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Thread: Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change?

  1. #1431
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    No, that's helpful. I am inclined to lash out and need to be careful if I don't want to be super rude (though they were being rude to begin with). I'm trying to stick with the "being a better person" route... I like ambiguity, it gives me an opportunity to walk away while they're still confused.

    Ugh, sleepy today. Maybe I will have a little coffee before I leave for therapy in ~40 min.

    We went swimming again yesterday! 4 laps (1 lap = 2 lengths in in-ground rectangular pool...don't know how long it is) free style and 4 laps breast stroke. Boyfriend sucks at breast stroke, excels at free style, and it's the opposite for me. Shoulders, pecs, arms, and upper back are sore today, feels good! Got a bit of core soreness after swimming, probably from twisting my whole body with the free style strokes, which I focused on doing in the past. I need to remember to MAKE myself rinse off after swimming. I think the chlorine has something to do with the extreme fatigue post-swimming. Boyfriend is fairly allergic and has a hard time breathing after we swim I wonder how cold the Atlantic is up in Maine right now...

    A swimmer's body is not the kind I'm looking for, but it would certainly be functional (being able to swim a mile would be AWESOME, was a goal last year). Usually the female swimmers I see are a bit "meatier" than I am (more body fat). I wonder what the muscles would look like on someone as slim as me.

    One of these days, I'll get over my fear of swimming with my head under water and get the breaths down. But I've been swimming for over 15 years now, I don't know how likely that is anymore.
    Last edited by namelesswonder; 06-22-2012 at 07:34 AM.
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  2. #1432
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    Must hydrate today. It is hot and I did some crying at therapy. I can feel the dryness in my head. My PaleoPax monthly tasting box arrived. It has some fancy fish in it that I might give to the cat. She's not eating much, even when we put the food and water in the AC.

    I am very worn out right now, in all ways possible. I want to have something to talk about, but the only things I am capable of thinking of will make me upset right now. No blog post today, too fried. I went for a hug from Boyfriend after therapy, but I was too upset to say anything. I probably confused him with my fairly silent, sullen, and brief visit.
    Last edited by namelesswonder; 01-20-2015 at 02:02 PM.
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  3. #1433
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    Wait- he scared you and you're concerned about him being confused? Psh- he can stay confused until you've done what you need to unconfuse yourself. He'll get over it. Or not. You are your concern right now.

    He's not all you've got. Ok, so I'm kinda far away, but we have a couch that could handle a surfer for a while if that's something you need. I know he's important, and I know you want to work this out, and I WANT you to work it out if you can- but don't forget that no matter what the situation, there is ALWAYS another option. Sometimes it's better, sometimes it's worse, but it's always there.

    *Silent hugs*
    http://cattaillady.com/ My blog exploring the beginning stages of learning how to homestead. With the occasional rant.

    Originally Posted by TheFastCat: Less is more more or less

    And now I have an Etsy store: CattailsandCalendula

  4. #1434
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    I've got access to a swampy area and no one would ask questions.

    Just sayin'.
    If I just said LOL, I lied. Do or do not. There is no try.

  5. #1435
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    I should really stay for another hour an a half until I can reasonably leave. I should *technically* stay for another 2 1/2 hrs so I'm not lying on my timesheet (which I already submitted). Even if going home means talking at Boyfriend and crying, I would rather do that than be here right now. Hunting desperately for internet things to distract myself with, as I have only one more task I can think of to keep me busy for the next 15 min or so.
    Last edited by namelesswonder; 01-20-2015 at 02:02 PM.
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  6. #1436
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    Quote Originally Posted by namelesswonder View Post
    His mom would probably ask questions =P
    I said a swamp, it's rather large.
    If I just said LOL, I lied. Do or do not. There is no try.

  7. #1437
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    Honey, if you need someone else in a "same kinda crazy" way, we have a futon, 2 sleeper sofa, an air matress and 250 counties in Texas for the 206 bones in the human body. (254 counties, technically, but I know 4 I'm not putting them in.)
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
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  8. #1438
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    "How's [Boyfriend] doing?"
    "...good..."
    "Is he going to come over to see the kids [nephews and niece] anytime soon?"
    "...no..."
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  9. #1439
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    Quote Originally Posted by namelesswonder View Post
    "How's [Boyfriend] doing?"
    No habla english.
    If I just said LOL, I lied. Do or do not. There is no try.

  10. #1440
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    I'm sorry you're having such a rough day. I hope it gets brighter for you.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




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