Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change? page 230

[jenn26point2]

Good story! Mysterious.

[namelesswonder]

Thanks for checking in! I don't know if I'll expand on the story, but it felt good to write it. I like Baba Yaga.

Good things about my brain lately: writing inspiration (needed to write so badly that I could not sleep! that's rare), tattoo ideas, feeling crafty (in primal baking kind of way), feeling fairly attractive on a regular basis.

Bad things about my brain lately: Focus is low, anxiety is middling, motivation is low, the usual off-and-on about hating/loving my hair.

It's a weird mix.

[WarlordBlade]

Kind of interesting - read your story about Baba Yaga and I was just finishing a book in the Iron Druid series that included Perun - the Russian Thunder God that I hadn't really heard of before! Made me realize while I do know some Russian folklore and fairy tales - I don't know a ton about Russian Mythology! So now I'm trying to find out more.

Also as a thought about the zenhabits article you put on FB - I think the answer to problems 4 and 5 is the same as number 1. Just do it! I've been doing Brazilian Jujitsu recently and I realized I was really anxious and nervous about 'rolling' which is basically just wrasslin' and trying to use the techniques you learn. I knew I was going to lose - so I didn't want to even try and be laughed at (4) or I wouldn't keep up (5) but in the end - just DO it. Pretty much everybody else feels that way too - and WOW it feels great to lose EVERY SINGLE TIME and realize that I'm lasting just that much longer each time I just do it.

So anyways - not sure that's useful or anything... but there you have it!

Funny that we're both on Deviantart too... I haven't done anything in too long

[namelesswonder]

Yeah, me too. I was just thinking recently I should close my account. It still serves a purpose though!

Let me know if you find good books on Russian mythos. I'm interested.

[namelesswonder]

Dammit. Pretty fucking depressed. Not chopping up carrots for the bone broth because I'm afraid to hold a knife. Wanted to get drunk, but I can't get the wine open (the corkscrew on the swiss army knife is impossible to use). I finished off the flourless chocolate cake and ate two cookies. That's a lot of sugar. My head is killing me. Maybe I'll take the rest of the 5-HTP soon and try to sleep early.

[geostump]

Here's to hoping you feel better soon. I used to get that way when my husband traveled for his job. Sleep was the only thing that helped.

[Greg0ory]

Good luck and don't ever give up the battle because bad breath is always better than no breath at all.

[jenn26point2]

Sorry you're feeling so down. I hope you feel better soon.

[namelesswonder]

You are so right, Greg0ory.

Nameless Wonders: Voting experience: take 2
I made the mistake of posting in a political thread in O&E. Ah well, I'm fine with not having the last word. I wasn't in a good head-space yesterday.

I realize that I am not going to start to recover emotionally at all until I cut the sugar, so last night was a bit of a setback. Once again, my sugar sources are gone so I should be able to reset from here. I don't feel guilty about it. I wasn't in control. I only ate a mug cake this morning (they're so easy to half-ass, I don't even really measure anymore), I was too excited to eat. I wanted coffee when I got to work, not because I'm tired (though I am), but because I wanted something warm and cozy to suit my mood. There's only light roast decaf though, which isn't worth it to me, so I'll have my last bag of Pau D'arco in a bit. I should order more, and I got another $10 for Vitacost, so I guess I can place that! It would actually cost the same to get capsules, and that would be more servings... Hmm. I'll wait and decide later. Not urgent. [edit before posting: found some decaf French Vanilla downstairs, mmmmm]

I just signed up for next year's insurance. I'm not going to do an FSA again. That'll be $30 more per paycheck. Maybe I'll spend money on doctors, but I'd rather just spend out of pocket and figure it out from there. I blew most of my FSA balance this year on the allergy testing, so while I would probably not spend it as fast next year, I'd still rather have the money up front. I don't apply this logic to taxes, though. I don't trust myself THAT much. I feel very fortunate that I only pay $4.93 for insurance every paycheck, and that's for vision.

My crock pot chicken was bland, but tasty. I've got the bone broth going since last night. I forgot to add vinegar, so I might take the offal out (after work snack!) and let the bones cook for another night with vinegar added. It smells great! The chicken will last us for a few more nights/lunches, at least. I think I will start slow cooking more often, as roast meat is often pretty cheap per lb.

Boyfriend's work schedule is 12PM-8PM today, so I'm looking forward to seeing him tonight. I left him a little love note on his computer last night. I woke up when he got home and he thanked me for it, but I didn't get the goodnight kiss he promised! I'll take it from his hide later [[cracks whip]].

[jenn26point2]

Glad to see you're feeling a little better today. Brad wanted to increase our FSA this year, but I told him I didn't think it was necessary. Last year we did $1,000, and we burned through it by August, but I was also spending $80 a month on prescriptions, plus the deductibles for all my doctor's appointments (I have primary insurance through my employer and have secondary through Brad's, so copays aren't usually an issue - just deductibles). Since I won't be paying that this year, I told him to leave it at $1,000. It'll go further next year without me spending $80 a month.

I've GOT to get my sugar under control! I know it's affecting my mood.