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Thread: Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change? page 313

  1. #3121
    namelesswonder's Avatar
    namelesswonder is online now Senior Member
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    I don't want to go into debt over this. If it gets too stressful, we're eloping and we'll have a party later!

    Flowers are whatever anyway. If we do this at my grandma's property, it's going to be all about being outside in nice weather (hopefully) and running around, chatting, drinking, eating, whatever. We're not having a wedding party and I don't want a bouquet. Screw decorating. It's nature. And it'll probably be September, so LEAVES . If FiancÚ's little niece and nephews want to be involved, they can toss leaves and run around to let people know when it's time to gather for the ceremony. Leaf-children, instead of flower girl/ring bearer.

    A friend's mom has already offered to buy us some cases of champagne! She was all, you do NOT have to invite us, but I totally would, esp. since we want to invite my other friends' parents. I think we'd probably just estimate booze and have a tub of ice with beers and stuff. And some lemonade, and a water station. Mmmm...fresh well water. We'd enlist friends to keep an eye on supplies, most likely, instead of having any kind of orchestrator/planner.

    There's a friend I haven't seen in years... He's very hard to keep in touch with. I was very close with him and another friend (that is DEFINITELY getting invited, went to his wedding in '11) in high school. I'm on the fence about inviting him. FiancÚ isn't enthused, I think he feels protective because I felt hurt about this friend not keeping in touch, but I think it'd be fun to have him and he would have a good time. Plenty of time to figure that out, anyway. A wedding would be a great time to reconnect. He wasn't able to come to our friend's wedding in '11, he was travelling in a circus troupe in Japan!

    My parents are going to talk about their financial contribution. My mom said they will probably either contribute via a check to spend wherever needed, or they'll pay for some specific portions. I can't really guess what to expect from them, but my mom wants us to come up with some ideas of what we want and a rough date before they come up with an amount. I don't feel like I can do that without a ballpark range, at least. I mean, a smaller wedding would be 20 people for just close family. Our max guest list is looking to be around 60 people (a bunch of families, and kids).

    My dress goal is under $300 for something new that I'd wear again. Obviously, something used, I'd shoot for less. I've seen some really pretty bridesmaid styles, but I'm also trying to keep in mind that I probably don't want to pick anything until it's MUCH closer to the wedding so my tastes don't change too much .

    As far as I can figure, costs will be...
    -clothes (dress & suit or whatever he wants to wear)
    -transport for guests from hotel or central location (grandmother's friend's house is in the area and has more room for parking)
    -FOOD (piggy on a spit, and maybe other BBQ things, plus cake or something seet)
    -BOOZE
    -officiant
    -photos (because even if Liz does it for free, I want to give her SOMETHING)

    I bet food will be the most costly thing.
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  2. #3122
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    Quote Originally Posted by cori93437 View Post
    I hate to tell you this... but you are getting a themed ring bearers pillow/box.

    Love is the theme. Sort of. Yes.

    I demand that you honor my gift!
    Can't not honor the Cori!
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  3. #3123
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    Damn, you are doing it right. I wish I was as smart as you the first time I got married.

  4. #3124
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    Pig on a pit sounds awesome! I'd still look into Jon's suggesting of a cooking school, just to get ideas of different cost variants and see where it leads you. If you're like me, you may have friends that can make you a cake at an inexpensive price, so that may be something to look into.
    Georgette

  5. #3125
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    Quote Originally Posted by geostump View Post
    Pig on a pit sounds awesome! I'd still look into Jon's suggesting of a cooking school, just to get ideas of different cost variants and see where it leads you. If you're like me, you may have friends that can make you a cake at an inexpensive price, so that may be something to look into.
    Or see if you have a friend like me. I absolutely hate weddings. There is nothing I dislike more (except perhaps funerals and getting kicked in the nuts) than having to sit through them. Now, I f*cking love to cook. Want me to come to your wedding? Need someone to sit outside with a pig? Sign me up. (not literally as Mass is a looooong way from here.) Long story short, some friend might happily BBQ for free for you.

  6. #3126
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    I don't think any of my friends are really BBQ kind of people. I mean, I don't think any of them even cook. FiancÚ's dad is, but unless he volunteers to man the spit or grill or whatever, there's no way I'm bringing it up or suggesting it. He shouldn't have to do work on his son's wedding day! I definitely don't have baking inclined friends either. But my grandmother knows a lot of people and they LOVE her. Hmm... actually, a family friend (who I just remembered to add to the list!) lives in Maine, has a farm, and we might be able to ask her to provide a piggy! She probably has connections as well.

    But seriously STOP ME PLANNING NOW. At this rate, we could get married THIS fall instead of next year! It kind of feels like I won't be able to do anything for a while and that's a bit frustrated. Just focus on saving $$, I guess =\. We could get married this fall, except Boyfriend will be back in school, so we couldn't honeymoon soon after. I think we'd both like to. I'll talk to him about it.

    I forgot: we'll need at least one tent, in case of rain, and to shade people/beverages. That'd be pretty pricey, I'm sure.
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  7. #3127
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    OMG ice cream! There's a local ice cream shop and the owners know and love my grandma. They are the sweetest. I think they're closed in September, but I wonder if we could have them set aside some flavors for us and maybe scoop some at the wedding?
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  8. #3128
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    My recommendation:
    1) Check your grocery store for the cake. I'm not even kidding. A $500 cake cost all of $150 at the grocery store.
    2) Wherever you go, don't use the word weddng. People hear that word and hike the price.
    3) For bridesmaid and groomsmen, tell them "a [color] dress" or "a suit." Maes it more unique and easier on their/ you budget.
    4) You see those bridal magazines? Throw 'em out. Those require more money than brains.
    5) Don't bother ordering invitations. You can DIY them for half to 1/10 the price.
    6) Your bridal gift will be bridal headgear. Wirework circlet, veil, whatever. Let me know when you get that far. He's getting a pocket dingus to match.
    7) It's not your day, it's y'all's day, even if he bows out of planning.
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
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  9. #3129
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    1. Good call.
    2. Yes, absolutely, have been reading about that.
    3. No bridesmaid or groomsmen so they can wear whatever the F they want.
    4. I have been looking at lots of blogs, like Off Beat Bride. Lots of fun stuff. Some sites have really good articles that remind me that it's about what WE want and not what other people do.
    5. I think we'll do a wed-site, except for the grandparents.
    6. Also, lol at "dingus".
    7. He'll be right there with me on the planning, I'm just getting waaayyyy ahead of myself.

    I'll be sure to let you all know when we set a date. My invite to you all is in the form of getting all the details, since I won't put nearly as much on the blog, where others (who won't be attending or invited) would see it. If I could invite you guys, I would!

    In other news, I choked on broth this evening. It was so bad that I ended up on all fours on the kitchen floor. I was about to start crawling for the phone, but then I realized I could breathe okay through my nose if I calmed down. This is the second time in the past couple of weeks that I've choked on something while home alone. I suppose liquids are not really a big deal, but it was rather scary. FiancÚ threatened not to let me eat when home alone anymore.
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  10. #3130
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    Zee
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    Quote Originally Posted by namelesswonder View Post
    Fae: She wolfed down her food last night and this morning within 20 minutes. Good girl. I just started her on raw maybe 2 weeks ago? I'd given her bits and pieces here and there for a little while, so she knew the taste, but hadn't had much of it, and not in every meal. She took to it very quickly. I'm giving her a meal of chicken liver once a week, as it sounds like she doesn't need much of that. I chop up chicken (mostly thighs, but also necks & back, not really ground, just in small pieces) for her. We'll try other meats at some point too. So if I'm not grinding any of it, and avoid ground beef, she should be okay, right? I don't want to over-supplement. Don't know if that would do anything bad. Do I need to supplement taurine if I don't grind the food?
    That's awesome that she took to it so quickly. Is she young? Mine are 8 years old and finicky...

    As for whether or not to supplement, I don't know for sure. From what I have read, recommendations range from "absolutely you must" to "that depends..." so a little research based on what you're feeding her and your own gut feeling would be good.

    Re: wedding planning, I got nothin'. We lived together for a year and a half, had a kid and around HIS first birthday said, "We could get married". Three weeks later, we were. JOP at the courthouse with our parents, best man and maid-of-honor, with a reception in his aunt's backyard. His family took care of the food, including the cake (his sister and mom were, no, ARE awesome!!). He wore dress clothes he already owned and I wore his sister's wedding dress from her first marriage. Almost 22 years later and I have zero regrets.

    Best of luck!!

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