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Thread: Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change? page 162

  1. #1611
    WarlordBlade's Avatar
    WarlordBlade is offline Senior Member
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    Primal Fuel
    Ooh I've been meaning to see Source Code but keep forgetting. I also enjoyed Wolverine, need to watch it again!

    So since reading that you were looking for a slow blink I started looking for something similar.
    Lots of great gifts out there, but this is one of the better...


    I'm excited to see Dark Kuhniggit rises - I am going to a theater paid for by work, but have had a couple other offers to see it opening night as well... I guess it's fate!
    ~It's All Relative!~
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  2. #1612
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    We don't do theatres very often. We would like to see Savages, but I think that's just b/c we like the song in the trailer.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  3. #1613
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    namelesswonder is offline Moderator
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    I wrote a blog post yesterday and it should be going up around 12:15 today. If I was writing from home, I could probably even schedule it to notify on FB and Twitter, but I don't want to install those plug-ins on my work laptop. When our network situation is sorted out, IT people will be able to see anything installed on a networked computer. I'll share the link here when it's up.

    Sleep is still not right. I'm waking up when I'm supposed to, so that part of my schedule is at least fine, but I did not get to bed early enough. I need to figure out how to talk to Boyfriend about this. We ate late because we went grocery shopping (had to wait for traffic to die down), so I was kind of irritated about that. Then we watched two episodes of Supernatural and I was going to go to bed immediately as it was almost 11, but Boyfriend hopped onto his computer to play a game. I was too pissed to say anything and there was a breeze so I went to sleep in the regular bedroom (where there's no AC). I fell asleep for about two hours with earplugs in (I took them out at some point), but I think Boyfriend woke me up talking loudly with someone (I say talking, but he was probably laughing, which makes me feel bad for being pissed about being woken). I don't remember what I said when I went in, but he said he would come to bed when the game was finished. He seemed surprised, as though it was suddenly unusual for him to be able to games late at night and have it bother me. It finished quickly and we slept in the AC. I did not say anything this morning because I was still feeling pissed.

    Boyfriend's pride drives me nuts sometimes. He picked up a huge tub of cookie dough at the grocery store last night, said it's cheaper than making them from scratch (not sure about that, as the supplies for fresh cookies last for several batches). I said I would not pay for them, so he did (but he JUST had issues with his accounts and was concerned about his balance?!). I asked him what he wanted to get for lunches and he said just ramen. I said I thought he wanted to get something else, but he said, "It's cheap," with a tone that was meant to cease further discussion. I said, "We can afford to get you something else," but he just kept insisting, with resignation, that it was fine (and I could tell it was not). His financial priorities are all out of whack, in my opinion. Not sure how to discuss this with him. He would not even let me pay for gas! He has not gotten paid yet! We don't even know if he's getting paid tomorrow because he hasn't asked! I keep reminding him (not TOO often) of this and he's all, "Yeah, yeah, I know."

    (I just called and asked him to move the AC, he said he would. Didn't feel like I could say more. He admitted that missing class/feeling ill earlier this week was probably stress/nerves. A kind of unpleasant reminder that we are not out of the woods yet.)

    I think I'm going to start getting up early again, like I did last week. Traffic has been awful in the mornings lately. At the start of the week, there was visible construction, now I have no idea what's causing it, but it seems better before 8:30.

    I did a brief workout circuit last night, with the kettlebell and some bodyweight exercises. I would do each move to just before failure, then do something else. I found after a few movements (like 4 overhead presses on each side, plus 20 sec plank, plus 2 assisted push-ups [yeah, was not doing them right before, hence why the number is very low], plus 20 deep squats), I felt really drained and would sit down and drink some water for minute, then go through the movements again. I don't know how effective this is, but I felt pretty good about it/after. I don't think I'd feel as drained if I was sleeping properly, but maybe it's just because I don't do any cardio.

    Feeling stressed today. Could be PMS, could just be lack of proper sleep. Getting some water and hunting down interwebz entertainment.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  4. #1614
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    Oh right, and on other Primally things, I ate a proper breakfast this morning and made lunch. We picked up some hot Italian sausages at the store last night and I'm really hoping there's nothing icky in them. The labels looked okay, but "spices" and "spice extracatives" or something like that is always kind of sketchy. The organic and certified gluten-free ones were really pricey. I recall from last Fall, when we used to get these sausages, that there were a few times that I felt like I might have had a bad response to them. We shall see. If I do, I guess Boyfriend gets a proper lunch!
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  5. #1615
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  6. #1616
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    Screw you, spammer from Mars! I don't want to eat your apples!

    A co-worker keeps coming over to chat lately and commenting that I don't seem like myself. He is the only person in the office I'm really friendly with and chat much to in general/about out of work things and we're friends on Facebook. He has an enthusiasm for bacon and ignores my attempts to get him interested in Primal eating to lose some body fat. Anyway, I don't really know how to respond. I think I visibly squirm uncomfortably when he says that. This time he said, "I'm not going to pry." Guess what dude, you're kind of prying! I did say that there's been some stress with money and Boyfriend getting a job and such, which he related to. I don't know. Trials and Tribulations of Making Friends, I guess.

    45 min to kill. My 10 vol developer should have arrived today, so I can fix my roots and re-pink this weekend!
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  7. #1617
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    Hang in there chica. Sometimes we just have a false sense of responsibility when it comes to money. I know that sometimes I will choose something I want over something I should get instead. It's a product of always having money and no responsibilities as a young adult. At least, that's it for me. Money was in my pocket to burn, not use responsibly.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  8. #1618
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    Right now, all of my spare HAS TO be set aside for oil or we will be very cold this Winter. Even without that, the money I have after essentials (utilities, food, rent, student loans) is not much and I need to save. I have really nothing in the way of savings right now and that's dangerous.

    I only had money burning a hole in my pocket before we moved into the apartment and in college (when rent was cheap and I was working part-time while in school full-time). I miss those days.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  9. #1619
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    Methinks dat dude is hitting on you in his own way.
    If I just said LOL, I lied. Do or do not. There is no try.

  10. #1620
    namelesswonder's Avatar
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    If that's the case, I have no idea how to respond. I do read a lot of the way he talks to me as flirting, but I talk about my boyfriend pretty regularly (sometimes on purpose) and it does not affect his attitude. I guess that's just how he is? We have nice chats about bacon. I am totally intrigued by trying to cook bacon on a grill (with the cast iron) now.

    Early post today, since I got to work early and got through my usual internet browsings already. Also, blog post!
    Ramblings, Ravings and Rants.: Now in Technicolor!
    I struggled at the end to wrap up the post and make it have a bit more of a point. Story of my writing career. Practice makes perfect. Anyway, I like movies =P

    We moved the AC last night, and while I'm sad to not be sleeping in my bed (in the computer room) anymore, it was nice to get to bed when I wanted to! Boyfriend's bed (in our bedroom) is a queen-sized pillow-top and makes my back a bit sore Nothing can be done about that really, but I look forward to getting rid of it someday, since he's had it for less than 3 years and it's already crushed in the middle and causes us to both roll into each other (which sucks on hot nights). Plus a firmer bed is better for his back and Ikea mattresses are decent enough and hella cheap (that's what mine is). Okay, but despite the proper amount of sleep, I had trouble adjusting to the bed and woke up a few times, and have dark purple under my eyes today that's sore to the touch. I also took Tryptophan last night and feel pretty good today, so far. I am not sure if I should keep taking it for a few days or if I just needed it that one time (based on my stress levels yesterday). I'm glad I don't seem to need it all the time now.

    I did another little workout routine last night while vegging to HGTV shows and "Man Vs. Food" and "Diners, Drive-ins and Dives" on the Food Network. I love the renovation shows on HGTV and "Property Virgins". A lot of those food shows show stuff that I would totally eat for an amazing cheat (I wonder who on the forum could conquer the 48 oz steak in under 20 minutes). I wonder if they've visited any local places. My workout routine was just lying on my back with my knees up, feet flat on the floor, back pressed flat to the floor, and pushing the kettlebell straight up towards the ceiling in both hands. I could do about 20 the first time, 17 the second (after a 20-30 second rest) and 20 again for the last time (I can't remember if I did 4 sets). I suppose that doesn't really count as a workout, but I can feel it working my chest and I'm sure it works my shoulders too. This will also help with push-up type stuff, and eventually, pull-ups. I think core strength is still my biggest issue when it comes to planks and push-ups though, so I definitely need to focus on that. Man, how many times have I said that? Sometimes I just like to restate things, even if I say it a lot, to help enforce the eventual practice. That's why, when I used to break down my journal entries into various categories, I always included Excercise even when it didn't happen.

    I am trying to focus on posture lately. I moved my monitor up at work so I'm more likely to sit straight at my computer. I should definitely visit the chiropractor again soon.

    After work yesterday, I walked to CVS for a box of gloves for hair-dying and picked up some Fast Flats. They're pretty comfy, and by that I mean, it's like being barefoot while keeping my feet clean. They make my feet sweat, though =\ I wonder if they'll hold up to parking-lot strolls. Walking barefoot-style in normal shoes is kind of uncomfortable.

    Last night, I kind of grazed. The sausages came out fine, and I'm feeling no ill effects from them (phew). I had those with green beans. Then I had a protein shake (never buying this protein powder again, crappy chocolate). Then I had a sweet potato with butter. Then I had a little bit of honey (a small spoonful at most). The honey hit the spot and I finally stopped feeling hungry. Weird!

    Weekend plans: My cousins are visiting with their adorable 5 year old twins (SO well-behaved, but that's what you get for having two Navy parents!) at my parents' house so I might end up eating dinner there tonight and tomorrow (Boyfriend is working evenings all weekend). I'd like to have Boyfriend help me bleach my roots on Saturday so I can re-pink. I'm thinking about ditching my plan to grow out my hair to ~chin length and having a bright-pink pixie cut (my mom got her hair cut recently and it's super short like mine was earlier this year and I'm jealous). We need to do laundry and I want to pick up more sweet potatoes, oranges, bananas, and butter.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

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