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Thread: Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change? page 135

  1. #1341
    cori93437's Avatar
    cori93437 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Finnegans Wake View Post
    I love seaweed salad, but it's all made with sugar. Tried making my own, and it's OK, but nothing to jones for. I do add seaweed to broths and stocks when I remember to.

    What kinds of seaweed do you chow on?
    Seaweed salad with raw chopped ahi piled on it... NOMnomNOM!
    Sweet Valhalla help me, but I totally cheat on my "No Salt" restriction every 2-3 months with a monster bowl.
    I regret it every time... just not enough to stop me the next time!

    I used to eat tons of hijiki/wakame/black moss/and such in Miso soup (little soup, lotta seaweed)... I LOVE miso. Once again... my "no salt" issue foils me.
    Seaweed on it's own just isn't the same. Bleh.
    “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
    ~Friedrich Nietzsche
    And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.


  2. #1342
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    I know the salt has a neuro effect, but what is it again?

  3. #1343
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    Quote Originally Posted by Finnegans Wake View Post
    I know the salt has a neuro effect, but what is it again?
    Salt/sodium causes fluid retention... increased fluids increases brain pressure... increased brain pressure = DERP! aka, a major increase in all neurological symptoms such as speech and motor impairment, confusion, disorientation, special brain shutdown/zone out moments, pain from pressure headache.

    I miss salt. REALLY. F'rserious.
    Way more than I miss sugar and fluffy bread things!
    But I also have learned how overly accustomed to salt I had become.
    Things I used to enjoy will now actually feel as if they are burning my mouth and make me want to spit them out because the salt is TOO much.

    Sorry to hijack 'Wondergal!
    {{{Hugs}}}

    This has reminded me to order some more Brazil nuts though.
    I take a very low dose of iodine because I get nearly zero from diet due to the sodium restriction, and figure a couple of nuts a day won't kill me along with it. Besides... I LOVE Brazils.
    “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
    ~Friedrich Nietzsche
    And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.


  4. #1344
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    I haven't ventured into the world of ordering food online yet. Most of what I need is available in the "Healthy Market" section of my grocery. Brazil nuts just aren't one of those things... Brazil nuts were always the ones I'd pick out of the mixed nuts and toss...
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  5. #1345
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    Trader Joe's has them, I don't feel comfortable buying nuts online. Not sure why, it just seems shady somehow.

    No babies for this gal, the period has arrived. I did have a weird baby dream the other night, probably stemming from anxiety over waiting for cycle to start. I dreamt that I found out I was pregnant and was really happy about it (had decided I was going to keep it because "we could make it work" and no money for abortion). Then Boyfriend asked me if I was sure and I realized I hadn't even taken a pregnancy test, so I did, it was negative, and I was sad. Shut up, hormones, no babies. Worth noting that I have not had any serious pregnancy-anxiety in a while, mostly because we've been very careful after a long adjustment period to not having hormonal birth control, though I did take a test last month. -1 for anxiety, but not really because that was a month ago.

    Exercise: 30 crunches, 30 reverse crunches (legs in the air, arms on the floor, lift butt up), 80 KB swings with no break. 13 bent over rows on each side, only 2 overhead presses on each side. Tummy looks glamorous today, and by that I mean my once-was-outtie belly button is more visible than usual. Combination of the right kind/amount of carbs and temporary visible muscles from the crunches, I think. I approve! I need to work on my squat form. It's time to make them deeper b/c I don't want to increase weight yet, but when I try, it immediately makes my lower back hurt, so I think I'm doing them wrong.

    Food: Stew is a-brewin' today. I cut everything up last night and refrigerated it in the crockpot ceramic thingy, then put it on the cooker and added the broth this morning. We picked up some Himalayan pink salt in a grinder the other night and it's tasty. Two cookies last night and dammit, they were delicious. Boyfriend used the Trader Joe's chocolate chip bag recipe instead of Joy of Cooking's classic wartime recipe. It skimps on flour and...well, basically everything, and they were very flat. New batch is fluffy and amazing. NO MORE COOKIES YA FUCKING IDIOT. I bought ice cream the other night when we went shopping and I felt dejected >< Ffuuuccckkkkk I am NOT succeeding at sticking to my budgeting! This is getting really maddening, all this self-sabotage with money and food that does bad things to me.

    Mood/Brain: Okay, as you can probably tell, I am not in the best of moods today. Could be period. Could be tryptophan-failure. Could be wheat exposure. It doesn't seem fair to rule Tryptophan out while I'm bleedy since hormones are not trustworthy, but I really want to give up if I'm still feeling on and off shitty in 6 days. Of course, that doesn't leave me with any answers, just more pills to try.

    Sleep: Felt restless, woke up too early (something Tryptophan is supposed to help with). I had to kick Boyfriend out because he kept moving around and was keeping me awake (I was also just having a hard time falling asleep, probably too much Diablo III close to bedtime-- dudes, Monks are the shit). I felt guilty for it this morning and apologized when I kissed him goodbye and he was all sweet and sleepy and said it was okay so I think he was up late and unable to sleep anyway.

    Rubbing orange peels on the threshold and edge/bottom of the bedroom door stopped the cat from clawing at it, but she still pawed at it for a little while, once last night and once this morning. Stupid cat, if you are hungry, there is still food in your bowl from overnight! I don't blame her for wanting a fresh bowl, I'm sure the closer-to-raw biologically appropriate dry food isn't good when left out all day/night. I will rub more orange peels the next time I eat an orange at home, to make sure it's pungent/fresh. We need to invest in claw trimmers.

    No lunch today, had time, but no energy. If I'm desperate, I have an orange, though I suspect that will just make me feel more hungry.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  6. #1346
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    Instead of claw trimmers, carefully use finger nail clippers. That's what we use on our cat. I only cut about 1/4 inch off them (just to make them not so pointy) at a time. I don't want to hit her cuticle, but I'm too cheap to go buy a real pair of trimmers. I use infant clippers which are VERY sharp and small to prevent cutting too deeply, but regular fingernail clippers will work just fine.

    Your workout makes me want to cry. 1 b/c my rib still hurts like a bitch and crunches would be a VERY bad idea, and 2 b/c I can't do it because of said rib. You rock, girly!

    And congratulations on No babies.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  7. #1347
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    Aww I'm sorry about your rib! I just wish I could do more ab stuff. I really need to work on cardio things because that is mostly what holds me back. Maybe that's normal though, not really being able to breath when doing crunches. I should move my coffee table (aka. old steamer trunk) and stick my feet under the couch for some real sit-ups instead. I know there are other things I can do (and Boyfriend knows some killer core workouts), but I like to put in my 5-10 min and be done.

    We only have giant nail clippers (I lost my tiny ones booo), but that is good to know that they will work. I'll invest in a smaller pair soon and get Boyfriend's help in wrangling kitty. I am expert at towel-wrapping cats.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  8. #1348
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    Real sit-ups are hazardous to your back. Put a lot of pressure on the lumbar spine and subsequent tissues. Army is even doing away with sit-ups as a fitness test requirement.

    Plus, they're meant to work your hip flexors, not your ab muscles. True sit-ups are felt in your legs.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  9. #1349
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    Hmmm then I need to re-think my core workouts. Planks are probably a good enough start for this weakling anyway =P

    Shit, I just realized my self-ascribed halfway point is 4 days away. I need a new photo! It's probably not going to be that obvious that I've got a little muscle definition, mostly just going to look like I lost some body fat, but I want to update anyway.
    Tasha | Mark&#039;s Daily Apple
    I have other pictures from that same day that I might put up here, as a side-by-side, but I don't want to seem TOO vain

    Not sure where I am with real push-ups, will check tonight. Definitely not at 1 pull-up yet, but no bars accessible for testing.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  10. #1350
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    Who am I kidding, this is not a minor acne break-out and I know exactly what the cause is. At least it's hiding around the edges of my hair. STOP TOUCHING.

    My beef stew was delicious yesterday. I had three bowls full. I was still hungry and was thinking about having a sweet potato (not having lunch means I did actually need more food), but the cookies were right in front of me. I had one cookie and a beer, and also some gelato later. I didn't like it that much, but I love the creamy consistency of ice cream once it has started to melt in the pint container. It is unusual for me to find food in front of me so irresistible. With the cookies in the same room but out of direct line of sight, I found them easy to ignore. I don't feel like analyzing this so I'm just making notes in case I realize something later (when I'm not feeling so roller-coaster-y).\

    Boyfriend commented that I eat a lot. It looks like I do, but calorie-wise, I'm taking in about as much as I should (and sometimes, not even enough). Due to brain-shittiness, it made me feel bad to think that I am eating too much. FUCK YOU BRAIN. Fuck you. It's so frustrating to KNOW that my brain is not acting properly, but I can't do anything about it. I can only try to wait this out and pull through until it's lunch time. Then more beef stew.

    BTW I can't quite do a full regular push-up, but if I don't try to go down all the way, I can manage 2. My arms/shoulders are sore today (feels good) after doing some dips and various other upper-body related exercises yesterday. A bit of core soreness as well, after doing some superman thingy (lie on stomach, arms extended over head, lift arms and legs off floor, keep face off floor, pull arms back almost like breast-stroke and pull thighs off floor by clenching butt). It's less stressful on my back than planks, so I may do that for core-work for now.

    My morning started with a call from Baba, looking for my dad. I called my parents, could not get a hold of anyone, then called Baba back. She'd talked to my dad already. She's at home and sounds pretty normal for her, but is worrying about getting "her things" in order. She has been worrying about being prepared in the event of her death since my grandfather died 13 years ago (and it's always worse when she's back from the hospital). Despite basically growing up with her constantly trying to pawn things off on me (in a good way, I mean, they would be useful and everything), it still makes me worry a lot. She wants me to come up soon to see her and I think she wants to try and get me to agree to take some things (either now/soon or after she dies). She said, "Don't worry, I'm not dying." But I worry. I want to go up next week, money be damned. I'd go up this weekend, just for a night, if it weren't for the appointment and BBQ and really not feeling like I could handle the potential anxiety of a trip up this weekend. At the very least, I have a $50 gift certificate for a local store and will probably get a chance to browse for something nice. I want a new dress, though I should probably look for new shirts since that's what I need.

    I have terrible cramps today and am feeling irritable and emotionally sensitive. At least it's Friday and I'm about to have a good weekend, right? I sure hope so. Feeling like someone dosed me with fukitall and I am in danger of spending money that I should not. I am probably not good company today. My initial response to practically every thread I'm reading is "who the fuck cares". I am also pissed off at ageism. At what point is it okay to say "I don't care if I'll feel that way when I'm 'your age', quit acting like you are superior because you are older." I know I am extra defensive when it comes to my age because I am one of the youngest active forum members and I want to be fairly represented as an adult. I know I am also extra sensitive to this because I am very used to having my opinion swept aside as unimportant (by family) and I do see this place as an opportunity to make myself heard. Maybe it's a bit ambitious to hope that strangers on the internet will be more receptive to this kind of change. "No, no, I'm not trying to invalidate your opinion, but I'm invalidating your opinion!"

    I have to get gas for the scooter on the way home from work, or I may not make it home. I am feeling very anxious about this, despite having done it numerous times. I feel anxious about it EVERY time. Part of it is because I've spilled gas before when filling the scooter and it's embarrassing.

    Weekend plans: Maybe farmers market tomorrow morning, but I expect I will not feel motivated to go and battle my anxiety. Chiropractor @ 11. I wanted to see about dragging Boyfriend along with me (and cover his copay), but the office is closed today so there's no guarantee he could be seen Father's Day/birthday BBQ thing in the afternoon. Sunday is wide open and right now I just hope I don't feel like crap all day.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

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