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Thread: Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change? page 143

  1. #1421
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    namelesswonder is online now Senior Member
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    Yesterday, we went SWIMMING! We're having a 2-3 day heat wave this week (yesterday was mid-90s, felt like over 100, same today, cooler tomorrow with thunderstorms, but still mid-80s). Come to think of it, I think we usually have a June heat wave, then things simmer down a bit until later in the summer. Hottest time is August, or at least it's supposed to be. I don't understand how discussing weather is "small talk" because I find it fascinating. I think I missed my scientific calling. I like the tangible sciences, like geology and meteorology (as opposed to something physics, and yes, chemistry, because there is too much math for me to understand the things). Anyway, the always-frigid pool was 68F, which is pretty good for that pool (always shaded, pretty much), and it felt wonderfully refreshing. But then Boyfriend and I were incredibly sleepy (chlorine maybe, or the temperature shock) and hungry again. He ordered a sammich and I ordered ice cream. Foodler is a blessing/curse for people like us. That is the first time we've ordered out this month and I think only the second time we've paid for food that wasn't groceries. +1 for budgeting.

    I have more ice cream for tonight (apparently 1 quart = 2 pints). Moose tracks with added full-size Reeses cups. Funny enough, the cookie bloat I got a few days ago subsided overnight. Carbing up at night seems to work well for me. I skipped lunch a couple of times this week. With something carb-y instead of a real meal, I seem to handle dinner just fine, but yesterday I had nothing and was hungry after dinner. Today, I have an orange keeping cozy in the fridge. It's going to be GLORIOUS.

    I considered not taking the Tyrosine this morning, but I think it's better that I continue for now. I can tell how it's helping me. I think a smaller dose would actually be better suited. Maybe I will take it every other day so it's maybe still in my system a little. I wonder if it's bad to empty half a capsule and swallow that small pocket of air that's left. I'm sure I swallow more air when I drink water than would be in that capsule. I have so much Tyrosine, it's not even worth keeping the half that I discard.

    I am really looking forward to going up to Maine. Nervous about the drive, as usual. Tonight, I need to swing by my parents' house to pick up my bathing suit, find the spare apartment key, and ask my dad to feed Fae Saturday AM, PM, and Sunday AM. I need to go to the ATM for tomorrow's therapy co-pay and toll/parking $ for the trip. As much as I would like to take photos on the beach, I think I'd rather focus on enjoying the walking and sunning and not having to carry anything. I am totally going to wear my wide-brimmed paper (looks like straw) hat, but I hope it doesn't get blown away.

    Today I am wearing an outfit like the one I wore to that wedding (photo on previous page, maybe), except the skirt is a stretchy black pencil skirt, I'm wearing a clear quartz pendant, and my shoes are comfortable black mary-jane wedges. I feel pretty sexy. I'm mostly expecting to get pounced when I get home today, since Boyfriend was too sleepy to get a response this morning. Yesterday, I felt fat and ugly. I have to keep reminding myself that improving my self-image is an ongoing process. I know I say a lot here that I seem to be fixed and then maybe the next day, I'm broken again. When something seems to be going right, I have a hard time figuring out if I can handle getting elated about it, or if I should be very very cautious. I'm not really capable of cautious optimism so the crash when I'm wrong is less painful. I think that is something I will always struggle with, being a passionate person.

    My inner thighs are still sore from the KB deadlifts I did the other day. Definitely need to add those to my regular work-out if I can only handle 20 with 15 lbs!
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  2. #1422
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    I bet you feel sexy- it sounds like a sexy outfit

    Yes, my rolly chair is the bane of my favorite skirt. It's ankle-length, heavy, very swishy, and ALWAYS getting run over.

    I'm with FW on the behavior. I don't care what "excuse" he had for prompting it, that is not ok. Not at all. If he's essentially threatening you, then the way he's "dealing with" his issues is not working and he needs to actually deal with them.
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  3. #1423
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    Swimming is always a great thing in my book. Great exersize and feels so good! 68 deg is kinda cool for my spoiled butt though!

  4. #1424
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    68 is seriously too cold. Lawl maybe it was that cold thermowhatevernesis that people talk about that made me feel slimmer today =P

    My orange was delicious. I wish I had another.

    I just went outside. It "feels like" 96 outside, according to my weather app, but the sun is hiding so I found it very comfortable, especially after the AC. As much as I become a pile of melty goo in hot and humid (43% today, I think it was worse yesterday), I don't like air-conditioning very much, even if it helps me sleep!
    Last edited by namelesswonder; 01-20-2015 at 02:01 PM.
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  5. #1425
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    I had a really good orange today too!
    Congratulations on your progress a few pages back - you are looking fabulous, keep up the good work!
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  6. #1426
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    Thanks dude!

    I caved and had a Swiss Miss cocoa today (kind of used it to soothe anxiety over discussing my tattoo with co-workers since it's out in the open today). Instant stomach ache, and now a headache! That'll learn me (probably not though).
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  7. #1427
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    Quote Originally Posted by namelesswonder View Post
    Thanks dude!

    I caved and had a Swiss Miss cocoa today (kind of used it to soothe anxiety over discussing my tattoo with co-workers since it's out in the open today). Instant stomach ache, and now a headache! That'll learn me (probably not though).
    Oh noes... why does discussing your gorgeous tatt give you anxieties?
    Enjoy the cocoa... but try to avoid the headache if it's a by-product.
    Maybe make cocoa the old fashioned way... stove, milk and/or cream, sugar, cocoa powder, vanilla... bonus here... as chocolate-y as you want it! I like to add dark dutched cocoa to up the Nom factor.
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  8. #1428
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    I'm sure classic cocoa would be absolutely fine. I needs me some good cocoa powder.

    I get anxious talking about my tattoo...I don't know... It's very personal. I like to share these things, but with co-workers, it's a step I haven't taken since college days when I was friends with many of my co-workers prior to the job. Today, I talked to one of the managers while working on her computer, about cooking. It was very friendly and pleasant, and she asked about my tattoo and I gave the quick version "grandma grandpa represents them love them etc.". My Russian co-worker asked so I gave the full version with the meaning of the names and how they built a life here. He said it was very romantic. I'm afraid of negative comments because I don't react quickly. I've never been good for a come-back. Now, I think if someone had said something negative, I'd say, "Well, good thing it's not on you then," but I can't think of those things on the spot. I don't like seeming slow, but I am.
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  9. #1429
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    Ahh... I understand completely.
    The art is very personal when it's custom.
    It's easier to dismiss someone you don't have to look at face to face.
    {{hugs}}
    “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
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    And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.


  10. #1430
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    Therapy tomorrow is going to be interesting. I am still looking forward to it despite a likely forecast of tears.
    Last edited by namelesswonder; 01-20-2015 at 02:02 PM.
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