I could not get to sleep last night. I think I got about 3 hours in. I was happy to convince Boyfriend to go to sleep around 3 AM. He had joined me around midnight, was worrying and couldn't sleep so he left. I gave up around 2:15 and read for a while. I didn't set an alarm for him today, he should wake up at a not too late hour.
I shouldn't read things like The Hunger Games trilogy when I'm upset, makes me more upset, but the second book was good. I'm trying to pace myself, but there's a good chance I'll wolf down the last book before I leave work today. Nothing is going on and I don't have the energy or brain power to do anything. I feel guilty being here, because I could be sleeping and potentially starting to feel better at home, but I'm sucking up the company's money doing nothing instead. Boyfriend had an interview at Home Depot, but afterwards they told him they interviewed him for a sales position, when he applied for and went in under the impression it was for stocking. He got a call-back and isn't going to go because of their deception.
Lack of sleep means lack of appetite. No breakfast and remembered as I was leaving about lunch, but didn't bring it. Also forgot to defrost food for tonight, but a bath in warm water should get the chicken defrosted within an hour or two. And just this time last week I was feeling so poorly and thought maybe it was because I wasn't eating enough, but I still feel somewhat ill and I've kind of given up figuring it out. Maybe it's one of the supplements.
I need answers. I get overwhelmed by the lack of answers for the problems in my life, sometimes, and right now, I cannot handle it. Thoughts of self harm briefly crossed my mind last night, but thinking about how beautiful my tattoo is somehow stopped me. I foresee a depressing and helpless feeling therapy session this Friday. Definitely something to talk about anyway.
I have not emailed my dad yet, since I'm still so out of sorts.