My dad emailed me back. I am struggling to find the correct words that describe how I feel about it (thank you, therapist, for getting me to specify what kind of "funny" or how something is "strange"). I am confused by it. It almost seems like a canned response. Maybe he is also confused. I have to remind myself that just because he is a parent does not mean he has all the answers.
I am also frustrated by this response because it still leaves things hanging. I wanted him to say something like this, but also, "Let's talk about this. Insert time and place." Something definitive to keep the ball rolling, but instead the ball is rolling around in circles with a big question mark over it. This email is a great example of how my family fails at communicating, but at least I know that *I* have an idea of what I want/need, which is most important. This reminds me of why I love Boyfriend, because he is definitive.I appreciate your bringing this to my attention and I applaud your courage for find a way to do so. I welcome the opportunity to clear the air on this issue and any other that would drive a wedge between us. I think we can talk this out and improve our relationship.
I guess if I'm going to do this, that means I get to be the planner. So I guess I should schedule a project (I have a small table & bookcase I want to sand/paint/stain) & coffee date with him this weekend so we can work and chat to make it less upsetting, perhaps.
There was an moment the other day at Boyfriend's family's house (at which I struggled very hard not to eat pizza after declining it) when this event came up in conversation with Boyfriend's sister. I told her what had happened, about being called "defaced" and my dad not standing up for me, and her response (kind of shock and horror, as well as support) made me feel uncomfortable. It is nice to know that his family has my back, but hurts to be reminded that family does not, or at least not in the way I am looking for.