
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    Hulky is coming up with a game plan to tackle a few things.
    -for migraines & insomnia - stop taking all sleep-aids and pain killers for a few days (migraines are probably from allergies & fluorescent lights at work), then resume with one thing at a time. Probably start with allergy meds, so we'll get a week's worth of some name-brand allergy pill for him to try for a bit, then try another if that doesn't work etc.
    -for exercise - work out together 30-40 minutes everyday, even if it's just body-weight stuff. He wants to start doing pull-ups again so I'm doing some research to see if I can find any outdoor structures for us to use (jungle gyms might work, but they can be a bit low to the ground). I'm suggesting that we get outside at least once every weekend starting now, even if it's just walking to and from the train station. Tricky thing about the work outs together is that we can only really do them right when he gets home from work, so it's not too soon to bed or too close to dinner.
    -paying attention to his body - He noted that he feels hungry after eating 3 slices of pizza a few hours ago and feels very jittery after taking the Excedrin Migraine. He usually is not that sensitive to caffeine and usually does not eat before work. I suspect glucose spike. I don't know if that would affect one's sensitivity to caffeine, however. Since he's doing some trial and error with these things, I'm leaving it up to him to try and figure out. He may go and talk to his doctor, but I'm not going to say anything unless he asks.
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  4. #3704
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    Sounds like a lot of N=1 X 2 going on at your house! Hope you get it all sorted out soon!
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  5. #3705
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    Quote Originally Posted by namelesswonder View Post
    If Canio swings by: Hulky bought me the latest DLC a while back and I finally started playing it. Do not, I repeat, do not reset a 100-level skill to Legendary! It sets you back to 15, and you have to level through the skill all over again. What do you get out of it? I don't even know. It's the stupidest feature ever. Dragonborn is fun though. I am still having fun re-playing all the other main questlines. Just finished Thieves Guild, working on building a couple of massive houses (supply collection is slow-going), and finishing up the vampire DLC (been dragging it out). Let me just tell you, fully-powered vamp lords are AWESOME. Kind of a hassle keeping yourself fed, though.
    Ah, good to know! I haven't played Skyrim in a month or so and should get back into it. WTF reset to 15? I hope you get something cool as shit out of it. Let me know. I'll have to give the vampire thing a try. I haven't even downloaded that DLC yet. I am way behind. :/
    somehow I manage to leave my intelligence and decorum at the door wherever I go. I doubt your journal will be an exception to that - not on the rug

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  6. #3706
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    Quote Originally Posted by canio6 View Post
    Ah, good to know! I haven't played Skyrim in a month or so and should get back into it. WTF reset to 15? I hope you get something cool as shit out of it. Let me know. I'll have to give the vampire thing a try. I haven't even downloaded that DLC yet. I am way behind. :/
    I can't quite figure out what you get for making a skill tree Legendary. There aren't any new perks, but I think it can go up to 120 now? Or something? I don't know, but the frustration of having it reset makes it completely not worth it. Destruction was my only skill tree at 100 so I'm using this as an opportunity to increase Conjuration (loving my Atronarchs right now) and Enchanting too.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  7. #3707
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    Gut stuff (TMI): I had a small, difficult BM yesterday after not drinking senna tea two nights ago. I took about 6 grams of Vitamin C powder last night to try to get things moving before I gave up and just drank the senna tea. Only... it's been 14 hrs since I drank it and nothing. I had some bad stomach pain this morning, which usually heralds a BM the morning after the tea, but...nothing. I'm feeling kind of queasy. I'm going to hydrate incessantly and hope things get moving before this evening, otherwise today is going to be very uncomfortable.

    I think when I'm done with the box of senna tea, I will go back to Vitamin C for at least a few days to see what dose I require for optimal digestion. I had gotten down to about 4g over the whole day a couple of months ago, but it's definitely well above that now.

    I think I'm going to do a detox bath tonight. I'll watch an episode of Buffy on the laptop while I soak. I'm going to need more epsom salt, baking soda, and powdered ginger after this. I've been using the epsom salt for a foot soak most nights this week. After the first time, my toes felt really achy, but since then, it has felt very relaxing. I put some tea tree oil and ACV in it to try and help the athlete's foot healing.

    Dinner last night was sausages, broc, and rice. I had some rice. I finally got out for some groceries so I'll have sweet potato tonight, whoo! We need more groceries this weekend. I need to pick a recipe to try that incorporates fresh veggies. This year, I had intended to have a "fresh" meal at least once a week, but haven't been sticking to that lately.

    Budget is doing okay this month, since it was a 3-paycheck month. I could've saved a lot more, but all our extra spending was well worth it. We had a good time eating out, hosting a party, and spending more time relaxing in the evenings with food ordered in.
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  8. #3708
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    Therapy was good today. Felt much better than last week. I'm going again next week, then resuming the bi-weekly schedule. I think it will be good to have another week of "catch up" and reevaluation after not going for over a month (jury duty and schedule conflicts) in February.

    I feel like I've been pretty constantly tired since jury duty. That of course coincides with a of the hormonal nonsense that's been going on for the past couple of months, so I'm sure that has more to do with it than anything else. I do feel like I am more tired and less focused at work than at home. I don't know if it's stress or a disinterest in work or what. Things have suddenly been my problem that weren't before with the co-worker being out to handle the death of his child (a week ago today, lighting another candle for Chloe tonight). It's very frustrating trying to slog through things that we just don't have access to. He is the only one who knows how to do these things. I'm looking forward to getting all that information from him ASAP when he is back. This should've been done ages ago.

    I'm trying to decide what to do with my hair. The dyed portions are kind of weak-feeling and feel dry even when my hair is dirty. My scalp builds up a lot of crud very easily. I washed with conditioner last night and the roots feel much better. I feel like there is less build-up. I think I will do an egg wash tonight and then avoid getting my hair went for at least a few days to see how the oil production goes. I think avoiding water is going to be the best way to keep my scalp happy doing no-poo.

    I do want to color it again, but I will let it fade out as it wills. I have plenty of purple and pinks to work from in my stash.
    Last edited by namelesswonder; 03-22-2013 at 11:14 AM.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
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  9. #3709
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    Nameless Wonders: How to say goodbye - teenage edition
    Saying goodbye to my Yahoo! group, Teens With Self-Injury.
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  10. #3710
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    Feeling positive this morning. I took L-Tyrosine after feeling kind of anxious this morning and nearly fighting with Hulky about stupid shit. After that and my chiropractic appointment (chiro was so psyched when we announced our engagement, he gave us a hug! pretty sure we're his favorite patients :-p), I feel much better, but I feel like doing stuff and can't think of anything!

    I'm venturing out to Harvard Square on my own now, Hulky doesn't really like going (very touristy and lots of hipsters and punks, has a nostalgic factor for me, but not for him). Hopefully the Gap there will be having some undergarment sales, otherwise I'll just check out the prices on the spinner rings and do some window shopping. I might treat myself to something sugary from Starbucks. I don't have the guts to ask for something made with cream or half & half, which is silly, I know. Ordering stuff still gives me anxiety, especially changing the order.

    I need to order more supplements. I'm going to run out of 5-HTP again soon enough (last time, bought it at Vitamin Shoppe, which means only 60 capsules per bottle instead of 120) and I'm still undecided on next gut-protocol experiment. Still leaning towards a complete month of colostrum supplementation.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

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