Daugter's food at daycare page

[ShannonPA-S]

My daughter is getting close to 3 years old now. She has a history of gut issues -- diarrhea until she went on the GAPS diet from about 16 months to 2 years old. With the diet and strong probiotics, the diarrhea, gas, bloating resolved and has not returned. Now, however, she is dealing with some allergies/repeated colds that caused repeated ear infections -- and dairy-free for several months did not help (to my surprise). She now has ear tubes.

I introduced rice and rice crackers at about 2 years old and she's done fine. I wanted her to be able to have some crackers at daycare. She was gluten-free until about a month ago when she started saying she didn't want to take lunch to daycare anymore. The daycare lady was making her eggs cooked in butter for lunch for a couple weeks, but in the last week, she has expressed interest in eating what everyone else does. Examples include mac&cheese with veg and fruit, pasta w/ marinara and veg, grilled chicken tenders with green beans and baked fries, etc. The food is definitely healthier than many places as it's a home daycare and she tries to serve as much unprocessed food as possible -- but it's still hard for me because I know why gluten is bad . Snacks are generally almonds or cheese and fruit or whole milk yogurt with berries.

I do not want my daughter to grow up feeling like she can't be like other kids. She is a sensitive girl. Granted, normal isn't healthy in this country. No diarrhea, sleep issues, new ear infections, bloating, or gas has resulted in her eating this food for a week or so. Assuming she appears to be doing fine, should I just let it go? I don't want to give her a complex about food at 3 years old.

Thanks in advance.

[canio6]

Speaking as someone totally unqualified (ie. I have no kids), I'd let it go. The food seems pretty healthy and if your little one is not getting jacked up by it then let the kid eat. It's not like she is eating nothing but fruit roll ups, gold fish crackers, and other crap. Also at 3 I am not sure she is ready to understand why food is 'bad' when the other kids eat it just fine. Honestly, I am impressed with your day care provider. She is going way beyond what most care givers would do.

[Melody]

speaking as a mother of two with a bajillion food allergies/celiacs, who cares if she doesn't want to bring her own lunch? you're the mom, you control her food. you know that what she is eating is unhealthy (gluten). IMO it sounds like you're trying to rationalize things for yourself.

[ShannonPA-S]

Thank you. I do feel really blessed that my daycare provider tries to make things as healthy as she knows how. She even uses real butter and organic eggs (yes, I know organic eggs aren't pastured, but it's a start). She also buys local grassfed beef (1/2 of a cow at a time) that she makes burgers and meatballs out of...so she's trying.

I agree at 3 my daughter doesn't know why food is bad. Her doctor said to take her off dairy because of the ear infections. We explained it to her and she was okay with it. She kept asking for yogurt and cheese, but would say, "When will the doctor say I can have yogurt and cheese again?" After she ended up with yet another ear infection (after getting tubes), I just gave up with the dairy restriction. She seems no better or worse with it.

[ShannonPA-S]

speaking as a mother of two with a bajillion food allergies/celiacs, who cares if she doesn't want to bring her own lunch? you're the mom, you control her food. you know that what she is eating is unhealthy (gluten). IMO it sounds like you're trying to rationalize things for yourself.

I am not trying to rationalize it; I'm trying to reconcile my opinions on food (gluten) without giving my (non-allergic) kid a food complex.

I am the mom and I am in control -- if I say she can't have gluten, she can't. The daycare lady adheres to whatever I say. But I can't help but think that some amount of excessive control in a nonallergic kid could possibly cause other (psychological) damage. Maybe I'm wrong.

[jkr]

Speaking as a mother of a 12 year old, are you really letting your 2 year old dictate that lunch will be toxic? Letting her eat these things will only make her sicker. If she didn't have health problems and the junk food was once a week or less, then sure, I'd let my kid have it. This is not the case though. What you should do is take a few steps back (increase broth and fermented foods) instead of incorporating SAD foods.

I totally get that it gets tiring, as I did GAPS with my daughter for her eczema. It completely cleared and stayed that way for a year until I let junk at friends creep back in and wasn't consistent with fermented foods. It's back now and it's our own fault.

Now's the time for you to take a deep breath and do what you know is needed.

[Midlyfechrysalis]

I don't want to be critical of you - but are you certain you eliminated all dairy for more than 21 days? Dairy is found in many things, and her symptoms (as you clearly already know) are classic dairy allergy.

I used to own and operate home daycare businesses. One in AZ and one in TX. I didn't allow outside food because it became a nightmare with one parent bringing lunchables and one bringing brown rice and tofu. Ultimately, I went on the "food program" to help make some additional income and allow me to keep my adult to child ratio low. The food program then dictated the parameters of my menu.

Here's the deal. Since you have to use daycare, you really have limited say about her life during those hours. I'm not saying that to be difficult (I am a work outside the home mom now myself) but just to state reality. I think I'd encourage you to allow your dd to eat what she wants at daycare and custom the rest of her meals to the healthiest primal you can.

[canio6]

Not to be rude but the OP said,

my (non-allergic) kid

. The food listed had what, a little pasta and some oven fries? It isn't like she is feeding the kid rat poison or beating her with a wire hanger.

[loafingcactus]

I do not want my daughter to grow up feeling like she can't be like other kids. She is a sensitive girl. Granted, normal isn't healthy in this country

Im sorry, but I think this statement is jacked up. You can contribute to the "sensitive" or you can demonstrate thatnyou don't give a damn about it andnyou expect her to make good choices. In this case good choices that won't lead to an early grave.

This "sensitive" thing just really gets my goat because I had a mother who gave no time to it, I didn't even know what "sensitive" was until I finally figured out why so many adults couldn't just put their head down and get things done. it is the #1 single best thing my mother did for my life.

[sevsie]

its a really hard one as a mum as i am going through the exact same thing. my son is 2 and 2 months. Suffered really badly with excema since weaning him from breast feeding @ 6 months. Have now for the past 4 months put him on the gaps diet / paleo and with help from a herbalist, fish oil and pro biotics his excema has pretty much gone. He started nursery 3 weeks ago and i made it very clear he was to have no gluten and no dairy. ( he has lots of ghee and home and it has done wonders for his health) They have been really good and have stuck to there word. Ive also taken in a bar of 90% dark chocolate for him so at snack time or birthday cake time when the other children are having biscuits and cake he has a peice of the good stuff. He does have some rice and potatos with his lunch and i am fine with that. He doesnt have rice at home but literally were prob talking once a week if that at nursery.

I refuse to go backwards and let his excema get horribly bad again. he stil has a little bit of excema but with time and patience it should go. Dont give in fo ease if your not happy with that. Mac and cheese etc just fills me with dred, all that rank milk and gluten... To be honest my son wouldnt prob eat it as he doesnt like cheese and hates the texture of pasta.

Good luck and keep us posted