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Thread: Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change? page 33

  1. #321
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    Haha agreed on not looking like a little boy. I was teased by my friends a lot when we were growing up because I was so flat-chested. I still have a very small bust (COMPLETELY genetic), but I like it now =P

    I've definitely considered volunteering at a shelter. I think it would be wonderful for a multitude of reasons, including loving cats & dogs & bunnies (what the local shelters usually have) and wanting to adopt a cat in the Spring. I do like horses too, and it would be a nice opportunity to learn how to ride if there were any stables around here!
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  2. #322
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    Quote Originally Posted by namelesswonder View Post
    Haha agreed on not looking like a little boy. I was teased by my friends a lot when we were growing up because I was so flat-chested. I still have a very small bust (COMPLETELY genetic), but I like it now =P

    I've definitely considered volunteering at a shelter. I think it would be wonderful for a multitude of reasons, including loving cats & dogs & bunnies (what the local shelters usually have) and wanting to adopt a cat in the Spring. I do like horses too, and it would be a nice opportunity to learn how to ride if there were any stables around here!
    My wife thanks having a baby for her larger bust. Of course, you shouldn't* just go off and have a baby just to increase your cup size, plus it hurts your back.

    I'm proud of you because you're happy with what you got. My wife could learn a bit about loving her body and who she is. I know I already do!
    Last edited by fpsjosh01; 10-20-2011 at 10:40 AM. Reason: omg I put should*
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  3. #323
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    My mom's bust did not stay bigger after babies, but the weight gain made them bigger along with everything else =P

    It's taken a long time for me to get to where I am now in terms of comfort with my body. I wrote a blog entry about it recently and my sister (former anorexic) commented with some thoughts about how she's not really there in terms of being able to talk about it. I'm glad she read it though. I used to be really envious of her body (she had the hips I have now when she was in high school but is bigger busted and has narrower shoulders) but now she is tiny (like a size 2 at 5'5") and vegan and it all just makes me sad. In a way she serves as what I don't EVER WANT TO BE and that makes me love myself. Also sad.

    Haha I laughed pretty hard at your edit! I think I'd like to have a baby or two someday, but hopefully that day is still a ways off. I told boyfriend it ain't happening until after marriage at the very least and that isn't happening until after he graduates, probably. A girl can dream... I mean, he did tell me to remember the date June 22nd and that we're having a date then. Either something very cool is coming to the Boston area then or he's planned ahead on a proposal date? I'm trying not to get my hopes up but GODS IT'S HARD.
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  4. #324
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    Quote Originally Posted by namelesswonder View Post
    My mom's bust did not stay bigger after babies, but the weight gain made them bigger along with everything else =P

    It's taken a long time for me to get to where I am now in terms of comfort with my body. I wrote a blog entry about it recently and my sister (former anorexic) commented with some thoughts about how she's not really there in terms of being able to talk about it. I'm glad she read it though. I used to be really envious of her body (she had the hips I have now when she was in high school but is bigger busted and has narrower shoulders) but now she is tiny (like a size 2 at 5'5") and vegan and it all just makes me sad. In a way she serves as what I don't EVER WANT TO BE and that makes me love myself. Also sad.

    Haha I laughed pretty hard at your edit! I think I'd like to have a baby or two someday, but hopefully that day is still a ways off. I told boyfriend it ain't happening until after marriage at the very least and that isn't happening until after he graduates, probably. A girl can dream... I mean, he did tell me to remember the date June 22nd and that we're having a date then. Either something very cool is coming to the Boston area then or he's planned ahead on a proposal date? I'm trying not to get my hopes up but GODS IT'S HARD.
    You better hope he doesn't read the forum ;-). Also, glad to be the goddamn comedian around here! You guys need paula deen memes like nobodies business.
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  5. #325
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    Oh he definitely doesn't. He doesn't "get" primal/paleo and makes the usual "but I love my pasta" excuses.
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  6. #326
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    I actually didn't like my body at the weight I'm shooting for now. But, looking back, I looked good- and felt good. Physically anyway. But I discovered that belly dancing was really good for my self-image. It's designed for women with curves and some weight- one instructor I had actually had to cheat some to make her moves look right because she wasn't big enough for the style she loved. It was really cool to spend time with larger, interesting women who could do some really impressive things with their bodies. Oh- and had no shame about walking around with their less-than-svelte bellies bare!

  7. #327
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    I've definitely been intrigued by belly dancing, but I also feel like it's more than a little silly. Maybe because most of the people I've seen do it just look like they're compensating for a body they want but don't have. I know that's pretty terrible of me, but oh well. I'm talking about women who are probably 50lbs overweight at least. I dunno, yeah I'm terrible, but I don't really care =P Everybody judges, it's how we get by.

    I've felt very calm lately. It's very strange. I think it may be the L-Tyrosine in the form of the protein powder, since it also has VitC (which is recommended with L-Tyrosine for maximum absorption). It's not the same feeling as when I took 1500mg of L-Tyrosine in pill form; I'm taking ~500mg from the powder and 500mg from 1 pill at breakfast time. I feel very functional mentally, and just generally not bothered. Yesterday I was looking into FasterEFT and made some great revelations by making a list of various things in my past that have bothered me. I always felt responsible for the end of my first long-term relationship (over 2.5yrs) not just because I actually ended it, but because I felt like I was the one who destroyed it in the first place. I realized and really ACCEPTED for the first time yesterday that I was not in the right place yet to really better myself as I'd been trying to do when I was in that relationship. I needed help from my partner and kept asking him for help, but could not recognize that he did not know what to do and I was not helping him find solutions. He could not provide for me emotionally what I needed, and that's okay.

    FOR THE FIRST TIME I CAN RECALL, I thought of something troubling and just let it go.

    I'm in shock.

    I'm very afraid to be so optimistic that this might last. I am DEFINITELY getting vitamin C this weekend. They say to take it until you get bowel disruption (I forget the term, but until you get diarrhea basically), so the testing might be a bit unpleasant =P

    And today the printer was all jammed up on the server. I was alone and got energetic (adrenaline) because I was having trouble following the steps to solve it (the server was taking a long time to open or close anything I needed), but then I fixed it, and that was that. My boss emailed me about an error message he received with no further details. I emailed him back with a number of questions, bulleted so he could fill in the answers, he answered and called me immediately (as usual) and I just kind of laughed to myself and that was that. I'll deal with it if it's still an issue later.

    I kept filling out that list of past events with more information about things that have ever bothered me and lingered. I thought about my online relationship when I was 15/16 with a boy from Texas that I met in person only once after 5+ mos of talking to him online and on the phone. I've feared for a long time that he might come looking for me because as of last year he apparently is still in love with the memory of me. I've been afraid that I might go back to him because I remember how accepted I felt with him then. But I was very depressed at that time and so was he. I am not anymore. I am not that person anymore and I ACCEPT that it happened and it's over. If I ever see him again, I think I could honestly say it was nice to see him again, for closure, and walk away. That's it.

    ....

    I'm amazed. Seriously. This is such a breakthrough. More than any therapy has ever helped. I feel like crying.
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  8. #328
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    Hooray! Cry if you need to. Sometimes you do. But it sounds like you're doing great! I remember the first time I really forgave someone that had caused me a lot of pain. It was so freeing. I'm so glad you're getting there, too!

    With the belly dancing, I think a lot of it is the teacher. My first one was WIERD. But I've since had a couple very good ones. I've seen a lot of really heavy women do it- and when they're not good, it's not pretty- but when they are good, they own their bodies and it can be jaw-dropping.

  9. #329
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    Good work! Call today a good milestone.

    Your posts are very inpiring.

    Time to go dig deep.

    Also, belly dancing!! ^_^
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  10. #330
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    The amazingness in my brain continues. My scooter wasn't ready and it was really no big deal. The guys at the shop have been nothing but awesome to me. I got it back today finally.

    Ribs at Chilis last night gave me terrible gas that is still going this afternoon! I'll probably eat the leftovers anyway.
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