Congrats on picking a date! Pretty new hair color too! I've been on vacation for a week and haven't stayed up with journals. Lots happening every where!
I'm inching my "weigh" down the scales!
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Don't give up what you want MOST, for what you want NOW
My mom doesn
The parts that struck home with me were just the themes of it: building your own life out of bad things and learning and growing perpetually. Sometimes I see the flaws in my parents and feel really confused about how they have not changed. I feel like there were plenty of opportunities for them to recognize their problems when I was growing up, but they never owned up to their mistakes. But we're all capable of change, we just have to decide if we want to do it or not. Can't vs. don't want to.
(Of course my parent issues are closer to her parent issues than yours, different too... but same wave length. It's strangely appealing knowing you are not alone in the world even though that means bad things for other people.)
Thanks for posting.
Last edited by cori93437; 02-18-2013 at 12:30 PM.
Our body is our subconscious mind, and anybody who thinks that their conscious mind is running the show is seriously mistaken. In fact the conscious mind just may be the most narcissistic entity in the universe, it thinks it's running the show. It's not.
~ Nora Gegaudas
"Everything can be taken from a man but one thing... -- to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way." ~Vicktor Frankl
And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.
I was gonna put that in your journal actually, made me think of you, but felt weird about it. My issues with my family are very different than what's described in that article, but in the end, it boils down to issues that need to be addressed, or not addressed, and coming to peace with that.
Anyway, I guess I've been extra reflective lately. Some of it just comes from envisioning a wedding ceremony and how I want to honor us as a couple, and our families (or do I?). Some of it comes from imagining married life and wondering how different it might be (we'll have lived together for about 3 years by the wedding). Some of it is just self-improvement and self-therapy. I haven't been to therapy since the 1st! Don't know yet if my therapist will be in-office this Friday. Might end up being a whole month w/out, which is pretty cool. I feel good. I feel like I've been doing a pretty good job of sorting through the immediate stuff on my own.
In thinking of wedding budgeting: I have a feeling that I might be the one who does all the savings, while Hulky keeps us sane & happy with mini-splurges . I'm pretty much okay with that, I like feeling "treated". I think we might go out for burgers again tonight. I loved the Vermonster burger, but I think I want to try something else this time.
Hurray for individual meetings!
Last edited by Pebbles67; 02-18-2013 at 05:00 PM.
Hey- if I can go back to the "how to make it work when our heads are broken" thing- believing that you are worth fixing is a massive step and possibly the most important. In the meantime, however, it helps to have someone you respect that can point out why you are worth fixing/not completely broken. (I just got off a peptalk/kick in the pants phone call with Mom.) If you respect them, you are more likely to believe them, and if they can point to real, concrete things, it sticks better than "but you're great!"
Anywho- back to the wedding talk!
I'm working on a health theory for myself. Part of it is including more "fuck it" meals. Like last night, we went out and got burgers again. It actually was a very awkward trip because first they brought the wrong fries (but we got to keep the extra ones) and then we were chatting and having a nice time so that we didn't realize it had been an HOUR and people who had arrived after us had gotten appetizers AND their main meal and our burgers still hadn't arrived. They took all the fries off the bill (he got "pizza fries", which were as amazing as you'd expect, I had sweet potato fries, and the extra ones were just regular, really thick-cut wedges) and we got our burgers wrapped up. Then we had a nice snuggle-y evening watching a new-to-us show (Alphas, interesting SyFy show). I got a FatBoy burger, which had pulled pork, BBQ sauce, bacon and cheese on it. Hulky got something like a cheese steak bomb on a burger (mushrooms, peppers, 3 types of cheese, bacon, he chose to leave off the onions). A "f*ck it" meal led to a really nice evening together. Did we have to eat out for that to happen? No, but sometimes it's a helpful gateway into more stress-relief. The goal is that "f*ck it* meals will ultimately be something gluten-free and totally primal, just a bit more indulgent than I'd normally prepare/eat, so that I don't also suffer physically from the "night off"!
So, I didn't get grocery shopping done, but I can pick up the $0.88 avocados and some sweet potatoes, at least, on my way home from work. I had incredible painful bloating last night, but a glass of water with a liberal splash of ACV took away the worst of it before bed (forgot to have another this AM). We slept in the guest bed and I was a little groggy this AM, but nothing that getting to bed on time tonight won't fix. I took 200mg of 5-HTP last night to ensure sleep, now that I think of it, so maybe 150mg would have been enough.
Poor Hulky woke up with a sinus-pressure induced migraine this morning. He got up to get his things together and then went back to bed. He doesn't get headaches often, but he sounded congested, so I pressed on his cheekbones. He confirmed the pain so I dosed him with Dayquil and checked in on him every 10 min after that. I left for work a little late and he was still hiding from sound & light, so he pinky-promised to email his professor and that he would be going to work regardless. I suspect the congestion is from the dim sum and burger he ate yesterday. A lot more processed food than we usually eat!
Tonight, I call to see if I have to report for jury duty. Fingers crossed.
I think this dress would be super flattering on me. I have it bookmarked so I can hopefully find it elsewhere when I can spare the cash. I see cute casual dresses like this now and think, "Engagement party?" but if we end up having it at my parents' house this June, it will probably be a pool party, and Hulky will probably not let me wear anything that I can't be throw into the pool wearing.
Won't let me see the dress without creating an account.
If Hulky'd migraine persists, get him to a doc for ABX, as it's likely a sinus infection. (At least, that was my n=1 and they are making their way around.)
I wonder (your f- it meal idea brought this to mind) how much of your intestinal distress is related to dietary stress, both in terms of stressing over what you eat and the possibility that something you eat regularly doesn't like your intestines.
"No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
My Primal Battle Tome
$28, but they just sold out of my size. Not finding it anywhere else online. Sigh, t'was not meant to be.
If I'd been eating something that disagrees with me for the past 5-6 months... I don't know. I've gone through periods of elimination. I've done 30+ days of strict primal. I've done dairy free for longer, consistently. Nothing seems to make it better. I don't have better days, only sometimes worse (if I don't keep up with the supplements, or if I eat something that I KNOW is bad
GAPS is probably the only kind of elimination I could do at this point. And yeah, I guess I'm still resisting doing it.
I'm hoping that focusing on mental stress reduction will help with the GI stuff, especially as it leads back into happily eating strict dairy-free primal (I go with primal instead of paleo because I am liberal with the fat consumption).
Threelac arrives today. Feeling equally hopeful and depressed about it.