Page 100 of 761 FirstFirst ... 50909899100101102110150200600 ... LastLast
Results 991 to 1,000 of 7605

Thread: Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change? page 100

  1. #991
    namelesswonder's Avatar
    namelesswonder is offline Moderator
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    MA, USA
    Posts
    12,124
    Primal Fuel
    Ramblings, Ravings and Rants.: Happy, happy weekend!

    Reminder thoughts for next post
    • photography as a hobby and compliments about it
    • handling tattoo comments
    • age-ism


    I'll have to finish my "guide to DC" post before the next entry because it's saved as a draft on my home computer. Good incentive since it's almost 2 months late now!

    I am back from an awesome weekend! I ate fairly on-plan. I did not have any wedding cake (one crumb and I'm not really sure why), though it smelled great (pistachio and chocolate). My yeast flare-up is still bugging me on and off and I'm still needing magnesium for regular bowel movements, but I think things will be better this week since I can cook for myself again.

    I'm feeling a bit confused about my body. I'm holding steady at 118 lbs and happy about the progress I've made with my lean body mass, but then I started to really slack off on the exercise. My boobs are bigger lately, only a little, but I can tell (they're so small, it's really easy to tell for me!). My upper arms seem a bit meatier, not in a muscular way.

    I'm supposed to get my period this Saturday, but I noticed these changes last week so I don't think it's related to my cycle. We'll just have to see how my body is doing as I get back on board and am not eating out and eating bad oils.

    Tattoo gets finished this Saturday Stay tuned for pictures! Oh yes, and the situation with my dad calling me "defaced" re: my tattoo: apparently my mom did talk to him (Boyfriend asked her about it) and now it's up to us to sort it out. Boyfriend said the ball is more in my dad's court now, which makes me want to not say anything at all, but I worry that nothing will be said if I don't initiate the conversation. But I really don't want to. Something to talk about in therapy on Friday. I'll be happy to report how the mini-vacation/road trip went to my therapist

    Oh and Fae, the fat calico, has finally joined us at the apartment! I didn't really sleep last night because I had caffeine late (for the drive home) and was excited about the cat, plus she was prowling around all night, getting used to the space. And kicking cat litter everywhere grrrrr. Shame on me for not shelling out the $30 for a covered box. I will get pictures of her as soon as I can, as I want her to have her own before and after photos when she slims down on good quality food! She did not eat this morning, hopefully has finished by the time I get home.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  2. #992
    jenn26point2's Avatar
    jenn26point2 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Iowa
    Posts
    7,770
    I have a cat too and failed to get a covered box (or rather, DH failed b/c he's the one who bought all the stuff). I have rugs down under her box to wipe her feet before she walks across the floor, but it doesn't work that well. Have considered getting a covered box, but figured that would just result in me changing it less often - out of sight, out of mind.


    I'm glad you had a good weekend and I look forward to seeing the tattoo!
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  3. #993
    namelesswonder's Avatar
    namelesswonder is offline Moderator
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    MA, USA
    Posts
    12,124
    Fae does not just step out and leave corn bits (got corn based litter because it supposedly clumps well, so far it's clumping well, but it does not absorb odors!), she KICKS THE LITTER ALL OVER THE PLACE before and after going. I think part of it is an instinctual thing (clear space, now bury poop), but she does it to an absurd extent. She also paws at the grand before/mid-meal...not sure what that's about. I listened to her kick it around for a good few minutes last night and cleaned up about half of the litter this morning. I just threw it out in case she just wants less in the box. Who knows, maybe my parents kept the bin too full for her liking in the past. We shall see.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  4. #994
    namelesswonder's Avatar
    namelesswonder is offline Moderator
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    MA, USA
    Posts
    12,124
    I find myself purposely avoiding finishing the DC travel guide blog post. I'm completely not interested in working on it anymore, not sure why. Today, I'd really like to start writing some of the things I reminded myself to write on yesterday, but I feel guilty for not finishing up that other post at home. I think the only thing that needs doing is a quick read-through to make sure I didn't leave anything awkward or un-finished, and cut out the part of "where to avoid" because I lost my maps/forget where those areas are.

    I did not sleep well last night. I think it was a combination of eating too close to bedtime (ordered sushi, mad about that because we had food, I just didn't want to make it and Boyfriend was not going to), worrying about Fae (might've nibbled on a little food last night, but hard to tell, and nothing this morning), and worrying about Boyfriend, who is on his way back to a nocturnal schedule. I don't know when I woke up last night, but I decided he needed to come to bed and fetched him. I felt too hot and didn't want to cuddle, I just wanted him close. He fell asleep easily. I slept restlessly for the rest of the night. I feel down today, probably from the sleep troubles. Maybe I should avoid blogging so I won't right things in an overly negative light.

    It's overcast and rainy today, which makes me really worry about my Vitamin D absorption. I'm at 8000 IU daily now and will stay there for a couple months/until I get my levels tested. I don't want to go until I get my flexible spending account card fixed (have to pay out of pocket for a bit to re-pay something that wasn't applicable) and I have a new bill for over $300 because I never checked of my insurance would cover allergy testing. I'm guessing they won't cover shots either! My future appointment has been cancelled. I guess I will just be experimenting with raw local honey and Quercitin from here on out.

    I am making a habit of keeping my glasses off at the office and at home. It's made a minimal improvement in my vision (I'm near-sighted). I don't know when I can get to the eye doctors, but because of my current bills, and the fact that I'll probably have to pay at least $130 for new lenses (mine are chipped and I'll probably need a new scrip), it's not happening anytime soon.

    No-poo: The all-natural shampoo bars I ordered arrived. I got a few "sample sizes". I felt like I had to use quite a bit to get my hair clean, it was pretty gross! I started with the coconut milk bar. It has a light herbal scent, nothing over-powering or headache-inducing fortunately. My hair feels much cleaner today, and I will wash it again soon (maybe even tonight) to see if I can get rid of the rest of the grimey feel before I try to go a week without washing again. I am hoping this can be an easier way to handle infrequent washing, rather than the ineffective baking soda & vinegar combo. Having hard water sucks My hair started to feel better at my aunt's (fairly clean water, pretty soft), but it probably would have taken some cleaning & time for it to adjust to the soft water and feel good again.

    I proposed a haircut idea to Boyfriend and he just made a face but would not tell me what he thought. I really dislike when he does that, I would rather hear what he thinks than try to figure it out and feel frustrated not knowing, if he's going to respond like that. Still on the fence about cutting it. I like having it around jaw-length, but it'll be so much easier to keep clean & dye when it's shorter like I had it cut last January.

    Reminder to self: need $40 cash for therapist this Friday.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  5. #995
    jenn26point2's Avatar
    jenn26point2 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Iowa
    Posts
    7,770
    The cat: she'll come around. She's stressed b/c she's recently moved. She'll start eating again. My cat did the same thing when we adopted her from the shelter.

    Money: I hate money. Money sucks. It seems we never have enough.

    Dr bills: ugh... don't get me started!

    We have hard water at home too. We have thought about getting a water softener, but the idea of having to check it frequently and maintain it and always buy salt... none of that sounded too appealing. Maybe a whole house filtration system instead...

    I hope you have a good day!
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  6. #996
    kalli889's Avatar
    kalli889 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    975
    Quote Originally Posted by jenn26point2 View Post
    The cat: she'll come around. She's stressed b/c she's recently moved. She'll start eating again. My cat did the same thing when we adopted her from the shelter.

    Money: I hate money. Money sucks. It seems we never have enough.

    Dr bills: ugh... don't get me started!

    We have hard water at home too. We have thought about getting a water softener, but the idea of having to check it frequently and maintain it and always buy salt... none of that sounded too appealing. Maybe a whole house filtration system instead...

    I hope you have a good day!
    Money is GOOD! Money buys us things like grass-fed meat and shower filters so we can have soft, shiny hair and smooth soft skin!

    I got a shower filter for my last apartment, and it was amazing. We're getting one for my new apartment, which reminds me to BUY IT. We're also getting a gravity filter system for our water (per that book PRIMAL BODY, PRIMAL MIND). Money helps us do all of these things.
    My Leptin Reset Journey


    Current BF%: 35
    Goal BF%: 20-23

  7. #997
    namelesswonder's Avatar
    namelesswonder is offline Moderator
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    MA, USA
    Posts
    12,124
    Money is not good to me, then, because I cannot afford things like grass-fed meat and shower filters. My hair is soft and shiny today because of the natural shampoo bar I'm using (from these guys) and that's fine until I someday win the lottery and move to Maine or California and just have sea-encrusted hair all of the time. Money is the source of most of my stress right now and it does me no good to dwell on it, so that's all I'm saying on the matter right now. The shampoo bars were relatively cheap and should last a while since I won't be washing my hair much anyway, so it's a good investment (and water with white vinegar works fine for a conditioner still). I trimmed my hair in the back a little last night, and with the way it's falling all clean, I feel much better about how it looks and won't be shelling out any $$ for a trim anytime soon. I am re-instating my personal spending fast right now though, which means no Kombucha for post-tattoo treat/recovery. I need to pick up some bananas over the weekend though.

    Ramblings, Ravings and Rants.: Wednesday post: in which I ramble and feel good.
    This started out as an entry here and I figured it would make a better blog post. It's not what I intended to write on today/this week, but that's fine. I might work on another entry on photography later, and maybe another separate one on age-ism later...not sure about that one though. My blog does include rants as part of the title, but I rarely post them there at the risk of offending anyone. And the rants are not usually completely thought out, just born out of frustration. I'd like to start a discussion as a result though, so maybe some questions at the end will be a good angle.

    After some deliberation, I took my navel piercing out last night. I got it last July as incentive to lose weight, then I lost the weight, but the damn thing has never healed properly. It can take up to a year because of the flesh tone in the area and how much it moves (if you've ever over-worked your abs, you know how central they are to every friggin' movement). The area was looking particularly bad recently and when I took it out last night to clean it up more thoroughly, it seemed like the purple spot that had showed up was actually thinning, a sign of rejection. So goodbye for now, navel piercing. You are unlikely to grace my body again, and I will opt for some more ear piercings or my eyebrow later this summer when I have the spare cash I love me some silvery body adornment.

    ^See? Yet another thing that might be more suitable for a blog post, but since I've written about it before and it was a weight-loss thing initially, I figured I'd leave it here.

    I slept better last night, had my ear-plugs in and Boyfriend was fairly quite while raiding anyway. I might've taken two 5-HTP, but I can't remember now. I'm having coffee because I was just too drained when I got in. I guess it's not an IF because I put half and half in it, otherwise I would've had a ~15 hr fast from last night till lunch today. I wasn't hungry when I got up and still not hungry after supplements (L-glutamine and Vitamin D). I did a few kneeling bent over rows with the KB and 20 swings this morning. It felt good to stretch out my legs and glutes. I feel good about my body today.

    I started showering at night because I like having the extra time in the morning, but I'll need to wash my pits in the AM for my deodorant stone to work well. Boo!

    I'm feeling less anxious and depressed today and feel like I have some good things to discuss with my therapist on Friday. I feel prepared, which is funny considering how uncertain my future is right now (mostly financially, I mostly play it by ear because there are always unforeseen purchases that need to be made).
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  8. #998
    jenn26point2's Avatar
    jenn26point2 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Iowa
    Posts
    7,770
    I've had two c-sections... I know allllll too well how important ab muscles are!! lol I'm confused by this purple spot you reference with your navel piercing. I had mine pierced after high school and took it out finally in 2007 when I was about 5 months pregnant with my son. I don't recall a purple spot...

    Oh, and I cleaned mine with Visine, which also helped if it was itchy during the healing process.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  9. #999
    namelesswonder's Avatar
    namelesswonder is offline Moderator
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    MA, USA
    Posts
    12,124
    TMI warning: wound description
    Well it's not a good purple spot so that's probably why you didn't have it heh. It was itchy and flaky around the top hole for months and months, occasionally oozing if it got caught on stuff. It seems like the curved barbells made for navel piercings are all the same length, but it felt too long for my body. Within the last week or so, I noticed a purple spot just below the top hole, like a bruise. Then a layer of skin flaked off the spot and it seemed slightly recessed O.O There was no oozing, and it looked more like purple scar tissue than a bruise. When I took the bar out last night and gently squeezed around the piercing site, I could feel that the skin was thinning at that spot. Kinda freaky. I need to get some saline solution to insure that it stays properly cleaned while it heals. Might use coconut oil too
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  10. #1000
    jenn26point2's Avatar
    jenn26point2 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Iowa
    Posts
    7,770
    I kept a ring in mine until it was healed. I had problems with potential infection when I used a barbell. A ring might be a good option for you at this point b/c it allows the metal to move more. Also, I was instructed to use dial handsoap to clean my piercing. I was supposed to pull the ring through the hole back and forth numerous times with the handsoap on the area to clean it out. Saline was used after that to rinse it.

    If at this point, a year later, you're starting to reject it, chances are it's because it hasn't healed yet. Your body has probably said "enough is enough". I really think the barbell is probably the problem.

    I had to take mine out for a summer while I was at Basic Training and had it repierced when I returned. Maybe you could do the same... when I finally reach a point where I'm happy with my tummy, I'll be having mine pierced a third time.

    Also, did you rotate the hardware at all? One of the things I remember my piercist telling me to do was to rotate it a lot so the skin would heal in place rather than healing and pushing the ring outward (which might be why your skin was rejecting it???)
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •