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Thread: Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change? page 120

  1. #1191
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    namelesswonder is offline Senior Member
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    Another day waking up to John Lennon singing, "I'm sooooo tired" in my head. And I have no Beatles loaded on my iPod That's what YouTube is for! The Beatles - The Beatles (White Album) [Full Album] - YouTube Aaaahhhh...

    I had interrupted sleep last night. Boyfriend was up all night again. I don't know if my sleepiness and poor mood is just from waking up at some early hour (got out of bed very confused because I'd thought Boyfriend was there, but it was just our stuffed shark), or knowing that Boyfriend was up all night again. I am keeping in mind that despite my mood being largely out of my control, there is influence from Boyfriend's mood/status. Maybe it will be getting on Tryptophan (should arrive today so I can start it tonight) will help me have enough even moods to figure out what the correlation is and what I can do about it.

    Still don't know what to do about my dad. I'm scared to talk to him. I don't want to cry in front of him, but I feel like I will, so it's easier to email, but I know that that is going to make it difficult to communicate.
    ...
    5 minutes later, I am in the middle of spilling my heart out to my dad in an email. Last therapy session, I reflected on why I felt angry at my dad saying he was proud of me. My initial response was sort of a knee-jerk teenage-rebel kind that I remember from when I was in the height of my depression at 15/16, "I don't WANT you to be proud of me." But why not? I do want him to be proud of me. I am just feeling overwhelmed by a lot of things right now and I let that be my response instead of how I really feel. It's sent now. I feel a bit better, though writing it nearly made me cry and I am struggling to compose myself now.

    FUCK YOU BLACKBIRD NOT NOW. <3

    I feel like I am not in a safe state of mind to talk to people. I just deleted something I wrote on somebody's Facebook page because I got scared it sounded too critical. Patience, Tasha, patience.

    I don't think I'm going to get anything done today.
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  2. #1192
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    Hugs to you, Tasha. I'm sorry your mind is in such turmoil. But like every storm, this too will die down in time. Wishing you peace.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  3. #1193
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    I am feeling so desperate right now that I am applying for a second job at Unleashed (small Petco off-shoot). I get bored on weekends anyway. They probably won't contact me so it's really just a way to occupy myself for a little while longer today.

    I came up with a huge list of jobs that I found on craigslist and some job sites and sent it all to Boyfriend. He thanked me when I called to wake him up earlier. It makes me feel better to help him out in this way, I just hope one of them works out for him.
    Last edited by namelesswonder; 01-16-2015 at 01:28 PM.
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  4. #1194
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    What about donating plasma? You can do it 3x per week and you get paid like $25 a visit. it adds up if you do it frequently. AND you get your blood back so you don't feel dizzy or weak for days afterward. The worst part of it is the room temp saline they use to reconstitute the blood as it goes back in makes you cold as hell and you get a coppery taste in your mouth.

    Takes a while (like an hour and a half) but you make money and help a burn victim all at once!
    Primal since March 5, 2012
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  5. #1195
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    $1,200 a month? Hmmm...
    If I just said LOL, I lied. Do or do not. There is no try.

  6. #1196
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    I should have read your post more closely! Sperm donation DEFINITELY pays better than plasma "donation".
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    You can get paid for donating sperm?

    I coulda been a millionaire!

  8. #1198
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    Plasma donation isn't paid in MA, unfortunately. If you men-folk check out craigslist for your area, I bet you'll find postings seeking sperm donators. Generally speaking, they want someone at least 5'9", healthy, not on medication, able to visit facility ever couple of weeks, commit to a year. I bet they'd want red-haired guys, Booter!
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  9. #1199
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    Quote Originally Posted by namelesswonder View Post
    Plasma donation isn't paid in MA, unfortunately. If you men-folk check out craigslist for your area, I bet you'll find postings seeking sperm donators. Generally speaking, they want someone at least 5'9", healthy, not on medication, able to visit facility ever couple of weeks, commit to a year. I bet they'd want red-haired guys, Booter!
    Cha-ching!
    If I just said LOL, I lied. Do or do not. There is no try.

  10. #1200
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    Quote Originally Posted by namelesswonder View Post
    Plasma donation isn't paid in MA, unfortunately. If you men-folk check out craigslist for your area, I bet you'll find postings seeking sperm donators. Generally speaking, they want someone at least 5'9", healthy, not on medication, able to visit facility ever couple of weeks, commit to a year. I bet they'd want red-haired guys, Booter!
    I've read a bit on sperm donation an the pay...
    The guys that make the cash are generally tall (over 6ft), healthy (no meds, no family history of disease), athletic background, high IQ, in college or college grads, musical talent is helpful, Caucasian traits are highly preferred.
    Also, rate of pay can be very dependent on the area in which you live.

    I looked into it for my son because he had questions about it after seeing something on TV.
    “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
    ~Friedrich Nietzsche
    And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.


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