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Thread: Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change? page 174

  1. #1731
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    Primal Fuel

    To the grocery store and back. Did not find everything I need/want for the curry later this week. My body was not happy about the trip. I think skipping lunch was too rough on my system, I nearly blacked out standing from a squat (to look at multi-vitamins) in CVS.
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  2. #1732
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    Sleep: Absolute shite. It didn't take me too long to doze off, but I kept waking up. I was awake from at least 3-4 AM, when Boyfriend came to bed (he'd been hanging out with a friend at the apartment). I think I'll take Melatonin tonight. I'm pretty sure it's my anxiety that's the issue. I did pretty well with avoiding screens last night, but a bit of game-playing on my phone was running through my head as I tried to fall asleep.

    Food: Dinner took at least an hour to make, not including the 30-45 minutes it took to cook the spaghetti squash (so tiny this time of year). I followed a random paleo meatball recipe I found online, but baked instead of seared then baked them. It called for a lot of cumin, and I think that's what made them taste "funny". Boyfriend did not like them and I felt hurt. Felt stupid for feeling hurt over it. Probably won't say anything about that. More leftovers for me! I had enough time this morning to cook up some burger patties that will either make lunch or dinner later this week. I think I'll make the curry tonight, but I'm worried it won't come out like I'm imagining. I'm also worried I'll totally fuck up the cauliflower rice in my blender, but I guess I can make it into mashed cauliflower if worst comes to worst.

    Exercise: I did not do any extra biking, just enough to get to and from the grocery store. I had at least 30 lbs of groceries on my back for the ride back. My body was not up to the trip. I might try to do pull-ups on a broom over two chairs tonight, otherwise I will do a real biking session. I think I could get in 3 sessions this week, but don't want to neglect my strength exercises. I should do a kettlebell video.

    Mood/brain: I took a Tyrosine this morning, after finding myself anxious in bed last night, second-guessing a lot of stupid things. The good thing is my concerns are pretty reasonable these days. I'm not worrying about money because I don't have to right now. I'm more worried about things like talking to Boyfriend about my feelings. I hope the Tyrosine helps. So far, I feel okay, but was kind of anxious this morning.

    Yesterday, he told me a friend was coming over to play video games. Cool. Then he told me before leaving for class that they were probably going to drink. Um...okay? I said something like, "What happened to not drinking for a couple more months?" And he said something super defensive about it being his choice or something like that. I'm not pissed that he drank, he didn't do anything stupid, but I'm pissed about him getting super defensive about it and not (appearing to) consider my feelings about it beforehand. I'm waiting till my anxiety improves before I try to talk to him about it. It seems like when he's less depressed (yesterday, he said he felt great, even chased some bunnies around on his way home from class), he's much more irritable, which makes me feel like his serotonin levels must still be screwed up. I don't want to jump the gun on anything without giving myself time to be calm, and him time to improve himself.

    Symptoms: I am less itchy today than I was yesterday, which is a great improvement. I think all the garlic in my tomato sauce helped (my hands still smell like it, it's awesome). I've been taking the rest of my super strong probiotic at least once a day (ultimately, want to take it twice a day for at least a few weeks) and have another bottle on order. I'm not sure what to do about the rest of my fruit (a few oranges, an apple, a frozen banana). I don't want it to go to waste, but I'm not sure I should eat it at all at this point. I had an orange yesterday.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  3. #1733
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    Quote Originally Posted by namelesswonder View Post
    I might try to do pull-ups on a broom over two chairs tonight,
    Wow, how short are you????
    Pics please!
    If I just said LOL, I lied. Do or do not. There is no try.

  4. #1734
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    Haha well they're not real pull-ups. I have read that it's a good way to progress. I also don't have access to any pull-up bars so I'll start with this. I just hope it doesn't break the handle. I'm 5'6"!
    Journal on depression/anxiety
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  5. #1735
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    Gyn emailed me back. "you should come in so we can discuss why so many recurrence symptoms" I don't WANT to. I've already discussed this with another doctor (admittedly, many months ago), I know it's from the yeast overgrowth and, recently, eating a lot of fruit. Just gimme the prescription!

    I'm sure I'd feel better today if I wasn't so tired. Coffee isn't going to help my gut issues any. So far, not feeling like Tyrosine has done anything. Maybe I'll try half-dosing Tryptophan tomorrow, otherwise I'll just keep toughing out my PMS week.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  6. #1736
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    and what is a pill pusher going to do to correct your recurrent symptoms??? Nothing. She can do nothing about your recurrent symptoms. You've discovered the problem and you're working to fix it. Just shoot her an email back explaining that you're trying to control it with diet and you want the script to jump start the process. If it doesn't work, then you'll be in to discuss it.

    I mean really, what can she do about it? Honestly b/c I don't know.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
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  7. #1737
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    I don't know. I got pretty pissed when I saw her response. I understand that doctors have to assume that we're not doing things right, but it's still obnoxious that I need to spend $20 to tell her she's useless, gimme ze pills.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  8. #1738
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    I so hate doctors anymore. I am very anti-doctor since going Primal and basically learning that all they do is treat symptoms and not actually solve problems (of course, in some situations, that's all you can do - like when cancer has reached a certain point, etc).

    I'm looking into interviewing doctors to find that ellusive soul who will CURE me rather than TREAT me if I have a problem. Until then, the only thing I'll see a doctor for is check ups since I can't order my own bloodwork.

    I'm still unsure what I think about vaccines, too, but that's a different topic all together.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
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  9. #1739
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    Completely agreed on all counts. Dealing with mental health professionals was the first mark against doctors for me. I know I'm terribly biased, that I've probably seen a lot of pill-pushers and less people who are truly passionate about finding causes and cures for people. I try to remain a healthy skeptic. I do like this doctor, she's really nice and ages ago, when I was having recurring yeast infections in college, she recommended some different treatment options that I've read about as being very effective (namely the use of boric acid), but I was too squeamish to try. I'm not sure I believe she's interested in the cause, however, just alternative treatments.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  10. #1740
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    Got the appointment with the gyn for Saturday.

    Symptoms: Mild itchiness this morning. I think it will pass by this afternoon. This is more progress than I've seen in recent weeks, so I'm keeping the Candex up at 3 capsules 2x daily for now.

    Sleep: Slept like a rock and got to bed on time. It helped that Boyfriend went to bed with me. I did not make myself suffer by waking up at 6:30, since I didn't need to make lunch (leftover spaghetti squash and sauce, still).

    Food: My chicken curry was exactly what I wanted it to be, and Boyfriend liked it too. It was basically sweet, I didn't add anything that would have made it spicy. The longest part about it was the cauliflower mess and cutting up the chicken and veggies into reasonable sizes. Better knives would make cooking easier, I should sharpen ours, but they're too big to be practical. Anyway, the curry sauce soaked up in the cauliflower was really tasty. I think Boyfriend will have some of the leftovers today, so no more for me. I had an orange after work and the last frozen banana blended up after dinner. Still not sure what to do about my fruit. I am nearly out of eggs and ghee, I'm not sure I want to risk biking with eggs, but biking for a purpose is fun so maybe I will try tonight anyway.

    Mood/Brain: I feel good this morning! I didn't really feel like the Tyrosine helped yesterday, which was surprising. I think the lack of sleep negated any effect it might've had. Work gets out early today because everyone is going to the summer outing, but I did not sign up for it. I didn't want to go without Boyfriend, who has class tonight. There would've been free alcohol and awesome local ice cream, but since I'm doing the Whole30, that part of it wasn't worth it (also free batting cages and golf, but we went a few weeks ago with a friend so I also wasn't that interested). I have been feeling really irritated by little physical things lately, like my nails. They're not very long, but the sides are rubbing my fingers and it's just REALLY bothersome. I don't want to nibble at them because then they'll be ragged, but it's uncomfortable to type.

    Other: Still craving coffee, still avoiding it to give my gut more chances of being healthy. On a whim, I upped my VitD intake to 10k every other day, in the hopes that it will help speed along the candida overgrowth. Because I've finally been making progress on my own, I'm hesitant to go to this doctor's appointment now. If the symptoms are gone by Saturday and I stay low-carb for a few weeks with my supplementation as it is, then add in carbs veeeerrrry slowly, I think I might be able to conquer this. However, it would be good to have the Diflucan in case things go awry.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

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