First day in, killer headache, but thats day one down! page 18

[namelesswonder]

Meeting up with an old flame? Well that always depends on the background and how things ended. I had a really rough long distance relationship with a guy when I was in my mid-teens. We were both severely depressed and ultimately I broke up with him because I felt like I was the only one trying to get better and make the relationship work. That was over seven years ago and I found out within the last year or two that he would still be willing to be with me. The thought of him terrifies me now, even though he lives far away and would probably never come looking for me. But despite my fears, I feel like everything is very unresolved with him. I want him to understand that I am different now and it would never work. I never stop wondering what would've happened to me if I'd stayed with him (probably would've attempted suicide again, I think).

That being said, I would never ever meet up with him again. It just scares me too much.

[SoccerGrok]

OK Champ,

Now I'm in your corner. The first thing you have to ask yourself is, "Who is more important at the moment? Me or an Ex?" I know it sounds kinda brutal, but with all that you've accomplished in the last 100 days, the thing you need be concerned about most is YOU! Take what you've learned and move forward with it. If that means meeting up with the ex to say goodbye and resolving your issues with her, then so be it. You are Primal now, and that means taking your life in a positive direction. You need to free yourself of the past, and live for the future.

We all go through these turmoils, and wether or not there are those to help/support/or even guide us through them, it ultimately falls to us to resolve. You Shifty, who has gone through so much already have the willpower to get through this. Use your inner Grok to guide you. And know that you have many friends here that have your back. Good Luck to you Pal, and remember this...Free your Mind and your Grok will follow!

Cheers,
SoccerGrok:-)

[shifty1]

Update n the old flame :

I wrestled with going to see here the whole day. I even found myself running away from her (she was staying just down the street from me with a friend of ours). I realised that I really wanted closure of sorts, and ran (thats right RAN) from one side of town to the other. Great exercise, but it almost killed me. But I felt great, cause as SG said above, I was living Primally, and I was doing what I needed to do!

Ran into her, waited an hour, and we went for a walk. I told her how I felt, wanting to spend time and know if we really had something,and she told me she moved on and was seeing someone else. Hurt... but I did what I needed to do.

One part of me is sad, another is glad... cause I have the closure I needed, and it ended well. Still something there, but it cant be acted upon.

Im glad that it ended the way it did. I can understand your fear Nameless... I don't think I ever have been so worried about an outcome more than tonight, but some fears you have to face, others you avoid. If nothing positive comes from it, best to avoid it.

I met up with my ex, resolved my outstanding issues, and am ready to move on... next....

Thanks for letting me share...

Love you guys....

-Shifty

[Ferti]

I'm a little late here but I would have went to see the ex. I'm actually friends with most of my ex boyfriends, it takes some effort and sometimes years to do. I have also worried if you are eating enough. I've been on the leptin reset for 5 weeks, really like it, plan on making it a permanent style of eating. Dr. Kruse mentioned that about 80% of people have issues with protein shakes (raises glucose levels, cholesterol) but I also realize that it's impossible for you to eat optimal at the moment and I think the protein shakes are better than not having a big ass breakfast. Try to get yourself some extra virgin coconut oil. I just eat the oil off the spoon (some people gag doing that but I could eat the whole jar, you'll want to put it in the fridge during hot weather or it will liquify). I also have coconut manna which is the whole coconut ground up, similar texture to peanut butter and needing something to wash it down but very dessert like too. I have that at the end of meals sometimes. Good Luck.

[shifty1]

Day One Hundred and Three :

In the middle of another holiday here, and forgot to update my log. Right now, Im living in a thatched hut, which is as primal as you can get! Nothing like being up as the crack of dawn. I was never one to get up early, but when you have sunlight streaming onto your face, you get up. I think I have been up and about every day at 7am! And while its a long day, it feels great. ANd I have another 8 days to go

Food wise its been a few heavy meals, lots of meat and a little wine, along with a lot of walking and keeping active.

Otherwise from that, just adjusting to whats been going on for the last few days. THe great thing about not having closure is that you can fool yourself, and I realise now I was doing that to a certain degree. Now I just need to process and incorporate. Stings like a bitch thought...

Please, if you spot something I could be doing better, please, please, PLEASE let me know. I am asking, and with around 2530+ views, I know someone is looking at these posts, so anything you can share will be eagerly appreciated! As mentioned before, I would love any advice, words, anything that would make this go as quickly and honestly as possible.

I love your comments! Truly! So shout out and say hello!

Day One Hundred and Three done! Day One Hundred and Four is almost here!! I still cant believe it!

Love you all... you just didn't know it!

- Shifty

[shifty1]

Day One Hundred and Five:

I have been going from one holiday to the other, and missed out on updating you due to the sabbath.

So in a nutshell, I have been emotional, and I have been eating to numb myself. This just meant that I need to get back on the wagon again. This weekend I fell off, eating egg loaf on the sabbath, and cake. Not a good combination, but I realise now that it was just cause I have been upset, and its time to get back on track.

So, with that, I am calling it a day, heading out to the hut, and sleeping under the stars...

See you tomorrow...

Please, if you spot something I could be doing better, please, please, PLEASE let me know. I am asking, and with around 2530+ views, I know someone is looking at these posts, so anything you can share will be eagerly appreciated! As mentioned before, I would love any advice, words, anything that would make this go as quickly and honestly as possible.

I love your comments! Truly! So shout out and say hello!

Day One Hundred and Five done! Day One Hundred and Six is almost here!! Back to the track1!

Love you all... you just didn't know it!

- Shifty

[shifty1]

Day One Hundred and Six:

Not a great day at all. Still working threw things, and woke up in a little bit of a panic. I definitely find that when I am upset, I have a hard time controlling what I eat.

Breakfast was a protein smoothy, and I was find till I headed over to my teachers place for a party, and it was all party food. I ate more than I was planing, alot of it was pastry filled stuff, and cake. I know that this was the worst time I have had, I really let myself go. I didn't just fall off the wagon, I fell underneath it.

All day I felt physically ill, and this is no doubt due to my insulin levels. Thats it for me, I am back to vegetables and salads and cottage cheese. Im sure it wont take me as long to get back to what I was, but I kid you not, I feel fatter now than ever before! I know this is all in my head, but my head has had a huge battering, and this just doesn't help. I let myself down...

Time to make things up. I plan to do some more physical exercise tomorrow. I have a flare up in my shoulder of bursitis, but I don't care, I will be reporting something in tomorrows report.


See you tomorrow... Another new day, and new chances.

Please, if you spot something I could be doing better, please, please, PLEASE let me know. I am asking, and with around 2530+ views, I know someone is looking at these posts, so anything you can share will be eagerly appreciated! As mentioned before, I would love any advice, words, anything that would make this go as quickly and honestly as possible.

I love your comments! Truly! So shout out and say hello!

Day One Hundred and Six done! Day One Hundred and Seven is almost here!! Back to the track!

Love you all... you just didn't know it!

- Shifty

[SoccerGrok]

Hey Buddy:-) You will get past this, and you will look back on it and smile:-) Just know that whenever you land under the bus, remember to cover your head...Hahahaha! Besides, I don't think being under the bus can be any worse than when you endoed on your friends bike. I seem to recall ol Shifty bouncing back from that pretty strong. Lifestyle change, and not DIET! Just like I tell "The Revolution", from every mistake we make, find two or three positives from it and use it to make you stronger/wiser. Free Your Mind, and Your Grok will follow...

Cheers,
SoccerGrok

[shifty1]

Thanks SG...

You always put everything in perspective. Great lessons...

-Shifty

[shifty1]

Day One Hundred and Seven:

Been waking up early every day, getting up and out of bed by 7am. Its been my attempt to try and bring my sleeping back under control. It also helps that I have been sleeping outside. Kinda hard to sleep in when the sun is in your face. Over here, its finally cooled off, and we are going into winter. Luckily I have a few blankets and it helps to keep warm at night. Definitely easier to keep warm than to cool off.

Today was a totally on track day. Breakfast was a protein shake, with some cottage cheese as a follow up. Lunch was some chicken wings. I ate about 7 before I felt full, and followed up with some salad. Dinner was some more salad and yogurt thrown in. I realise I need to get back around to preparing my food before the school prepares there. I have gotten a little slack with that.

Spent alot of today in my room, just chilling,writing and hanging out on the computer. I have not done that for the longest time. I have been keeping a low profile since I don't want to run into the ex. Sooner she leaves, the better..

No exercise today. !00 days and I am still making excuses.

See you tomorrow... Another new day, and new chances.

Please, if you spot something I could be doing better, please, please, PLEASE let me know. I am asking, and with around 2530+ views, I know someone is looking at these posts, so anything you can share will be eagerly appreciated! As mentioned before, I would love any advice, words, anything that would make this go as quickly and honestly as possible.

I love your comments! Truly! So shout out and say hello!

Day One Hundred and Seven done! Day One Hundred and Eight is almost here!! Back to the track!

Love you all... you just didn't know it!

- Shifty