Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change? page 2

[NurseMama5]

Thanks for your kind words in my journal. When I saw yours thought I'd check it out. Would you like some recipes for different salads?

[namelesswonder]

Looking at your photos - I think you are awfully tough on yourself. At 18, you were pretty darn skinny (but a lot of 18 year olds are) and your posture, while not ideal, is in no way awful in comparison to a typical teenager. Now, you still look pretty thin to me - the stomach pooch is far more visible to you than me.

Based on everything you've written and your photos, I'd suggest you focus on eating cleaner (less junk, more real food) and getting a bit more active. Both will help with your moods and energy levels and your body will most likely improve the issues you have with your body.
Stick with the swimming, add a bit of walking if you can. Don't forget the Five Essential Movements described in Primal Fitness. There are good links for all movements to videos showing how to do each. They can be done in your living room while watching TV in 30 minutes (except for perhaps the pullup). Worry less about sizes and weight right now - focus on taking care of yourself by eating well and moving.

My unrealistic personal expectations are a common theme in therapy It's true, I'm way too hard on myself. I definitely WANT my focus to be eating clean and focus less on the numbers, but the truth is that that's not how my mind is right now. I keep hoping that if make the motions, the thoughts will follow. I'm a visual person, a visual learner, so I find it hard to not see results. I'd like to be able to SEE my health, but my vision of health may not actually be healthy. I can't really describe it, otherwise I'd try to explain what I'd like my body to look like. It's never constant.

I haven't finished PB...in fact I've barely started it. I just started reading again and got stuck on the Wheel of Time series so I can catch up before the final installment is released (next year? can't remember). I WILL read it though, and at this rate, I'll be getting back to it soon.

Okay, okay, supplements are coming. I'm curious to see what my blood test results will be. My vitamin D levels are usually low I think. I have some old fish oil capsules, but something tells me maybe I should consider getting some new ones =P

I've got a headache today and am starting to feel out of it again. 45 more minutes of monotony and then I can go enjoy the quietude of my room with the rain outside and AC in the window (living in an attic unfortunately makes the AC necessary despite the somewhat cooling rain). My boyfriend and I are going to swim tonight no matter what and I am looking forward to it. Despite the feeling of bloating that's sticking with me, it *appears* to have gone down.

Okay I finally read about "carb flu" and that sounds like how I've been feeling these past few days! I'm not sure if I should make go back to breads etc. but just reduce my former intake, and then continue to reduce as long as I don't feel "flu-like" every couple of weeks. I don't like messing with my head and it's making me anxious feeling like this. Obviously something I'm looking to avoid.

Thanks all.

[RitaRose]

Honestly, I think you look SO much better now! But I know, I know... it's hard to see your own beauty.

It sounds like you have a great attitude about Primal, and things in general too. Glad to see you posting here!

ETA: Most people have better success totally cutting out the grain and reminding themselves that the carb flu is temporary. Keeping a little bit of grains in your diet just prolongs it.

[Scotty]

Forgot about the Vit D which I do take 2000IU.

Keep working on taking it easy on yourself on the body image thing because you look good to me. Among the things you can control, you are a college graduate, employed, have a boyfriend, and you are working hard at taking care of yourself which most people don't start on until much later, if at all. My depression just loves unrealistic expectations with inevitable disappointment.

[girlarchitect]

Taking on the task of learning how to cook for yourself and taking responsibility for your diet is a big a deal and a very mature one. I was about your age when I started cooking for myself and I was definitely outside the mainstream of my friends who were still happy with frozen dinners and boxed meals. (honestly, many of my friends still eat this way to some extent). The food industry (and industry is the kindest word to describe these megaliths) is bound and determined to convince us that buying their easy to prepare hyper processed foods is healthier than eating real food. It's easy to buy into the hype - the sales pitch can be so compelling. I think Michael Pollan is right - only buy foods that aren't advertized. (as he notes, the broccoli farmers don't have an add budget).

Cooking is the most fundamental act we do - feeding ourselves and our loved ones. It's so basic, so absolutely natural to our survival (far more than the hunting gathering portion) but so very few people in the western world actual do it any more. Cooking as an act alone can be so rewarding and for many it is even more rewarding when cooking for others. I have never had a problem with friends, family and boyfriends letting me cook for them - no matter how simple the dish (a basic roast chicken, a bowl of chili or chicken soup) garners sincere appreciation. Hopefully, you'll find your friends responding with the same way - they might eat junk on their own, but they will quite happily eat good food when they have the option!

Your body issues are sadly normal in our world. Women (and now men to some extent) are endlessly told that there is something wrong with their bodies that needs to be fixed (if you only buy x, your life will be perfect and you'll marry that doctor!). It is, of course, all absolute BS, but we all are affected by and struggle against this insidious message designed solely to get us to buy crap. It is admirable that you are trying to deal with these issues head on.

You have a lot to be proud of and you should be giving yourself a lot of credit. Setting high standards for yourself is okay. Setting realistic expectations for achieving those standards is healthy. And giving yourself a safe place for when you don't achieve or perform exactly how you expect is critical. These are going to need to be key thoughts as you start cooking - not every trial is going to work out and you will need to be able to laugh at the failures. It usually helps to have a backup meal plan if you can.

[girlarchitect]

I found these two videos for cooking chicken that I thought you would enjoy:

An oldie best termed as a classic- video starts at about 1:30, I remember when these videos came out ! I watched them again and again, borrowed from the library, and practiced again and again - good eating.

Inspired by Julia, a recipe for roast chicken watching this video makes me want to invite four friends over to eat. A 5-6 lb chicken will make about 4 servings - hunt this size of bird down as the effort for four is good for a dinner party and even better for three days of leftovers. Very delicious - almost the perfect roast chicken recipe. If you can't find watercress, try arugula instead - although a basic green or red leaf lettuce would work too.

[Hedonist]

+1 for vitamin D

It's pretty hard to screw up a salad if you put good stuff in it. Worst case scenario - you pick things out separately.

HB eggs - Yes. You do want to put them in ice water. Do not use fresh eggs. Use ones at least a week old. For me, it takes about 16 minutes to get them cooked. I have tried three different recipes from very reputable sources and they all failed, i.e. came out undercooked.

[namelesswonder]

Thank you, thank you, thank you. You are all so encouraging.

Last night we went swimming as promised. I just had fun and it was great. I did some "running laps" to stretch out, since my knees have been acting up recently, and then just did whatever. I had fun just floating for a while, seeing my reflection in the skylights (bad lighting in the pool, but enough that I could at least see myself if without detail). I always feel better about myself when I'm swimming.

Afterwards we went out for Chinese food and I picked up lots of meat and veggies, avoiding anything that was bread-covered as much as possible. I know I did not succeed and that it was not really a healthy meal (who knows what's in those sauces), but I felt comfortably full for at least a little while. By bedtime, a couple hours later, I was hungry again! I've been pooping a lot more since I cut out grains, which surprised me, but I think I got out everything I ate last night this morning =P

Today is my first company event (been here 2 months now, worked in retail before, ugh). There should be plenty of grilled foods. I'm hoping they have some grilled peppers, I've got a definitely craving for those right now. I think the last time I was on bumper boats, I was about 8 years old so it's been a while and it should be fun

It's been a stressful morning. I have a remote meeting with someone soon, they are notorious for being "technologically challenged". Fortunately they don't need to do much, just sit back and watch/wait, so here's hoping it all goes smoothly and quickly so I can get lunch soon. I just cannot fill up this grain-free stomach!

Oh I can't remember if I posted, but I weighed in at 131lb on the doctor's scale. I was surprised, but the scale I have access to at home could be adding 5 lbs, so maybe I've been this weight for a while. Now, back to not weighing myself.

NurseMama5, I would love salad recipes

[NurseMama5]

capricose (spelling?) salad

1 can artichoke hearts (get all water out by pressing in a towel)
1 tomato chopped
1 cup frozen peas defrosted
1 small jar or 1 cup marinated mushrooms chopped
fresh mozzarella balls or "pearls"
4-6 oz prosciutto or thin sliced ham (recommend the prosciutto)
mix above and place over shredded romaine
dressing
2 Tblsp pesto
zest and juice of 1 lemon
EVOO to taste

spinach and bacon salad
dress desired amount of baby spinach with juice of 1 lemon and EVOO
In skillet over med to med-hi place either 4oz diced pancetta or 3-4 slices bacon chopped, cook until it is mostly done, but not brown or crispy. Add 1/2 package of baby portabella mushrooms (and onion of you like it) cook until ushrooms are browned and soft. Add a heavy splash of sherry. Place this mixture on salad

I have a couple more good ones, but I'll have to look up the dressings...more to follow AND of course if there is an ingredient listed you don't eat, leave it out

[namelesswonder]

Mmmm those look good/interesting.

Yesterday dinner was grilled veggies (peppers, yay!) and grilled chicken and a cheeseburger. Yes I cheated and had part of a bun. My boyfriend stole the top half partway through. It's very embarrassing to have someone correct you like that while you're eating. The company outing was pretty fun though. We got to go on a hot air balloon!

I woke up much less hungry this morning, which is a great relief. I'm looking forward to stocking up on groceries this weekend, especially the BACON that I've been lusting after since reading all these primal recipes.

HARRY POTTER TONIGHT AAHHHH SO EXCITED. I will have to resist the popcorn. I'm going out for a beer with my mom and sister after, so more cheating, but I will be keeping to the no-grains still. Also I found some carb testing strips in the bathroom (I guess someone was/is trying a low-carb diet in the house) and it showed something between trace/none. Wondering what level it should be.