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Thread: Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change? page 262

  1. #2611
    namelesswonder's Avatar
    namelesswonder is offline Senior Member
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    No passing out! Christmas tree to look at!

    Nameless Wonders: Oh, Christmas Tree - 2012

    For you guys, really. I was just going to put this up here, but I realized it would make a good blog post.

    I'm focusing on hydrating for the rest of the day. Headache has been intermittent.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
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  2. #2612
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    My head feels like I've been straining. The pressure keeps staying there. I didn't use the neti pot today (I will tonight after my haircut). Wonder what that's about. Feels like blood pressure, at a guess. Weird/concerning.

    I went to the hardware store and craft store, but forgot about the window stuff.

    Question: Should I etch the glass or paint it? I'm going to stencil on a robot (or something, maybe more, maybe initials?) for Boyfriend's Christmas present. Either one will look cool and I bought the stuff to do either. Thinking about it, decorating 1 gallon-size jar is a great gift, plus the other jars (undecorated). I may still get him a t-shirt. I'm undecided.

    For reference: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread72857.html
    http://fastpaleo.com/slow-cooker-chili/
    Ground beef or stew?
    Last edited by namelesswonder; 12-11-2012 at 05:45 PM.
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  3. #2613
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    Fuck. Woke up feeling worse today. Exhausted. Goodbye PTO.
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  4. #2614
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    Quote Originally Posted by namelesswonder View Post
    Ground beef or stew?
    Stew or a combination. Though that is because I do not like the texture of sauces/stews/soups where all the meat is ground.

  5. #2615
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    Sorry you are feeling ill. I think the etching sounds cool.
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  6. #2616
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    I hope you feel better!!!! When you said blood pressure I thought maybe it was sinus/cold related.

    I love that you are crafty. I am planning on doing some crafts when I take a few days off at Christmas. I think I will make little notecards, so I need to go and get some paper. Maybe I should look around on pinterest.

  7. #2617
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    So, yes, home again today. Feeling crummy physically and mentally. Boyfriend dragged me out of bed, but I would've been content to stay there for several more hours.

    Time to eat and veg in front of the TV. Fortunately, I have leftovers from last night so I won't binge on chocolate chips again.
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  8. #2618
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    Thinking about ends.

    No, not that kind. Don't worry. I could use some thoughts if you guys have any insight or reactions to this. Boyfriend is very, "Do what you want" about these kinds of things, but I may poll him on it later.

    In 2003, I began cutting. In early 2004, after actively participating in several other Yahoo groups on depression and self-injury, I decided to make my own, with the focus on being for teens. "Teens with self-injury" was born. It's never had more than maybe 150 members, which, for people familiar with Yahoo groups, is a fairly low population. It's never had more than maybe 10 active members participating in a discussion at one time (over a few months). And over the years, activity has declined greatly. I think this is mostly due to support networks shifting to other locations. Message boards and tumblr are more popular these days, I'm sure, and I know if I was looking for a support network now, I'd look for a forum before a Yahoo group first.

    The group has been with me through a lot. I'm sure I wrote there a lot in high school. I'm sure I wrote in when I decided to quit in 2006, and then again when I slipped up in 2007 and 2008. I know I've checked in over the years, reporting my success at another year or day or hour gone by "clean". I wrote it a bit more this year than I probably have in a while, but now I really feel in my core that I don't need it. I grew out of the group, and now it's almost 9 years old. It's part of my adolescence that I want to put to rest, but I'm not the only one depending on it now. I wrote a long post and sent it to the group after discussing with my one moderator (someone I've met in person a few times over the years, she's an art therapist and a good friend now). I asked who was out there, how they felt about me potentially closing the group. Some of the "regulars" from my college years (who are the only active members that have stuck around for the past 5 or 6 years now) chimed in, said they'd be happy to take over if I want. They also said they felt like no matter what, having the group to return to was important to them, and they'd rather I didn't close it (but understood if I do).

    I'm not sure what to do with this group. I'm afraid of these girls and women feeling abandoned and that it would be my fault. I also feel that I need to be done with it, but as long as it exists, even if I pass it over to someone else to manage (really nothing required there except respond to any new posts, which there have not many of this year), I will feel responsible for it. I looked into other Yahoo groups, in case I do close it, so I could pass information on to the other members about active communities that look supportive. I found many that were just overridden with spam and abandoned, but I found a few that are active and look good. None of them have a focus like mine though, as a group for teens. Most, if not all of us, are teenagers anymore. Some weren't even when they joined (early-mid 20's, probably). We once had a granny join to seek help for her granddaughter, but she ended up flipping out on us, seemingly out of the blue, and I was forced to ban her for attacking other members.

    Anyway. I really wanted to close the group in January. I've given it a couple of months now. There's been no more activity since the responses to my post. I don't think I could close it, in good conscience, if I have any lingering doubts about the security of the members, and them having somewhere to go to where they'd be welcomed. I know it would not be the same, since they are not familiar with the members of other groups, but I feel like I need to close it for me. I don't know if I should put their needs before my own.
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  9. #2619
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    Briefly: If it might still help someone else, I say relinquish control. If you do that, you have to walk away from it, period. If you can't do that, then could you take down the content and forward users to other links?

    Good for you, either way. We move on. We reinvent ourselves.

  10. #2620
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    Quote Originally Posted by Finnegans Wake View Post
    Briefly: If it might still help someone else, I say relinquish control. If you do that, you have to walk away from it, period. If you can't do that, then could you take down the content and forward users to other links?

    Good for you, either way. We move on. We reinvent ourselves.
    I agree with FW. Relinquish control and walk away. Keep it alive for others who may need it, but walk away for yourself.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
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