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Thread: Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change? page 122

  1. #1211
    cori93437's Avatar
    cori93437 is offline Senior Member
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    I wish I could get paid to fap in a cup.

    I might have considered donating eggs when I was young (before I knew of health issues)... but that is a SERIOUS commitment.
    Shots, shots, shots... harvetsing isn't exactly fun either.
    Last edited by cori93437; 06-05-2012 at 02:26 PM.
    “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
    ~Friedrich Nietzsche
    And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.


  2. #1212
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    namelesswonder is offline Moderator
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    ^Yeah I've looked into it but my medical history of depression basically takes me out. And the injections [[shudder]]
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  3. #1213
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    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
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    I looked into it, but medical history of allergies, depression, hypomania, and crappy eyes, as well as a family history of damn near everything under the sun took me out. That and all the needles. For a needle phobic, needles are bad.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  4. #1214
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    Yeah I would think so! I feel like if I was totally desperate and they would take me, I could learn to administer shots (if someone would teach me how first) to myself. But I'm not TOTALLY desperate, just desperate.

    My dad emailed me back, worth sharing his response:
    "Thank you for sharing all of this with me. What if we agreed not to discuss anything in person until you feel up to it? In the meantime it would be nice to some manual labor together. I'm not happy that you're down, but on the other hand if it gives us an opportunity to rub elbows it will make me feel a lot less of a screw up as a father.
    Thanks for writing."

    I actually cried when I read this. I really do love my dad. I really want to hang with him on Father's Day, like I got to hang with my mom on Mother's Day. Just chilling and have a nice day in good weather (fingers crossed). It would also be nice to hang with him this Sunday if the weather holds out. I have two projects that I'd like to work with him on (that I mentioned in my email, along with "I don't know where to go from here" and "I need to talk to people more so here is the truth: I am depressed and this is why").

    I'm still feeling very upset today, but better now that this is out of the way.

    Dinner tonight: roasted potatoes, bacon, burgers. We have cheese for the burgers and Boyfriend wants to put cheese & bacon on the potatoes. Not sure how well that'll work, but we'll see!
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  5. #1215
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    He's making an effort. More than I can say for my parental. Go with the effort he's made.

    No takers for fap in a cup > 40 y.o. Look, my swimmers are fine, no mutant DNA, gimme my $1200 a shot.

    "Hey Man, Nice Shot" Official Video - YouTube

  6. #1216
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    I feel bad that your dad thinks he's a screw up. Make sure you tell him that he's not.

    I think a project would be great for the two of you to get back to being you again. Maybe it'll relieve some of the tension that has built up between you two.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  7. #1217
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    My dad would never admit that he screwed up, or that he was anything less than a perfect father. At least your dad's willing to try, yo.
    If I just said LOL, I lied. Do or do not. There is no try.

  8. #1218
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    I am afraid to see what that video is, but maybe I will check it later.

    I cried on Boyfriend for a bit last night and finally feel like the tears are out of my system for now. It was very reassuring to have him tell me that sometimes the harsh truths need to be said in order to move past them (making my dad admit that he feels like a failure). It was also more of a recognition from him that what went down hurt me and he regretted it. I think his response was just right, this time, and that I was prepared to receive it.

    Boyfriend agreed to work on his sleep schedule if it will help me feel less upset. I can't explain why it makes me feel that way, but it makes me sad to wake up and know that he has spent another night awake. Maybe because I know the unnatural sleep schedule isn't good for his mood, and him staying up means he was feeling depressed. He said, "I'd even try sleeping pills if it will make you feel better." I'm not sure how to explain to him (Mr. smarty-pants bio major) that Melatonin isn't a "sleeping pill". He doesn't like reading links I send him unless it's job-related or funny so I'll have to educate myself on its function to share with him. Unfortunately I think Melatonin is much like many other "natural" supplements, meaning it's all anecdotal evidence and he really likes clinical trial evidence or peer-reviewed studies.

    Sleep was disrupted last night. We fell asleep too early (around 10) and woke up around 1 or 2 in the morning. Boyfriend had to leave so I could sleep, but is staying awake today for errands and a phone interview for a guard position at Macy's. It's unfortunately not very close to here so I'm worried about him getting the job and what that means for my commute. The scooter is not good in rainy weather and a snowy winter would be rather dangerous. At least that is a worry I can fairly put off until October or later. In the meantime, I can save up for some better gear (gloves, insulated pants for cold weather, new cover that doesn't have holes in it). Our driveway does not really have room for another car, not that I would have the money for one anyway.

    Dinner last night was delicious. I'm getting better at making burgers and it really is important to get the ground beef to room temperature so it cooks evenly. Boyfriend made a double-burger complete with a bun-half in the middle. He thinks it's "wrong" to have a burger without a bun. . I get to eat his untouched potatoes for lunch today though, so it works out.

    Since money is tight, I can happily avoid any treats for the rest of the month, including ones for Boyfriend. I'm hoping that he'll stick with slightly better food options like the frozen meatballs he picked up, instead of ramen, for lunch. This weekend, I'll make sure to get him some lunch meat and cheese, though he will insist on eating it with rolls. Last summer, when I started eating primal, I made meat & cheese roll-ups for lunch sometimes Very reminiscent of grade school lunches, though I'm not sure I actually ever ate that when I was that young. I'm hoping to keep the grocery bill a bit trimmer this month. Last month it was roughly $375 on essential food stuffs, plus some of Boyfriend's treats (cookie making supplies and/or dough), which is just under how much we spend on average (closer to $400).
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  9. #1219
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    namelesswonder is offline Moderator
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    Let me know if this doesn't work.

    My grandmother, when she kept a garden with fresh veggies & strawberries, was taller, and appropriately fat for a true Babushka. My dad, when he listened to his AM radio for French and Russian broadcasts, was thinner, not silver-haired, and sported a beard instead of just a handlebar 'stache. Me, when I was super-blonde.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  10. #1220
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    I can't imagine only spending $400 on groceries. We spend $600 and then some. But, I have 4 persons in my home. I made my son two burgers last night (can you believe a 5 year old can eat two burgers??) and he asked if we had any buns. I said no, and he said "ok. I'll just eat it like this". He's such a sweet little man sometimes! lol

    I hope you're feeling better today.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




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