I am afraid to see what that video is, but maybe I will check it later.
I cried on Boyfriend for a bit last night and finally feel like the tears are out of my system for now. It was very reassuring to have him tell me that sometimes the harsh truths need to be said in order to move past them (making my dad admit that he feels like a failure). It was also more of a recognition from him that what went down hurt me and he regretted it. I think his response was just right, this time, and that I was prepared to receive it.
Boyfriend agreed to work on his sleep schedule if it will help me feel less upset. I can't explain why it makes me feel that way, but it makes me sad to wake up and know that he has spent another night awake. Maybe because I know the unnatural sleep schedule isn't good for his mood, and him staying up means he was feeling depressed. He said, "I'd even try sleeping pills if it will make you feel better." I'm not sure how to explain to him (Mr. smarty-pants bio major) that Melatonin isn't a "sleeping pill". He doesn't like reading links I send him unless it's job-related or funny so I'll have to educate myself on its function to share with him. Unfortunately I think Melatonin is much like many other "natural" supplements, meaning it's all anecdotal evidence and he really likes clinical trial evidence or peer-reviewed studies.
Sleep was disrupted last night. We fell asleep too early (around 10) and woke up around 1 or 2 in the morning. Boyfriend had to leave so I could sleep, but is staying awake today for errands and a phone interview for a guard position at Macy's. It's unfortunately not very close to here so I'm worried about him getting the job and what that means for my commute. The scooter is not good in rainy weather and a snowy winter would be rather dangerous. At least that is a worry I can fairly put off until October or later. In the meantime, I can save up for some better gear (gloves, insulated pants for cold weather, new cover that doesn't have holes in it). Our driveway does not really have room for another car, not that I would have the money for one anyway.
Dinner last night was delicious. I'm getting better at making burgers and it really is important to get the ground beef to room temperature so it cooks evenly. Boyfriend made a double-burger complete with a bun-half in the middle. He thinks it's "wrong" to have a burger without a bun. . I get to eat his untouched potatoes for lunch today though, so it works out.
Since money is tight, I can happily avoid any treats for the rest of the month, including ones for Boyfriend. I'm hoping that he'll stick with slightly better food options like the frozen meatballs he picked up, instead of ramen, for lunch. This weekend, I'll make sure to get him some lunch meat and cheese, though he will insist on eating it with rolls. Last summer, when I started eating primal, I made meat & cheese roll-ups for lunch sometimes Very reminiscent of grade school lunches, though I'm not sure I actually ever ate that when I was that young. I'm hoping to keep the grocery bill a bit trimmer this month. Last month it was roughly $375 on essential food stuffs, plus some of Boyfriend's treats (cookie making supplies and/or dough), which is just under how much we spend on average (closer to $400).