Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change? page 264

[jenn26point2]

Persistence, I guess, is the key. Persistence and constant adjustments.

[tomi]

I used to be meticulous at budgeting - not so much anymore. Its a good thing to do when you're young so you get used to the feel of whats coming in and whats going out.

Its a good thing about the therapy slowing down! means real lasting healing is taking place.

[Pebbles67]

This was too good to resist. I hope you don't mind.

I would like to introduce you to your 3rd Great Grandfather - James Bryant Hoover 1823-1901. Alva Thornbrugh's Maternal Great Grandfather. He was a veteran of the Mexican War and the Civil War. Cool Pic!

[namelesswonder]

That is awesome! Hoover is a familiar name to me. I think I remember it from filling out a family tree in elementary school or middle school. Thanks, P! I think James' mom might've been Cherokee. I'm pretty sure the Native American ancestry was from my maternal grandfather's side, about that far back.

A Christmas Perspective: It’s very Polish, ritualistic, and sometimes a little sad… « primalpat
This made me tear-up a bit. Primal Pat is da bomb.

Sleep: Started to feel sick while making dinner last night. Raging migraine & nausea, no energy. Boyfriend insisted I go to bed (via text) so I was showered & bundled up by 9:30. I think I was out by 10. I had an easier time of quelling my thoughts last night. I woke up again when Boyfriend came to bed, but he left after a little while to sleep in the other room because I was not comfortable. He's not good at NOT snuggling (such a squirmer), even if it's preventing me from falling asleep, so he had to move. What a sweetheart. I snoozed the alarm until 7AM because it was FREEZING outside of the blankets. Still got to work on time, but I'd rather get up earlier to get to work earlier.

Food: Dinner was sausages, peppers, & onions. The onions were perfect. I haven't had that combo in quite a while. Since I was feeling pretty sick last night, I didn't go out for groceries. If I can't find spaghetti squash at Shaw's tonight, I'll get some rice pasta instead. What color bell pepper should I use in the sauce (red, green, orange, yellow)? I've got my grocery list on the Out of Milk app, should be able to get everything on my way home. I'll cook up the wheat pasta for Boyfriend & friend when they're on their way home so it's fresh. Ah, right. I had some ice cream last night. Boyfriend picked it up a couple nights ago when the sweet tooth was calling him. I was going to eat the rest of my chocolate chips but he used them in cookie dough (hasn't baked it yet). The ice cream was Edy's. It was gross. I don't think I had very much (ate out of the carton). Haagen-Dazs or even Ben & Jerry's is much better. My stomach was a bit bloated & very loud after that. I wonder if straight milk or yogurt would bother me. I don't mind not eating dairy, but it would be nice to have from time to time. I'll invest in some digestive enzymes for dairy at some point.

Body: Still stretching, still seems to be helping straighten out my hips/leg. Heart burn is persistent, but light. There is still pressure in my head this morning, but not as much. If I press on my cheek bones, it doesn't hurt, so it's not a sinus infection.

Supplements: Out of oil of oregano now. Still keeping up with the neti pot every morning. I think it helps with the sneezing and overall congestion, but it's hard to be sure. I don't feel like stopping, lest I have to go through an adjustment period again. For the heart burn, I put a splash of ACV in my morning Vitamin C dose. It tasted godawful together and only helped the heartburn for about 30 minutes. I guess I will put in a Vitacost order (more 5-HTP and some HCL with Pepsin) today.

Brain: Doing okay. I'd venture so far as to say "good". I'm going to talk to my therapist about cutting back to every other week at today's session.

Weekend: Saturday, Boyfriend works. I need to get in touch with our friend, C, about seeing The Hobbit Saturday night. Boyfriend wants to see 3D (I don't), so we'll see what C says. Sunday, my sister's ex said the Mustang needs to be out of the garage this weekend. We can leave it in the lot there, so if it's not running, we can just roll it out. I really hope it will be running so we can have a back-up car already! The gas mileage has been really terrible on the Civic lately, it so badly needs to get in for some work. I don't have any plans for during the day over the weekend, so I'll probably work on Boyfriend's Christmas present and get the applesauce wrapped up. I also need to find blank holiday cards somewhere (where should I look?) & pick up stamps. I still need to get window film.

Next week: Holy crap. Next week is the week before Christmas. On Monday, I find out how much/if we're getting an end-of-year bonus. Unless it's needed for something really urgent, I am putting it towards the tattoo I wanted to get in January. I need to call the rock climbing place STILL to see when will be the best time for us to go. Either the night of the 22nd or morning of the 23rd.

[namelesswonder]

-I feel like I have graduated in therapy. Starting with the 21st, I'll take every other week off from therapy. I almost cried again during today's session (cried last week too), feeling really proud of myself for my progress this year. It's an unfamiliar feeling, being able to rely on yourself, emotionally.

-I decided to close my Yahoo group. I'm drafting up an email to the group in my head, will follow-up with other group moderators to notify them of potential membership requests (with the hope that they'll approve the memberships immediately), plan to notify the group within the next week or so, with closure (no new posts allowed) on February 1st, and deletion on March 1st. That gives everyone some time to sift through the archives, if they want. I might. My therapist reminded me that I don't have to feel okay even if I know I'm making the right decision. It's okay to be upset, and still make the decision that will get me closure.

-This ancestry stuff is AWESOME. Maybe I could put my end of year bonus towards a 6-month global membership to Ancestry.com instead. It would be cool to see how far back I could go with my family records and see who I have ties to. I didn't realize my mom's side of the family was so German! I thought there was some Scotch in there, but I'm not seeing any. Thanks again, P! I caved and signed up for the 14-day trial.

[Finnegans Wake]

Excellent stuff, NW. You really are moving in a good direction in many ways. I'd like to think that I was a big part of that and that there will be a bottle of 12-year-old Macallan on my doorstep Christmas eve...

My uncle was big into genealogy back before the Interwebs and all, meaning he had to take time to go through the state library microfiche and dusty old crap like that. I'd like to go back and update it, since we've had the usual comings and goings, as it were. (Hard to believe this will be my first Christmas with no living grandparents...) He traced us back to Germany, coming to the US in 1724 IIRC.

I did some preliminary stuff on my father's side (surprised no one ever did this), and was really amazed. If I am correct, they came over from a region in Germany close to the maternal relatives, but about 20 years earlier, and both of them followed pretty much the same path (entering into Philadelphia, migrating to central PA's Lancaster and Dauphin counties). Even just using freebie stuff I was able to get a good idea of my forebears on the father's side going back to 1500s Germany and Switzerland.

I'd like to confirm and really plot out the tree, get as much story as I can, and then put it into a bound form to distribute to all my slacker relatives (w/ a DVD).

One thing that really stood out was how hardy my forebears were. You'd see a lot of very early death (disease, accidents), but a surprising number of relatives who lived into their 70s and 80s, even back in the 1700s and 1800s. One criticism of Primal is that people eating the way they did didn't develop heart disease, cancer, diabetes, etc. because the average lifespan was only 40- or 50-something. Yes, the average was. But if you got past disease and accidents and lived your natural lifespan, apparently it was possible to live long without diseases of civilization! And the two relatives I lost this year were 95 and 97, and I have someone 104 on my paternal GM's side.

Should be noted that while there were doctors, teachers, and politicians, probably the occupation of the vast majority involved farming. So I would imagine that they ate pretty close to Primally: livestock, subsistence crops, and probably corn among the grains would have been favored in this area, although possibly some einkorn wheat. Will have to see what I can dig up there, would love to incorporate diet and disease data into all of this.

[namelesswonder]

Looks like P did most of the legwork for me. I can see the passenger list from the ship that my maternal grandma and her parents came over on in 1950, but there are no leads from there. I'll have to ask my dad about any other family of his that came over. My mom's side goes back as far as the mid-1700s so far (but it looks like there are more leads for her maiden name, still!), back in Germany. TONS of children on that side.

I haven't looked into siblings yet, but it looks like they had a LOT of kids back then. I don't see professions anywhere, just marriage, birth, & death.

Agreed on reasons for death. Bothers me when people complain about the lifespan of the average "caveman". Yeah, sorry, they didn't use moldy bread for infections back then, so lots of people died.

My mom's side has been in the midwest for quite a while. Looks like some were on the East Coast earlier though.

[naiadknight]

On my father's father's side, it's been traced back to the Plantagenets and King Richard III, where royal geneology takes over. On the other side, very little has been traced. On Mom's side, my grandmother's geneology trail dies in Norway 6 generations back because of the way they did surnames back then, or dies in the Oklahoma backwoods. On my grandfather's side, my great grandmother was adopted, and we have no clue who her birth parents were because it may not have been an official adoption.

[Finnegans Wake]

Did you see that they think they may have found the remains of Richard III buried under a parking lot?

[cori93437]

Both sides of my family have sort of shockingly unblended lineage for American families.

Father's side is all Scot from both father and mother, 'cept for a bit of Cherokee.
Mother's side is all German. All German.

I tend to prefer the German side... it speaks to me.
But that is probably just because they held on to their cultural traditions more and felt less homogeneously WASP-y American I suppose.