Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change? page 224

[Finnegans Wake]

The other day I lumped the food industry into the same category as politicians... My mom and I were discussing gluten-free and I told her there are more than 100 ingredients that are put into foods that are gluten containing ingredients but no where on the label will the ingredient "gluten" be listed (she was looking for the word "gluten"). I told her that the food industry is as crooked as Washington, and quite honestly, it angers me.

Good point.

Eisenhower warned of the military-industrial complex and its growing power, but it seems to me that corporate influence in general runs the show. I liked Obama in 2008 and will vote for him again because Romney is another W. in waiting, but I have plenty of grumbles about O's administration: the influence of Wall St., the influence of Monsanto and other Big Ag heavies, downstream repercussions of drone use, continuance of the Patriot Act, etc. It would be great if a strong third party could emerge that wasn't headed by or supported by whackjobs, to shake up the gridlock and partisanship and to bring some new perspectives to the issues; that ain't happening soon.

A lot of people consider themselves fiscally conservative, socially liberal/libertarian, and prefer moderation to extremism. Are we really being represented? Or do we have to avoid the worst in politics and effect change via the marketplace? And how do you "vote" against Big Oil, for instance?

"Another factor in maintaining balance involves the element of time. As we peer into society's future, we -- you and I, and our government -- must avoid the impulse to live only for today, plundering, for our own ease and convenience, the precious resources of tomorrow." -- Eisenhower, in the military-industrial speech. He'd be mortified by today's politics.

The more I think about politics, the more I want to get off the grid. The food grid, the oil grid, the pharma grid, the Internet, all of it.

[naiadknight]

Geek and I have not quite joked about buying a chunk of West TX ranchland and going native, especially with the way politics are gonig right now. It's actually one of the things we're planning on: Get house, cars, and student loans paid off, save up the cash, and buy the land outright. I design the house, and we do the research we need to get the ranch as close to self sufficient as possible, including enough livestock to keep the herds and flocks going without inbreeding for a while.

[namelesswonder]

The more I think about politics, the more I want to get off the grid. The food grid, the oil grid, the pharma grid, the Internet, all of it.

Yes, yes, yes! It's such a nice (if unlikely) dream. I work with computers and I do love it, most of the time, but it's the teaching people about something I know that I really enjoy. That just happens to be computers. Something to think about, in case a career change ever seems likely.

You've also reminded me that I really want to read more about the presidents of the 20th century. I imagine that even biographies will be biased, but it's somewhere to start. My dad would probably be down to get me some as Christmas gifts, as he likes to give books (I have a few books on my shelf that have notes from my parents written on the inside of the cover, with the year they were given).

[Finnegans Wake]

A long and depressing read, but one that reveals a lot about our presidents from Ike onward, is Legacy of Ashes about the CIA. Aside from the intel to get bin Laden, the CIA has effed up ... pretty much everything it's been involved in. And the portraits of most presidents are far from flattering. CIA is sort of carried along the political swells of each new administration, and it's amazing how we've survived this long as a country, with such powerful weapons and such woeful intelligence. The two presidents who come off least negatively were Ike and, perhaps surprisingly, Carter.

[jenn26point2]

The more I think about politics, the more I want to get off the grid. The food grid, the oil grid, the pharma grid, the Internet, all of it.

THIS! Yes!! So many times I have thought about this... buy a wind turbine, drive a sandpoint for water, have a field full of cows and pigs and chickens, grow my own veggies, etc, etc, etc...

I saw one of those shows about Survivalism and one couple converted their swimming pool into a fishing pond where they raised fish for their dinners, had their own cows, grew their own veggies, etc. It seemed very extremist to me when I saw it, but now it seems so ideal! No crap in my food, no creditors, etc. Just me, living for me and my family.

Of course, we owe WAY to much to ever see that happen in the next 20 years... but someday, maybe.

[WaylandC]

I saw one of those shows about Survivalism...

Doomsday Preppers

[namelesswonder]

Kinda TMI: We're on high alert for shark week. I don't know how the dong quai/vitex will affect my cycle, or if it would be noticeable yet. I'm following quelsen's advice on Vitamin C for constipation, which is to bump it up until loose stools are achieved, then back off by 500mg. The doc had told me to back off by 1/3 of the dose, but that wasn't working. I started dosing after work yesterday and increased the dose twice. It was effective this morning. Just a tad bit too much, I think, so hopefully backing off by 500mg will be the ticket! I'll be trying 5.75 grams (roughly) later this morning (he said every 2 hrs, I think, doc said every 4 hrs). I'm hoping that this is the right dose so I can go back to the doctor with more information.

I still really want to get more testing done, or anything that can help pin point exactly what the hell is going on. Why the hell would my body need this much Vitamin C?!

Mood/brain: No PMS this past week, as far as I can recall. I got to work without feeling anxious about the trip at all, just a little nervous about some work things. I realized that I know the anxiety is at a tolerable or good level because I'm not worrying about my hair! I re-dyed it last night with a new color (Manic Panic Wild Rose). More red is definitely what the pink needed to be closer to the shade I want. It's not exactly what I had in mind, but I think it'll fade to a better color. Then I realized that I'd totally be happy with purple too, and I even have purple under the cabinet right now. Basically, I'm okay with not being ever settled with my color or cut. I could change either and I'd be happy with it because I can always change it again later. I wish I could feel that comfortable about so many other things in my life, like "what I want to do".


So not color accurate, this appears very red-orange, but it's definitely more of a red-pink. I will be sure to get a nice photo of me all dressed up for the wedding in good lighting, with my camera! It looks so much longer when it's clean hehe. I want to get to Newbury Comics before the location nearest to me closes on Sunday (boooo) so I can take advantage of the marked-down hair-dye. I wonder if they have any left at this point! I'd probably pick up some turquoise, purple, and pinks, to mix/have in stock.

Energy: I messed up the timing of my 5-HTP doses two nights ago and last night, so despite getting enough sleep, I was/am exhausted. I woke up fine, but now that I'm at work, I'm ready to sleep at my desk. No good! I need to have my doses spaced apart by a couple of hours. I guess I'll take my first dose tonight with a snack before we leave for dinner, and the second when we get back. I can sleep in a little tomorrow if I need it since my (gut doc) appointment isn't till 11:15. Being this tired is affecting my posture something fierce, so I'm making a huge conscious effort to keep my shoulders back today so I don't end up sore by the end of the day again.

Food: Pork and broccoli last night. I made these cookies. I think I liked the batter more than the baked result, they are very toasted-almond-y. I think they could be better with some tweaking. Maybe more pumpkin? I actually had to bake them twice. They were taking longer than 10-12 minutes last night and I wanted to go to bed, so I left them on the baking sheet on the counter and put them back in for 5-7 minutes this morning. Using almond flour vs. almond meal might yield the kind of cookie I thought they'd be. I also picked up some other things last night, so I might try making almond butter cookies at some point. I'm going to prep the chicken I bought when I get home tonight so that I can turn it on overnight. I'll shred the chicken tomorrow morning and leave the bone broth going all day Friday. I had to swipe some carrots and onions from my mom last night when I went to get some maple syrup. I remembered everything on my lists, except those two things! Granted, they weren't actually on my list, so that's why I forgot.

Oh and I did end up buying some goat milk yogurt. I've never had goat milk before, but it was definitely not like cow's milk. I ate it with breakfast (eggs) this morning. So far, nothing that feels like terrible gas pain like I was getting with regular yogurt. I decided I'd just eat the yogurt instead of taking a dose of probiotics (which I'm supposed to be doing 3x weekly and have been really slacking on) today.

BTW, my cast iron pans are doing much better since I stopped washing them. If they get really intolerable, I'll put a little oil in and warm them, then pour a bunch of sea salt in to scrub with. I don't do it too often though, no more than once a week.

[namelesswonder]

Mix a banana, a heaping spoonful of almond butter and an egg until it's all mashed and creamy. Pour into a coffee cup. Microwave for 2 minutes. Let it cool a bit because it'll be pretty hot. Either eat it with a spoon or dump it out of the cup and slice it. Add cocoa powder for a chocolate mug cake. Without chocolate it tastes like banana bread.

Posted by SBHikes in another thread. Potential after work snack, but sub pumpkin puree for banana (because I only needed 2 tablespoons for the cookies, so I have the rest of the can). Or I could make a smoothie, since I got more coconut milk.

[jenn26point2]

I'm not a pumpkin fan... unless it's pumpkin bars with cream cheese frosting.

I'm also not a coffee fan, unless it's the instant powdered cappuccino crap you get at a gas station. I don't even own a coffee maker...

I do, however, have a coffee mug!!

[namelesswonder]

Coffee intrigues me. I remember smelling my mom's coffee in the morning, growing up. I love the smell of it. It kind of makes me think of wine, in the way the flavors can be interpreted. But I don't need/like the caffeination so I only have decaf, and usually only with something added (sweetener or cream).

I got my Google Adsense payout! Buuuttt I overspent this month. I haven't checked/updated my spreadsheet or my account in about 10 days. It was relieving, but a bit of a bummer to come back to money I can't spend. I'll need it for more groceries. I mostly overspent by ordering out a couple of times and going to the faire last weekend, plus a couple of doctor's appointments/a medical bill. Groceries will be a bit higher this month than in the past since I was treating myself to things a bit more, but still at a manageable amount. I knew I was going to overspend this month, so I've got no one to blame but myself, but I needed a break. I still need to talk to Boyfriend's dad about the car parts needed. I have a bad feeling I am never going to get around to dealing with that car. I feel myself wanting to avoid dealing with at all costs. I really want the car to be fixed, I just don't want to fix it. It reminds me too much of all the planning and frustrating I had to deal with when I had the bug.

The good news is that I'm suddenly getting a lot more traffic on the blog, so I might get another payout within the next few months (instead of 2 years haha). I'm keeping an eye on my stats to see what posts people hit up the most (coconut oil for healing a tattoo was a popular one, though it ended up not being very effective) and where most of my clicks come from. Surprisingly, a lot of people seem to follow through my comments on Mark's posts. I'll probably do a "What I wore" post after the wedding. No ideas for a full post today.