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Thread: Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change? page 265

  1. #2641
    namelesswonder's Avatar
    namelesswonder is online now Senior Member
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    Boyfriend is off with his brother & dad to work on the car. I am trusting him to know his own limits, given the # of broken bones he has experienced in his life, though part of me wants to go hysterical and sit with him anxiously in the hospital to wait for x-rays and prognosis. We'll do that later, but hopefully without the hysteria. I don't know if he put the car first for me, or because it was the plan before his foot was broken.

    I feel like an absolute jerk for the way I acted last night. He left for work, foot definitely broken, acting pretty calm, but came home and was being kind of delirious from the pain/endorphins. I freaked out a bit. We talked about it. I think he understands.

    His foot is pretty swollen and there's a big bruise on the top. He hit it on the side, vaulting out of bed over me ("instead of climbing over like a normal person").

    I realized from this injury that I still blame myself for his shoulder injury. We talked about that too. I feel better about it. I'm glad I was able to think it through.

    I'm still wanting to eat crap food. I have some good food here, but nothing seems appealing. This weekend, I've eaten a dumpling (peking ravioli), ice cream (Rocky Road at the movie theater), a few small chocolate chip cookies (made by Boyfriend's mom), and had some beer to sip (probably less than a 1/4 of a bottle total). Even with just one of those things, it was enough to find me bloated the next morning and with a few fresh pimples.

    In other positive news
    -My dad and I had fun yesterday discussing family history. I'm old enough now to hear more about his parents' experiences in the war (WWII). I really need to get this written down as accurately as possible, with a timeline. I wish I could've filmed my dad talking. I don't think he'd do that, but he insists we do it for my grandmother. It was a great discussion, and an excellent reminder to keep an open mind with anyone's telling/reading of historical events. There are so many stories untold, and stories that will never be told. We are running out of time, for that era. My hypothetical future children will not have an interest like I have had in my grandparents lives, instead it will be on my parents. It is interesting to see how that can/could shape people. One thing that I took from that conversation that is sticking with me today is my grandparents' motto, "There are good people, and there are bad people." In context, it was in regards to Nazis and Germans.
    -I saw my abs today. Boyfriend sees them too. I am mystified. WHERE DID THEY COME FROM?!
    -The Hobbit was awesome. I know a lot of people didn't like it, but I thought it was amazing. I felt that the weakest point was probably the dialogue. Note: it's been many years since I read the book, but a lot of the scenes seemed familiar and were how I envisioned them. The harmony for "Far Over the Misty Mountains" is really beautiful (the one in the film, not in the credits). Richard Armitage as Torin Oakenshield is really great. He plays Guy of Gisborne in BBC's really terrible "Robin Hood" show. I watched the first two seasons with my ex in college, just started the 3rd now. Robin is balding, it's honestly a little distracting.
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  2. #2642
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    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
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    Sometimes, stress binge eating just creeps up and beats you over the head. I'm not part of Al-Anon anymore, but their adage of "one day at a time" really applies here. Sometimes shit really does happen all at once, and the best you can do is live each moment as something of it's own. Y'know, seeing every tree on it's own because seeing the forest would scare you into a pile of goo and bones.
    Maybe an upside to the broken foot would be getting slightly healthier food into him (bone broth and bone friendly veggies) and maybe those habits will stick. Even bone broth instead of water in his ramen would be a good start.
    Depending on which bones he broke, it doesn't hurt like the end of the world, but more like a sprain (speaking from experience here.) Either way, he needs to get off his foot or into moon boot as soon as feasible. Even a quack in a box (urgent care place) should be able to diagnose and wrap him up, and for less total cost than the ER.
    To be fair, any human in loving relationship would wig if a loved one tried to carry like nothing had happened with an obviously broken bone.
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  3. #2643
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    sorry about boyfriends foot......... hope he gets it tended to quickly. I hope the stang gets moved with not troubles.

    Yeah for ABS! As for the bad food -- don't worry about it - just get back to the healthy stuff and you'll be feeling good again in no time.
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  4. #2644
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    namelesswonder is online now Senior Member
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    Right now, I take it one bite at a time. When the bites are on track, it'll be one meal. Then one day. Then a few days. At that point, I don't bother keeping track anymore. Week to week adds stress to me, I've learned, and I tend to fall apart at the end of the week if I'm tracking too strictly. I loosen up mentally, still eating the right foods, and somehow that enables me to stick to food that's completely good for me. I guess the Whole30 mentality doesn't really work for me anymore.

    I had a large over-baked cookie (threw out the last part of it when the headache kicked in) and then spaghetti squash with homemade meat sauce. The sauce is goooood. It's not very saucy, to be fair. Meat sludge would be more accurate, but it's far more delicious than that word allows for. I'll probably eat more for dinner later.

    Boyfriend should probably not be on his foot, but I am not about to tell him what to do. I'll be there with him to ask questions of the doctor (should we ice, should we raise, how long to wear the boot etc.) when we go tonight. He is used to living with pain, so I know his judgement is probably not the best, though it gives him plenty of experience, but I am not his keeper. It's up to him to decide what he wants to do about it and he chose to be on it today. Anyway, two local hospitals have walk-in clinics (regular co-pay, instead of ER), but he probably won't be back in time for either of those today, so we'll have to go to the ER. The local clinics close early or are not open on Sundays. I don't think he qualifies for reduced cost care because he is insured. We'll see what he wants to do.
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  5. #2645
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    I had a problem with the CGI of the Wargs and the Pale Orc - it was just distractingly plasticy bad. Otherwise I really enjoyed it - especially Bilbo. Martin Freeman was GREAT. I think more than anything it might need to be taken in as a whole 3 films to fully appreciate it. I guess we'll find out. Thorin was good too - I think his dark Guy of Gisborne was the only good thing from that version of Robin Hood (although the Sheriff was decent). I couldn't even get halfway through the first season - Robin and Marian bugged me.
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  6. #2646
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    Gisborne gets REALLY emo in the 3rd season. Even worse than before. But yeah, he's the only thing that keeps me going back. There was definitely too much CGI in The Hobbit, especially when you compare it to the way they worked in puppetry and miniature sets into the LOTR trilogy, but I imagine they'd have a difficult time telling the story without it. Unless they had access to a cast of hundreds like they did before, and goblins were less deformed looking. I do think that the adaptations made were mostly fitting, since the book would not translate well directly to film.
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  7. #2647
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    Agh, I realized pretty quickly that Boyfriend's foot means we cannot go rock climbing. There's a diner he wants to check out, so we could go there for the meal part of the date, but I'd still like to figure out something for us to do. Damn.
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  8. #2648
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    It's in the driveway! To do list: timing (it's a little bit off), tires (one of the fronts has a slow leak, I have replacements, but only one set of rims, and I need at least two winter tires), inspection, doors (need to fix the door popping mechanism so I don't have to mess with them during inspection), not necessarily (but probably) in that order. The weird texture on the car is frozen rain/slush. I saw some cars with snow on them this morning, but there was none at my apartment. Some of the trees are a bit iced over. The back stairs are treacherous. Last year, I slipped and landed hard on my ass walking down them and was sore for a week. I had a two-handed grip on the railing this morning.

    Boyfriend broke his foot by vaulting over me, out of bed, and smacking the outside of his right foot on the side-rail of the bed. Fifth metatarsal. It's broken at the end of the long bone, closer to the toe, but not one of the toe bones. I think there was another term they used to specify the type of break or location, but I forget (I only remember that they said it is not a fracture). I dropped off his prescription for Percocet at the pharmacy this morning. He is on crutches and using a post-op boot until he can see a foot doctor. They said he probably won't need surgery, as long as he stays off of it for now. We were in the ER for maybe 90 minutes, which is pretty quick in our past experiences of urgent care (I've been to the ER twice with him now, we've both gone to the walk-in clinic together a few times). Elevate, take pain meds every 4-6 hours as needed, ice for swelling, etc.

    Food: The rest of yesterday was good food-wise (the acne that cropped up is not any worse, at least). I ate the whole spaghetti squash. I took 1/2 a shot of apple cider vinegar in water twice during the day over the weekend and the heartburn is barely noticeable now. I had 3 eggs scrambled in ghee this morning (I forgot to mention, I made some a while back out of local butter, it smells STRONGLY of cheese). I'm nearly out of sardines for lunch. I want to swing by Trader Joe's tonight for chicken & stock veggies. A slow-cooked chicken one night and chicken soup from the stock the next sounds like a good couple of healing meals.

    Sleep: Right, so I had a really hard time falling asleep because we were out until almost 11:30, and I didn't take my second dose of 5-HTP till then. I know I was still up at 12:30. Boyfriend came to bed and when I gave up and was going to move to the other room, he zombied over there instead. My feet were swelling from being overheated and I was not comfortable with him clinging to me when I was already having a hard time falling asleep. I felt like a jerk, but he made the choice to move, I didn't ask him to.

    Doc: I know I said I was going to call the doctor today, but now I don't know. I have no idea what got me to be able to reduce the Vitamin C dose a few weeks ago. It was so sudden. I feel like it must be hormone related, since I increased Vitex at that time. I also increased the anti-fungals, but I'm only taking the Pau D'Arco now and the Vitamin C dose is the same. I feel like if there were tests the doctor was willing and able to do, he would've done them by now. What is going on an extended course of strong antibiotics makes it worse?

    Supplements: Same ol', same ol'. Still keeping off Tyrosine MWF. We'll see how that goes this week without the Maca Root and go from there. Keeping 5-HTP at 250mg for now.

    Bah. Laundry night. I don't feel like dealing with it today.
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  9. #2649
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    Awwww yeeaaahhhh

    End of year meeting was all positive. The company is doing really well. Over half of the current employees were hired within the past two years! Lots of growth. We all get a $250 bonus. Of course, that'll look like much less after taxes, but yay! Extra monies! I also just remembered that my paychecks will increase by $30 in a couple of weeks because I didn't sign up for an FSA for 213. Aawwwweeesome.
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  10. #2650
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    wow........ you've had a busy weekend! Emotionally charged and everything.

    Glad boyfriends foot will be okay - I don't know how he managed to hold off going to the doctor until the end of the day - he must really have a high tolerance for pain! I broke my ankle a couple years ago - I hurt pretty bad! It sounds like you have a very healthy attitude about boyfriend and his need to handle his own affairs. I'm referring to the comment "I'm not his keeper". Thats a good place to be. Too many women try to "mother" their men - and that makes for a messy relationship in the long run.

    I have probably asked you this before........... have you had your thyroid checked? If you're slightly hyperthyroid it could be causing the bowel issues, and the needing to gain a little weight issues, and even some of the other stuff you're dealing with - the anxiety and stuff. I was slightly hypothyroid....... and just a tiny dose of Armour has cured my 5 year battle with daily diarrhea. It might be worth checking with doc????

    Yeah for the extra money!
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