Aw snap! I was all about making the blue work last Fall/Winter, but I'm more of a purple/pink girl as it turns out. Still think I'll try turquoise eventually. If I put blue on my hair right now, it would probably end up a shade of purple (tried this once before and had purple streaks in the pink, it was kind of neat).
My dad was born in New Jersey, but his first language was Russian because it's what his parents spoke at home (grandfather was from the Ukraine, grandmother is from Belarus, and both spoke some German from having lived there during the war). My dad tried teaching my sister and I Russian when we were pretty young (under 8), but we didn't have much of an attention for it. We knew a lot of household words (window, cat, car, little, big, house, please, thank you, etc.), but I don't remember hardly any now (except for yes, no, cat, dog, little, house, car, please, thank you, Christ is risen, Truly He is risen!, and hello, but I don't pronounce it well).
No lunch today. I don't want yogurt, so I'm either going to tough it out till I get home or cave and pick up some yogurt at the local grocery store today. Is it weird that a cup of decaf coffee with a generous splash of half & half fills me up? If I need to, I'll resort to that because it's freeeeeeeeeee. Caffeine on an empty stomach makes me jittery!
More disrupted sleep last night, but mood is okay today. Boyfriend and I flared up at each other last night, but reconciled quickly as we both recognized that we are worried about him finding work and there's no use taking it out on each other. More talking about the stress is good. Boyfriend learning when an apology would be helpful for me is good. Waking up in the middle of the night again is bad. I find that I go to sleep cold and wake up sweltering. This has been consistent for the past week now, but the mid-night waking is only for the past 2 nights. I took Tryptophan again last night and wonder if it has something to do with that. I'll just have to wait it out.
I would really like to find a way to calm down after an argument. Nothing really works and I've tried all the usual distractions. If I can sleep on it, I usually feel better in the morning when my mind has been able to let go of the issue for a while. If not, I find that I can't stop thinking about it and get more and more upset, imagining all the worst scenarios, feeling terribly resigned to the worst outcome, until it can be addressed. I know it's best to approach a post-argument or an argument with a cool head, but I can't ever get to that point. I just grit my teeth and take deep breaths and try to take a moment before I speak and that's the best I can do. It rarely works out well. I feel like this deeply emotional response is a cortisol/hormonal related thing and I wish I knew what I could do to improve it and make it easier for me to "shake it off" and actually find some other distracting activity beneficial.
Tomorrow I find out how much my usual paycheck will be now with the raise. I have a rough guess. So far with this month's expenses (rent and groceries, pretty much), I think my first paycheck will cover all that, which is a first. It's nice not waiting for the last paycheck of the month to see things trending positively.
My aunt emailed me yesterday and I guiltily responded that I'm still working on her wedding photos. I feel slightly more motivated to work on them now that the deep depression has passed. She goes on her honeymoon cruise next week and I want to have the cd to her before then, which means finishing it today or tomorrow and sending it First Class.