Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change? page 206

[jenn26point2]

HEY! I drink crappy Lipton tea... lol

Sorry your day is filled with so much suck. I hope it gets better soon.

[namelesswonder]

Oh, snap! It's Friday and I didn't do my weekend goals!

Also, I just wanted to say: yay! My powdered Vitamin C should be arriving today! Just in time because I need to up the dosage again and these pills I have don't seem to be working well anymore. BTW, 2000mg of Quercetin seems to work pretty well for my allergies. I think I might need to take more, sadly. I will look for higher doses per capsule next time.

Also, also, I'm still emailing with the woman that contacted me through my blog. She's giving 5-HTP a shot and said it seems to have lifted the bleakest thoughts, but anxiety is still a major issue and it hasn't helped with her sleep problems. She's got a lot going on and I'm preparing myself to come to a very friendly but firm "I have nothing more for you, good luck!" email. I was tempted to send her some Tyrosine, but that just seems weird, even if I'm not using it. Without getting into too much of her details, it seems like she has a lot of things going on and I'm really bummed that her doctors seem like jerks. Pushing pills is one thing, getting mad at her for not taking them is another.

Anyway, weekend goals:
-Chiropractor at 9:40 on Saturday
-Sally's Beauty Supply for more pink hair dye
-Eye doctor at noon
-get help from mom or Boyfriend with hair dyeing & coloring?
-relaaaaaaaaaaaax
-Get my dad's help with the scooter, if we have some dry time (not looking like it)/finish my mom's desk (so close, just need to put in some diagonal supports, drill a hole for wires, and attach the top to the leg system)

[namelesswonder]

-Chiropractor was good. Chiro was impressed that I've identified when Omega-6's are causing inflammation (pain in knee post chicken-skin or excess-almond consumption). I'm focusing heavily on keeping my right leg straight when I walk and it's really hurting my leg as a result. I hate resorting to pain killers, but with the migraines I've been getting, I kind of need to anyway.
-Re-pinked hair. My mom helped. I feel a bit silly having her help, but she did a pretty good job and it was kinda fun just chatting and spending some time with her like that. She will likely improve much faster than
-Stayed up late, slept in late. Very tired today.

Ramblings, Ravings and Rants.: Welcome to October, 2012.

[TMI]I'm actually up to 6.4g of vitamin C every 4 hours (1/2 tsp is about 1.6 g) just to have bowel movements, as opposed to the 3.2 I stated in my blog post. Not even soft/properly formed ones, just to make them move. I feel like my body is playing catch-up today, so I might be able to reduce that dose within the next 24 hours, but we'll see. It's not as responsive as it was for the first couple of days using the Vitamin C powder, last week, but then, I did get my period. My body seems to be stressing out about something.[/TMI]

Other potentially period-related issues: migraines on and off since Friday. I bought dong quai over the weekend along with caprylic acid. I hope the dong quai makes a noticeable difference in all my seemingly-hormonal issues with the next cycle.

I need to start putting movie reviews in my blog. We saw Looper and it was really good. Not the shoot-em-up that I expected it to be. I really liked the way they designed the semi-near future (I think it was supposed to be about 40 years from now, but I forget). We also caught up on Doctor Who. Goodbye, Ponds! I cried a little.

I had a really hard time sleeping last night, most likely due to playing WoW right up until bedtime (11PM). I was aware of the time, and idly thinking I should go to bed, but the importance of the next day being a workday just wasn't clicking. I woke up a lot last night. My eyes are baggy today. I'll enforce an 8:30 computer shut-down tonight, and read if I'm not tired enough to go to bed by 9. Think I'll see if I can find any decently tasty coffee flavors in the cupboard (Keurig ftw). Gotta have flavor if I can't have milk. I'm still kind of half-assing the no-dairy thing, to be honest. I've used butter here and there, think I had a splash of milk in something last week. I've been using coconut oil a lot more though. Refined makes it much less icky to me, overall.

bluh, bluh, bluh. Boring.

[namelesswonder]

A few more thoughts:

I picked up my mom's 3lb and 5 lb kettlebells this weekend and giggled about it (then felt guilty for giggling). They were so friggin' light! I'm glad I started with 15 lbs. I feel motivated to do some KB work tonight. Maybe my push-ups too. I set my push-up app to get me to 50 push-ups in one session. I'm at 20 right now. I think I can get to 50 before Thanksgiving if I am diligent, unless my progress slows.

I finally blocked Grizz. I don't know what took me so long. I agree with him on Vitamin D supplementation, but GAWDZ THE IODINE. Be quiet, madman.

I've been talking about my sister in therapy lately. I talked to my mom a little about her this past weekend, was nice to know we're on the same page in terms of being really shocked by her choices lately. I'm not shocked about her getting tattoos, but she's going with very traditional styles and I always imagined her taking art and femininity more into account. Like...her...with a flaming skull tattoo? It's nice, for a traditional, but honestly I find it boring. Our tastes differ, I guess, but I feel like she never would have had this interest if it weren't for her current BF. Is that so bad? I don't know. They got matching tattoos =\ Frankly, I disapprove! It irritates me much more than I should let it. Still trying to find a way to let go. Why do I get so annoyed at her choices?

Generally feeling a bit sick today. The Quercetin seems to help with the allergies, but I am still very congested. I think next time, I'll get Quercetin with Bromelain, as that's supposed to help with absorption.

[namelesswonder]

Ramblings, Ravings and Rants.: Links worth following

[namelesswonder]

Sleep: I was off the computer by 8:30, in bed before 10:30. Boyfriend is going back into nocturnal mode. Pisses me off, to be honest. I wish he'd keep similar hours to me. I like sleeping next to him. Anyway, he's going to have to sleep in the other room or become a day-walker again because having him wake me up when coming to bed between 3 and 5 AM is not working for me. I feel sick with sleepiness today. It's making me terribly grumpy and I desperately want to leave work. I'm not feeling great as it is (still, probably from the lack of sleep) and I'm questioning how much I think I can force myself to do today. I just don't want to do a damn thing.

Well, I've got two things scheduled today for 11:30 and 1, and feels stupid to try to leave in the afternoon so I guess I'm stuck. Gotta deal with it. Gotta save up my PTO for more worthy things. I should have enough, with extra for just-in-case situations, to take a couple days off in December, for holidays and Winter date.

Food: I made chicken fingers last night, with almond flour and Italian seasoning as the coating. They weren't as crispy as I had hoped they would be, but tasty all the same. I just wanted to use up the last of the flour from when I made cookies a couple of weeks ago. I still have another bag, but I'm reserving that for pumpkin-y cookies...or I hope to, anyway (NK pinned something recently that looked good). I don't think my gut will let me. I had a little beer last night, Sam Adam's Octoberfest. It was okay, not as good as others I've had. I started to get another migraine so I passed it off to Boyfriend before I was even half done.

Exercise: Keeping track of it on Fitocracy. Some KB and push-ups last night. Up to 24 in a session. Next time will probably be 24 again, as it was pretty tough for me.

TMI: Still have a slight itch. Probably exacerbated from the almond flour and beer last night, but still overall on the mend. I will be going through another Caprylic acid bottle after this one (though I could up the dose, I'm not doing a full dose as it is), as it didn't have much in it. My gut is having a lot of false advertising today. I thought I'd have some action with all the uncomfortable rumbling and gas, but so far, nothing. I'm so tired of dealing with this.

I guess I'll take a Tryptophan, to bring me up to 1000mg for the day, though I'd rather wallow. Just one of those days. Fed up with everything and not in the mood to help myself.

[justyouraveragecavemen]

What shift is Cookie Monster working? That might be perpetuating the nocturnal habits.

[namelesswonder]

He's a soccer coach. He runs practices 4-6PM. So, no excuses whatsoever. Raiding starts this week and he'll be doing those 2-3 nights per week, 10PM-12AM.

[namelesswonder]

These mopey thoughts are quickly revealing themselves to be the anxious depression I have been experiencing lately. The Tryptophan has not had enough time to kick in yet (wasn't able to take it until sometime around/after 12PM), but I'm afraid I might need another. WTF is going on with my system?

anxxxiietttyyyyyyyyy I want to hide so badly.

I want to get Boyfriend something less atrociously SAD for lunch, instead of ramen, but can't think of anything "quick and easy" enough that he might make for lunches. He likes stir fry and since we have a TON of white rice now (and soy sauce), he can use that, I guess. Not sure how likely he is to cook up meat and stuff. Plus stir fry is very much like what we often eat for dinner and I don't want that to get boring. I don't mind it, but I worry about him not eating. Yes, he's a big boy, but to just not eat and feel sick as a result. Since he doesn't eat well in general, I find that dangerous.

[cori93437]

Is he really the type that gets bored with food easily?
If he's eating ramen regularly and not bored with THAT blandness then I'd guess not... maybe your anxiety is spilling over.
Dudes are sometimes very dude-ish.
My son could eat ramen with a pack of mixed veg everyday... ick.
My husband used to ead PB&j everyday... for YEARS!

The rice is easy to prep and put into some individual serving size things. Same with some cut veggies and meat.
It would be just as quick to toss the meat and veg together if it was pre-prepped for a quick cook, then toss the rice in too to warm it... as to make ramen.
Almost.