Hey Guys...

I just learned about the Primal Blueprint, and love it enough to give it a shot. I read the book in a day, and then discovered MDA. Unlike others, I hate doing research, and love to jump in with both feet. Doing is the best learning, and Im sure Grok didn't research his tasks... He went with his gut!

I only wish I learnt about the PB earlier. Let me share my story with you, cause if I do, then I have said it out loud, making it a bond and a contract. And to be honest, I need the motivation

A few years ago, I had a drastic life change. (Right now I am 37, and the life style change happened at 35) One of the main things I discovered was that I was using food as a source of pleasure, and had put on almost 140 kg... I was huge, and in fact, I have photos to prove it. What really scared me was that I thought I looked good. I never wanted to see myself for what I was at the time. I look back at a picture I took of myself when I was in Hawaii and sunburnt a few years ago, and I want to be sick. I was so fat, that the only part of my body that didnt bulge out, was where my diaphragm was.

Moving on with my life, I joined a volunteer group where sports and MA was a huge component. It took a few years to get to speed, but I ended up running 20 minutes a session 4 times a week, 2 hour long MA sessions which were killers, and for fun I played a heap of squash. At my best, I was playing an hour of squash every day... (Cardio, Cardio Cardio!)

I slimmed down, and in fact was chosen to go overseas to compete and train. Before that trip, I was eating little to no sugar, drinking and exercising. When I got back from that trip, I had no gut, I was wearing pants from when I was 16, and for the first time ever, saw myself in a positive light when it came to my physical stature.

Two things happened on that trip that helped and hindered. First we were training 9 hours a day, so we were feed heaps, and given alot of sweet drinks and the likes. After three weeks of it, I found myself craving sugar, and a year later, that craving is still going on.

The other is that I got injured the first day back from the trip, and tore my right ankle's capsule. It looked like I broke my ankle, but in fact, I did alot more damage than if I had broken it. This meant that all the activity I was doing came to a screeching halt. (It was the best Ultimate Frisbee game of my life though, and the game is still at a draw! )

During this time, a few more personal developments made me rethink the picture of my life, and I found myself in Israel at a seminary. In fact, thats where I am today. Why I tell you this is because when you spend your days studying, you don't get as much exercise in. I never thought I would go this route, but I'm here, learning and I am surrounded by people who indulge there eating. The food here is far from great, full of oil and fat, but the plan was only to be here for 6 weeks. Im coming up to a year. Beacuse I planed for 6 weeks, and have been living of my savings, I eat when I can, and this has grown into a "eat everything you can now, cause you don't know when the next chance will be attitude" that I hate, and I have been doing my best to change it...

Because I'm here I have a few limitations. I live in a room with five guys, so exercising there is a little bit of an issue, more for me than for them. Im sensitive to my weight issue, so I have been looking for a room or a place where I can exercise with out and audience. I think I might have a place, but I need a routine that I can do alone. No equipment, until I can find a gym.

I also tend to starve myself out of guilt. I just don't know how much food is enough (till now), and therefore think that if I starve, that may help the weight come off. Of course, after a day, I feel dead, lethargic, and when I do eat, I start hating myself for it. I don't have a fridge,but thats high on my list of priorities so I can get some clean primal food and go from there!

I want to get back to running, just for the fun of it, but more than a few minutes has me out for hours. I know that will change, it has in the past, but I had my friends around me last time, and here I'm alone.

Wow, I just read what I wrote, and it sounds like I am very negative. I want you to know thats not the case. I know its going to be hard, but I am also very motivated. Just to be able to share this to you has helped in a big way...

My short term goal is to loose my belly. My long term goal is to be happy with my body image, and smash p90x, and live a happier playful life.

So thats it. Right now I am back at a belly size of 115 cm, which is 110kgs. At my best I was 82 kgs, and had a flat belly. No six pack abs, but that is the final goal. ALl the success stories have motivated me not to do this on my own, and at the end of the first day, I have a killer headache, but cut out all grain and sugar! I have also spoken to friends of mine who live and prepare their own food, to see if they can help me with veggies and salads, as they are not readily available in the commissary where I eat! (Can you imagine that! All frozen foods, and deep fried! Yuck!)

You all have been where I am, maybe not in the same way, but you have been their! Would love any advice, words, anything that would make this go as quickly and honestly as possible. If I know I can share, I know I cant cheat!

Love you all... you just didn't know it!

Day One Down! Bring on the Play!