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Thread: Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change? page 100

  1. #991
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    Fae does not just step out and leave corn bits (got corn based litter because it supposedly clumps well, so far it's clumping well, but it does not absorb odors!), she KICKS THE LITTER ALL OVER THE PLACE before and after going. I think part of it is an instinctual thing (clear space, now bury poop), but she does it to an absurd extent. She also paws at the grand before/mid-meal...not sure what that's about. I listened to her kick it around for a good few minutes last night and cleaned up about half of the litter this morning. I just threw it out in case she just wants less in the box. Who knows, maybe my parents kept the bin too full for her liking in the past. We shall see.
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  2. #992
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    I find myself purposely avoiding finishing the DC travel guide blog post. I'm completely not interested in working on it anymore, not sure why. Today, I'd really like to start writing some of the things I reminded myself to write on yesterday, but I feel guilty for not finishing up that other post at home. I think the only thing that needs doing is a quick read-through to make sure I didn't leave anything awkward or un-finished, and cut out the part of "where to avoid" because I lost my maps/forget where those areas are.

    I did not sleep well last night. I think it was a combination of eating too close to bedtime (ordered sushi, mad about that because we had food, I just didn't want to make it and Boyfriend was not going to), worrying about Fae (might've nibbled on a little food last night, but hard to tell, and nothing this morning), and worrying about Boyfriend, who is on his way back to a nocturnal schedule. I don't know when I woke up last night, but I decided he needed to come to bed and fetched him. I felt too hot and didn't want to cuddle, I just wanted him close. He fell asleep easily. I slept restlessly for the rest of the night. I feel down today, probably from the sleep troubles. Maybe I should avoid blogging so I won't right things in an overly negative light.

    It's overcast and rainy today, which makes me really worry about my Vitamin D absorption. I'm at 8000 IU daily now and will stay there for a couple months/until I get my levels tested. I don't want to go until I get my flexible spending account card fixed (have to pay out of pocket for a bit to re-pay something that wasn't applicable) and I have a new bill for over $300 because I never checked of my insurance would cover allergy testing. I'm guessing they won't cover shots either! My future appointment has been cancelled. I guess I will just be experimenting with raw local honey and Quercitin from here on out.

    I am making a habit of keeping my glasses off at the office and at home. It's made a minimal improvement in my vision (I'm near-sighted). I don't know when I can get to the eye doctors, but because of my current bills, and the fact that I'll probably have to pay at least $130 for new lenses (mine are chipped and I'll probably need a new scrip), it's not happening anytime soon.

    No-poo: The all-natural shampoo bars I ordered arrived. I got a few "sample sizes". I felt like I had to use quite a bit to get my hair clean, it was pretty gross! I started with the coconut milk bar. It has a light herbal scent, nothing over-powering or headache-inducing fortunately. My hair feels much cleaner today, and I will wash it again soon (maybe even tonight) to see if I can get rid of the rest of the grimey feel before I try to go a week without washing again. I am hoping this can be an easier way to handle infrequent washing, rather than the ineffective baking soda & vinegar combo. Having hard water sucks My hair started to feel better at my aunt's (fairly clean water, pretty soft), but it probably would have taken some cleaning & time for it to adjust to the soft water and feel good again.

    I proposed a haircut idea to Boyfriend and he just made a face but would not tell me what he thought. I really dislike when he does that, I would rather hear what he thinks than try to figure it out and feel frustrated not knowing, if he's going to respond like that. Still on the fence about cutting it. I like having it around jaw-length, but it'll be so much easier to keep clean & dye when it's shorter like I had it cut last January.

    Reminder to self: need $40 cash for therapist this Friday.
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  3. #993
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    The cat: she'll come around. She's stressed b/c she's recently moved. She'll start eating again. My cat did the same thing when we adopted her from the shelter.

    Money: I hate money. Money sucks. It seems we never have enough.

    Dr bills: ugh... don't get me started!

    We have hard water at home too. We have thought about getting a water softener, but the idea of having to check it frequently and maintain it and always buy salt... none of that sounded too appealing. Maybe a whole house filtration system instead...

    I hope you have a good day!
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  4. #994
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenn26point2 View Post
    The cat: she'll come around. She's stressed b/c she's recently moved. She'll start eating again. My cat did the same thing when we adopted her from the shelter.

    Money: I hate money. Money sucks. It seems we never have enough.

    Dr bills: ugh... don't get me started!

    We have hard water at home too. We have thought about getting a water softener, but the idea of having to check it frequently and maintain it and always buy salt... none of that sounded too appealing. Maybe a whole house filtration system instead...

    I hope you have a good day!
    Money is GOOD! Money buys us things like grass-fed meat and shower filters so we can have soft, shiny hair and smooth soft skin!

    I got a shower filter for my last apartment, and it was amazing. We're getting one for my new apartment, which reminds me to BUY IT. We're also getting a gravity filter system for our water (per that book PRIMAL BODY, PRIMAL MIND). Money helps us do all of these things.
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  5. #995
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    Money is not good to me, then, because I cannot afford things like grass-fed meat and shower filters. My hair is soft and shiny today because of the natural shampoo bar I'm using (from these guys) and that's fine until I someday win the lottery and move to Maine or California and just have sea-encrusted hair all of the time. Money is the source of most of my stress right now and it does me no good to dwell on it, so that's all I'm saying on the matter right now. The shampoo bars were relatively cheap and should last a while since I won't be washing my hair much anyway, so it's a good investment (and water with white vinegar works fine for a conditioner still). I trimmed my hair in the back a little last night, and with the way it's falling all clean, I feel much better about how it looks and won't be shelling out any $$ for a trim anytime soon. I am re-instating my personal spending fast right now though, which means no Kombucha for post-tattoo treat/recovery. I need to pick up some bananas over the weekend though.

    Ramblings, Ravings and Rants.: Wednesday post: in which I ramble and feel good.
    This started out as an entry here and I figured it would make a better blog post. It's not what I intended to write on today/this week, but that's fine. I might work on another entry on photography later, and maybe another separate one on age-ism later...not sure about that one though. My blog does include rants as part of the title, but I rarely post them there at the risk of offending anyone. And the rants are not usually completely thought out, just born out of frustration. I'd like to start a discussion as a result though, so maybe some questions at the end will be a good angle.

    After some deliberation, I took my navel piercing out last night. I got it last July as incentive to lose weight, then I lost the weight, but the damn thing has never healed properly. It can take up to a year because of the flesh tone in the area and how much it moves (if you've ever over-worked your abs, you know how central they are to every friggin' movement). The area was looking particularly bad recently and when I took it out last night to clean it up more thoroughly, it seemed like the purple spot that had showed up was actually thinning, a sign of rejection. So goodbye for now, navel piercing. You are unlikely to grace my body again, and I will opt for some more ear piercings or my eyebrow later this summer when I have the spare cash I love me some silvery body adornment.

    ^See? Yet another thing that might be more suitable for a blog post, but since I've written about it before and it was a weight-loss thing initially, I figured I'd leave it here.

    I slept better last night, had my ear-plugs in and Boyfriend was fairly quite while raiding anyway. I might've taken two 5-HTP, but I can't remember now. I'm having coffee because I was just too drained when I got in. I guess it's not an IF because I put half and half in it, otherwise I would've had a ~15 hr fast from last night till lunch today. I wasn't hungry when I got up and still not hungry after supplements (L-glutamine and Vitamin D). I did a few kneeling bent over rows with the KB and 20 swings this morning. It felt good to stretch out my legs and glutes. I feel good about my body today.

    I started showering at night because I like having the extra time in the morning, but I'll need to wash my pits in the AM for my deodorant stone to work well. Boo!

    I'm feeling less anxious and depressed today and feel like I have some good things to discuss with my therapist on Friday. I feel prepared, which is funny considering how uncertain my future is right now (mostly financially, I mostly play it by ear because there are always unforeseen purchases that need to be made).
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  6. #996
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    I've had two c-sections... I know allllll too well how important ab muscles are!! lol I'm confused by this purple spot you reference with your navel piercing. I had mine pierced after high school and took it out finally in 2007 when I was about 5 months pregnant with my son. I don't recall a purple spot...

    Oh, and I cleaned mine with Visine, which also helped if it was itchy during the healing process.
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  7. #997
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    TMI warning: wound description
    Well it's not a good purple spot so that's probably why you didn't have it heh. It was itchy and flaky around the top hole for months and months, occasionally oozing if it got caught on stuff. It seems like the curved barbells made for navel piercings are all the same length, but it felt too long for my body. Within the last week or so, I noticed a purple spot just below the top hole, like a bruise. Then a layer of skin flaked off the spot and it seemed slightly recessed O.O There was no oozing, and it looked more like purple scar tissue than a bruise. When I took the bar out last night and gently squeezed around the piercing site, I could feel that the skin was thinning at that spot. Kinda freaky. I need to get some saline solution to insure that it stays properly cleaned while it heals. Might use coconut oil too
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  8. #998
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    I kept a ring in mine until it was healed. I had problems with potential infection when I used a barbell. A ring might be a good option for you at this point b/c it allows the metal to move more. Also, I was instructed to use dial handsoap to clean my piercing. I was supposed to pull the ring through the hole back and forth numerous times with the handsoap on the area to clean it out. Saline was used after that to rinse it.

    If at this point, a year later, you're starting to reject it, chances are it's because it hasn't healed yet. Your body has probably said "enough is enough". I really think the barbell is probably the problem.

    I had to take mine out for a summer while I was at Basic Training and had it repierced when I returned. Maybe you could do the same... when I finally reach a point where I'm happy with my tummy, I'll be having mine pierced a third time.

    Also, did you rotate the hardware at all? One of the things I remember my piercist telling me to do was to rotate it a lot so the skin would heal in place rather than healing and pushing the ring outward (which might be why your skin was rejecting it???)
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  9. #999
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    Yeah the spot is right were the top ball kind of hits my skin, so maybe a ring would be better, but for now I'm going to let it heal up. I never cared for navel piercings much but I wanted something discreet (and nipple piercings are out [for now]). From everything you've described, it sounds like a ring makes more sense for the initial healing period, logically, anyway. I've read a lot on various healing procedures and the rest of my piercings (nostril, ear lobes, ear cartilage, eyebrow) all did fine with just saline solution, but the skin is pretty different on my belly so perhaps I will try anti-bacterial or castille soap next time, if there is a next time.

    I couldn't really rotate the hardware as the barbell is curved, but I did more it up and down while cleaning. So again, makes more sense to have the ring for healing, from what you described. I didn't want to take it out because I felt like it was a waste of money and many months of frustration (from not ever healing), but I got it pierced so long ago, it really doesn't matter.
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  10. #1000
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    Quote Originally Posted by namelesswonder View Post
    Money is not good to me, then, because I cannot afford things like grass-fed meat and shower filters[....] Money is the source of most of my stress right now and it does me no good to dwell on it, so that's all I'm saying on the matter right now.
    Money is only a means of exchange. It is the most desirable good, and while it may have other purposes it's main purpose it to allow you to exchange something with someone who doesn't need what you have. Like, you want a fish but the fisherman does not not need a fish's worth of interior decoration doing (or whatever). Using money facilitates multiple intermediate steps on trades, so everyone is much more likely to get what they want. It is a good thing.

    You don't have enough money probably because you aren't making enough trade goods any presumably have too high running costs. It is not money itself that is your problem, it is lack of goods.

    BTW, well done for pulling out your belly button ring! They look awful and I can easily see how it would lead to infection. Not like somewhere basically external and harmless like the earlobe.

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