Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change? page 10

[canio6]

WTF? I have no problem with him playing WoW and I really don't see that in my comment. My comment wasn't about WoW at all. .

I quoted you as it was convenient. I could have been anyone. I did not intend to single you out specifically but to tie in with the overall idea of the thread. My apologies if you were offended by that choice. As for taking it personally, nah, not that at all. I work 50+ hours a week, go to school full time (though not this summer thank God) and as such have earned the right to spend my free time doing whatever the heck I want. I was merely pointing out that one should not judge him based on how he spends his free time.

[girlarchitect]

I think he's just got summer-syndrome right now, but there's nothing I can really do about it, he has to find his own motivation.

That's probably as reasonable an assessment I can imagine. I certainly remember one summer between semesters that was just like that for me(and the economy was in the tank then too so jobs were few and far between). Fortunately it's only for the summer and then he'll be back and school - stressed but productive.

My only thought is it sure would be nice if he would play WoW when you were at work instead of at home. A couple planned nights a week where you know he will be off-line and available would probably make it easier for you and maybe that is already happening. Planning ahead would help you mentally as you would know what nights you have to spend with him and what nights you get to focus on your own hobbies or interests.

[Finnegans Wake]

When I was in my 20s, we didn't have this WoW business. We whittled, and we ate bugs, and that was IT. Things were simpler then...

BTW, thanks so much, nameless, for making me into the middle-aged stalker type. After I fluff my ponytail, I'm going to take a nap, and then I'm going to put Woodstock on the record player and have a flashback. Was having a great birthday until I suddenly became the weird old dude.



Sardines will help those lipid profile numbers, BTW. And they aren't bad, if you don't get some cheapass brand. Definitely will stop hunger pangs dead in their tracks.

OK, are you now whining... about whining? Seriously tho', it's fine. It's what gets us through the patchy parts.

[namelesswonder]

Haha I didn't mean it! Sorry =P I'm a jerk. To be fair, the car-forum guys weren't really stalkers, though they did ask for pictures a lot. They also sent me free parts (like heater boxes, which worked amazingly and kept us from dying in the winter) and probably miss the one chick on the forum. Besides, you're not old. I still believe that people aren't old until they're over 75 (and now someone who's over 75 will get upset...).

haha yes, whining about whining is probably what I do most! I'm just trying to get into the mentality of "stop whining and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT" while also accepting that a lot of things are beyond my control.

[Finnegans Wake]

No, it's OK. I've stopped crying, mostly.

The thing about whining is this. Journaling helps you focus your thoughts, so you can focus on what you need to change, and tune out all the white noise. Sort of like how your dreams work through issues subconsciously, but this is conscious activity. What seems like whining and feckless hand-wringing eventually reaches critical mass: you put it down in words enough times, and you know you've written about it a few dozen times already, it gets harder to put it off or to rationalize it away.

I gradually added weight over a number of years and kept saying I gotta do something about this... sometime. And then it got to the point where I just got sick of that same refrain and it changed to I gotta do something about this NOW. And I did. So here I am.

Around the time I started tweaking my diet and took up jogging, I needed to buy a new belt. I went to hike the belt in tighter... and realized I had run out of holes. Feels good to take your health into your own hands and really effect change. And that's physical, mental, and spiritual health, because they all mesh.

[geostump]

haha yes, whining about whining is probably what I do most! I'm just trying to get into the mentality of "stop whining and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT" while also accepting that a lot of things are beyond my control.

I think a lot of us have trouble with that. I know I do.

[namelesswonder]

Phew, I was winding up for a meltdown to the point that I was ready with an excuse to leave work early. That's a VERY bad habit of mine lately. I went for a long, slow stroll around a couple of the buildings in this lot and got my mind off what was bugging me. Ran into a very pretty Camaro (I need to start posting pictures in here) that I wanted to steal, but it had a "please don't touch" sign on the dash. Sigh. No pretty cars for me.

I got so day-dreamy about the apartment we won't get that I couldn't get to sleep the other night! Aaahhh have to stop thinking about it! I hope the agent calls me back though Left a message on his office phone this morning. Here's hoping.

Almond milk is getting chugged down, nearly one full carton in one afternoon. Oops? Guess I'm hungry.

[NoSaladWithoutMeat]

*fingers cross for the call-back*

[namelesswonder]

The dick called back and I gave him what-for in the calmest way I could, which was really just restraining my anger by not raising my voice. Gr. I am not going to give you a personal check for an application that you haven't done credit checks on, let alone spoken to the landlord about! Fucking disappointed.

I am FAILING recently. Cheated again last night, but had dinner with my parents. A nice evening. Slept like shit. Woke up, wide awake, several times, and was awoken by a terrible cramp in my calf that occurred twice in a row, had me crying outloud in pain, and hurts like hell this morning. I am being so slow and I have just over half an hour to make some food and get into work. I'm already going in late, though nobody seems to mind when I do.

Hard on myself? Yes. Do I feel like I need to be to get anything done? Yes. And of course, I had to come on here before anything and waste time before breakfast ><

[namelesswonder]

I can't focus today. I've been so angry lately, at my boyfriend for things I should be shrugging off/talking to him about calmly, at that rental agent (he can go to Hell in a handbasket), for food-cheating, and now for having more than a few self-injurious thoughts lately. As in pertaining to self-injury and probably injurious to my psyche/mental well-being. Fucking fed up with these feelings, tired of being angry and having a hard time letting it all go. I want to leave work now. I can't stand being here right now. I know as soon as I get home, I'll be bored and just as frustrated, and more likely to do something stupid. At least I can't find the multi-tool (had to use scissors to cut my Lexapro this morning).

Just found out I can leave work at my normal time instead of staying later. That's good at least. I'm having dinner with my sister tonight, we're going to make salads (she wants tofu, maybe I'll pick up some chicken for mine). Maybe I'll treat myself to a primal smoothie.

RRRAAAWWWRRRRR. I have that choked feeling of crying. I'm going to get a headache soon.

On a completely different note, I started watching Fat Head last night, but got too tired to finish it. I like how simple and accessible it is, despite the low-tech graphics and filming equipment. I might try recommending it to my mom and then sneaking PB onto her Kindle... I need to swipe some books off of hers anyway heh.