Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change? page 215

[namelesswonder]

I'm sure I look like a puppy and that it's not alluring at all

[namelesswonder]

It's been a fairly busy day for me. Things are coming to a close and before I vamoose for the weekend, I just wanted to thank you all for showing your support. I really appreciate the advice, messages, love, thoughts, and...just everything. It's really nice to suddenly feel overwhelmingly valued (I cried at work reading your messages!) when you are in the middle of a really bad spot.

Things are already shaping up and I am so grateful for the support I have here.

[naiadknight]

Tasha- I help as much as I can, no matter how hard it is for me. It's part of an agreement I made with myself when I started crawling out of my own pit. If I'm past that section, and I have the ability to help someone it, then I help. If I'm still there, or they're in a section I never reached, I offer support. I help out of love, and respect. I help because we're all in this together, regardless of how alone one person may feel.
I'm glad things are shaping up and you're feeling better.

[namelesswonder]

Blargle blargle blargle

Just popping in to set the record straight: until my gut is sorted out, I cannot drink alcohol. We had friends over and got drunk last night. It was fun, but the hangover, yeast infection, and depression I woke up with was NOT worth it. I felt slightly recovered after finally getting out of bed (several hours after letting an extra-strength Tylenol take hold), but still off today. Some bad thoughts, but not feeling dangerous.

This week, I need to get bloodwork done to see how my progesterone levels are. I'm sort of hoping they're messed up so that I can have an answer to the ridiculous PMS issues. I may have messed up my chances, however, since I've been taking Dong Quai for the past few weeks, and that's supposed to help you produce more. Starting Thursday, I'll be keeping an eye out for more mood swings. Then again, if my levels look okay and I don't end up with ridiculous PMS, I'll know the Dong Quai is the answer.

TMI: 4g of Vit C every 4 hours is too much. 3g of Vit C every 4 hours does nothing. Do I REALLY need to take 3.5? This fine tuning is such a bitch. Also, I think the Pau D'Arco tea is helping with the YI I developed (feeling much better than I did this morning, but still itchy), but I'll know better tomorrow. I'm on my third cup of the day, shooting for 4 daily for at least the first week.

[namelesswonder]

I fought sleep last night. I had some anxiety about starting a new week (Sunday night anxiety is very common with me) and stayed up until at least 11:30. Then I woke up around 6 to the cat yowling. Poor Boyfriend woke in a daze to see if I was okay after my shower. He never realized how early I get up for work! This time next month, he might be getting up even earlier than me. It's a good thing the raiding fell through in WoW, he's going to need the sleep, especially if he wants to put in lots of overtime.

It'd be nice if he could earn enough money to pay off his more urgent debts (medical bills from PT last Fall, and the shoulder surgery, still), get his car fixed (broken engine mount, transmission fluid needs changing, battery needs replacing), and then set aside some for just in case. It's relieving to think that maybe some of the monetary responsibilities could shift to him, like groceries (entirely, not just split evenly), so that I could focus on making my own savings, and we'd be safe if this job doesn't work out for longer than one season, rent-wise. No other jobs he's been applying to have panned out so far, and he's been to a couple of interviews.

On the car front, Boyfriend's dad says the part needed (header gasket) would be about $100 and he would help us do the work. And then it's ours (mine? probably? because my preferred insurance company would cover more for less $ than USAA). The problems are these: if the car is currently registered/still has plates, we can get it towed somewhere to do the work (and it shouldn't take more than a day), but that requires finding a garage to take it to, and if it's not insured, we probably can't get it towed for free. Or I just need to get a AAA membership, which would also get me an insurance discount for when I insure the vehicle under my name, but that would ALSO require doing the paperwork before we fix the car. And all of this requires that we find the time to do it, too. We probably can't take it to the local airfield (has a hobby shop that you can rent a stall out for $3/hr, plus tools access) because I don't think we could tow it there, and Boyfriend's sister would have to stay with us for as long as it took, as she's the only family member with an active military ID now.

Anyway, so yeah, I'm pretty sure I want to go ahead and get this car. Our land lady said it would be okay for us to have a second car in the driveway, and that she's going to get their garage doors fixed soon so it'll be easier to fit all 4.

Ah yes, and tickets for PAX East are already available for next March. The 3-day passes sold out in 24 hours. So many things that I want to spend money on this month. Gr. I'm worried that waiting will result in Saturday being sold out! My mom offered to pitch in towards minimalist shoes or new boots, I just need to pick what I want and she'll write me a check (I think she's willing to pitch in about $50). That makes me want to run out and try on Pace Gloves ASAP!

Primal stuff:

I'm still having appetite issues. I wasn't really hungry at all yesterday, but was recovering from the hangover. I made chicken with roasted brussel sprouts (with bits of bacon) for dinner and ate a TON of the sprouts. They were great with some balsamic vinegar drizzled on, but could've used more pepper (ran out). I've got a chicken leg quarter with leftover sprouts for lunch today. I hope I'm hungry for it! Breakfast was a tin of sardines. I found that BJ's carries packs of canned fish, and they even have King Oscar's. They have a few that are good brands, and it's overall much cheaper than any other store (though Trader Joe's is cheaper per can when bought individually), so I won't be bothering with Vitacost for canned fish anymore! I forgot/wasn't motivated to pick up some squash this weekend, but since I need to go out soon for canning supplies (my mom brought back with Baba had, which is everything except jar tongs and a magnet for the lids), I'll probably do that tonight or tomorrow.

Tomorrow morning, I'll be heading to the lab first thing to get blood drawn for progesterone and estrogen levels. Here's hoping it shows something helpful? Or that I just don't have terrible PMS this month/anymore! If that doesn't do it, then I'll follow through with a full Thyroid panel. I don't know if my insurance will cover that.

I've been slacking on any kind of exercise, but I figure it's okay to focus on my mental health right now. Once my moods pick back up again (still not awesome today, after a huge mood plummet post-drinking), I'll probably feel motivated to pick up the KB or do push-ups again.

I'm totally craving coconut milk. I finally calculated the calories for my hot cocoa drinks and it's at least 360, just from fat. Awesome. This tells me I must not be eating enough AT ALL during the day. When I start adding in more squash, I think this will be less of an issue.

It's been over a week without eggs, maybe 2, I forget. I'm wondering how long I should keep this up to be sure I don't have a sensitivity. I also don't know how soon the eggs are going to go bad, but we have a bunch!

TMI: The Pau D'Arco tea is totally working for the YI flare up because it's not bad at all today. I'm amazed. I've brought the teabags to work so I can have a couple (had one this morning). I'm trying the Vitamin C at 2g per serving today because it seems to take the entire day before it "hits", and I think 3g was still too much yesterday.

[namelesswonder]

Not much to look at, but this was dinner last night (and basically lunch today). I had another serving of brussel sprouts after I finished off that plate. Boyfriend did not eat any.

[onalark]

Not much to look at, but this was dinner last night (and basically lunch today). I had another serving of brussel sprouts after I finished off that plate. Boyfriend did not eat any.

I frickin' love roasted Brussels sprouts. But Mr. Onalark and the boyfriend are in the same boat, though mine will eat a couple "token" sprouts. The rest get shoved off to my plate.

I remember being young and broke and having to pick and choose between the gamer/s-f cons and regional renfaires. At some point I stopped going to all of them, but I admit I had a helluvalotta fun there for a while. Flying to Kansas City, meeting people in person that I'd only known online, and then driving to Atlanta for Dragon*Con was one of the best roadtrips I ever did. Well, that and the con roadtrip where I drove to Utah from California with Kathy Mar and Joey Shoji, and Joey spun out the car in the Nevada high desert because it was SNOWING in MAY (WTF Nevada?).

Good times.

[namelesswonder]

In college, my picking and choosing was what concert to go to. I went to over 12 concerts for one band in the course of 2-3 years. We drove as far as Philly (from Boston) on a long weekend to see them one time, and another time, we followed them on a short tour in New England to every show. Maybe I should say "easily over 15" because I lost track, and that right there was 5 shows. It was good times, but money was expendable then. I don't really miss it, to be honest, but mostly because I don't think I could've done that for any other band, and I don't really like them now. If I'd gotten wrapped up in the "cult" (the fans joke about being a cult) more, and talked to more people in the community, I probably would've stuck around longer.

Now, I can't decide between things like a wedding gift for my friend (less than 2 weeks away), a fiction book coming out next month, minimalist shoes, a concert next month, and PAX East in March. Siigghhh. Too much stuff.

[naiadknight]

MY college picking and choosing was more what weekends I was going home. There wasn't much to do in Lubbock that I wanted to be part of.

[ezeflier]

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On the car front, Boyfriend's dad says the part needed (header gasket) would be about $100 and he would help us
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Do you know if (he knows) it's actually the header gasket? Or the _head_ gasket? The reason I ask is that a header gasket is typically cheaper than $100 - maybe $25.. A head gasket (kit) is often around $100.


The header gasket seals the connection between the exhaust system (header) and the engine. The head gasket seals the mating surface between the cylinder head and the crankcase.

If it's the header gasket, you can probably drive the car with it leaking. It might be noisy (pfht-pfht-pfht-pfht-pfht...), and you might get CO poisoning if you have to drive it very far.. But, if it's just a quick trip somewhere, I'd consider driving it instead of towing it. Leave the windows open.

If it's the head gasket, that's worse, though possibly driveable still.. If the head gasket is blown, it could be putting combustion pressure into the coolant system, putting coolant into the cylinders, putting coolant into the oil - in order of worsening consequences. Or a combination of any of these faults.

If the head gasket blew and then the car has been parked for a while, it may likely require more work than just a new gasket, depending on the cause of the failure. If the car was run low on coolant (causing an overheated condition), the cylinder head might be warped - might require replacement - $. If the cylinder(s) had coolant sitting in it, that can cause rust in the bore, and then maybe a stuck/broken ring, which could demand an engine overhaul. If there's been coolant in the oil, the "bottom end" could require fairly major work (overhaul).

If it's actually the header gasket, no biggie.. That's an easy one. Maybe the $100 is for additional parts? Or maybe I don't know how much a header gasket costs for that car..

Good luck!


Cheers,

Matt-