The Wife is RIGHT - Otter's Log page 39

[ottercat]

MONDAY
Bfast: sausage/cabbage/braised cabbage hash, coffee
Lunch: more of the same
Dinner: beef tongue curry over cauliflower rice, 2 sheets of nori w/ cauliflower rice, dried cherries

ARRRRRrrrrgghhhh.

Is it because it's the depths of winter and has been -20 since we got back from vacation (ok, there was a 2 day respite)? Lack of sunlight? Was sad and angry today because I feel like a complete failure at everything. I was head of the multimedia programming department at a great little company, making $75K before bonuses when I decided to move home. I got a thankless job $30k with a control-freak boss and then decided that I wanted to go back to grad school! What an asshole. I totally squandered my 30's in fucking grad school, going from lab to lab.... now I'm doing computer modeling and I have no idea what I'm doing! My last advisor dumped me six weeks before I was supposed to defend... I had my thesis written, but today, somehow, nothing is written. Now, I'm infertile and can't even get it together to lose 10lbs. Fuck you, Otter.

That was my day. I did stick to the diet plan, except for a block of chocolate about three hours after lunch. Also, I chose to play video games instead of getting my workout in. I did notice other people are having bouts of sadness/anger; I think we're all cycling together, lol.

Eat clean, get moving and it will get better............................................ ........

[Cave Woman]

Great getting back on the horse, Ottercat! Those first days are the hardest, and when you feel like crap (from eating crap) it is extra hard to stay on track. A bit of dark chocolate and some exercise can be just what you need to move through it.

It will get better!

[ottercat]

Great getting back on the horse, Ottercat! Those first days are the hardest, and when you feel like crap (from eating crap) it is extra hard to stay on track. A bit of dark chocolate and some exercise can be just what you need to move through it.

It will get better!

Yes, i need to remember that it takes a couple of days to undo the damage. That and I have to be in a bathing suit in public next week =/

[drssgchic]

*Hug!* These things happen. It will get better, just like it always has before. And, I hate to break it to you- but give your penchant for working out, even if you have those last 10# that you hate, I bet you'll still look better than most of the bathing-suited population

[ottercat]

TUESDAY
Bfast: skipped
Lunch: leftover curry over cauli-rice
Dinner: pork chop w/ roasted asparagus and cabbage slaw
Activity: roller derby workout video

I have been thinking about self-control. I read about a study where they tested kids by placing a marshmallow in front of them, telling them that they would get another one if they waited, and then leaving the room. They filmed the kids resisting (or not) and much later, they went back and did some personality profiles, etc. I immediately pictured myself as a four year old in that situation. Someone once said, "I was born a little old man" and that pretty much summed me up. If they put me in that room, I probably would have said solemnly, "I don't like raw marshmallows".

Much like Benjamin Boring, I have become more and more free and childlike as I age. If you've suffered through most of this journal, you've seen how I don't exercise any self-control at all. I guess I had it in my head that I should just want to eat clean and never be tempted by Diet Pepsi Max or breaded things fried in soy oil. I mean, I resist things that I habitually never buy, like Pop-Tarts, but if it's something I used to regularly buy (like Diet Pepsi Max) I just tell myself I have no willpower.

I'm reading about everyone dealing with carb-flu after the holidays and doing their Whole 30's. Of COURSE everybody is tempted and exercising self-control. I don't even get carb flu so I really have no excuses.............except laziness. I'm not going to be lazy anymore, I'm going to make an effort. I'm realistic, I'm sure there will be more Weekends of Destruction, but I know I have to be more consistently good to make progress!

So today, I really didn't feel like going to practice again, but instead of arguing with myself, I got all taped up, loaded up my gear, and drove half and hour to practice. Only to find out it had been cancelled due to the cold. I came home and did my DVD workout instead. I worked out hard, it was good.

[PrimalWriter]

{{{hugs}}} Otter. I can relate--I'm just a few days into feeling better, living better, and yesterday's lunch was SAD crap because when a coworker walked into my office aournd the time I should have been getting BACK from lunch and said "I'm going to (insert name here), want anything?" the BA salad ingredients I had in the breakroom refrigerator lost all appeal. Which was dumb, because the SAD lunch was....well, worse than SAD.

Does the fact that you'll be in public in a bathing suit in a week mean you'll be someplace warm and sunny? Maybe that will help a bit...although I'm guessing the emotional stress you're going through isn't helping in the least.

On another topic....convince me I can eat organ meats and enjoy them. Or tongue. I remember having things like this as a kid, but frankly the thought sort of nauseates me today...

Lorena
(PrimalWriter: my journal is....somewhere. I really must figure out the signature thing. My primal journey, recipes, notes on food and primal vs SAD)

[ottercat]

{{{hugs}}} Otter. I can relate--I'm just a few days into feeling better, living better, and yesterday's lunch was SAD crap because when a coworker walked into my office aournd the time I should have been getting BACK from lunch and said "I'm going to (insert name here), want anything?" the BA salad ingredients I had in the breakroom refrigerator lost all appeal. Which was dumb, because the SAD lunch was....well, worse than SAD.

Ugh, salads in winter have no appeal for me!

Does the fact that you'll be in public in a bathing suit in a week mean you'll be someplace warm and sunny? Maybe that will help a bit...although I'm guessing the emotional stress you're going through isn't helping in the least.

I've signed up for a swimming class! I've always liked water and swimming, but aside from Red Cross swim classes I never learned HOW. El Hubbo is a great swimmer. I figure if he's taking ice skating lessons so he can skate with me, I should take swimming lessons so I can swim with him =).

On another topic....convince me I can eat organ meats and enjoy them. Or tongue. I remember having things like this as a kid, but frankly the thought sort of nauseates me today...

First, tell yourself how nutritious offal is! Next, get some good grass-fed beef heart and watch some YouTube videos on how to prepare it (have to cut all the fat off the outside and the membrane off the inside). Grind it up and add to ground beef! Easy! Tongue is super delectables, very succulent and beefy. Since it's muscle, the texture isn't weird and grainy like some offal can be and it tastes like muscle. It is, however, disgusting to prepare! But once it's boiled and peeled (I scrape off the inner layer of tastebuds too), you just cut it up into chunks, fry it to get a nice crispy crust and it is awesome. Chicken liver is probably the easiest to start with. Soak in milk for several hours and then either make pate or wrap in bacon and bake until crispy. US Wellness meats also sells braunschweiger/liverwurst, which has lots of spices in it so it's less liver-y. Offal is tasty! you should try it!

[ottercat]

WEDNESDAY
Bfast: sausage/cabbage/egg scramble, coffee w/ coconut milk
Snack: dried cherries, slice of swiss cheese
Lunch: bell pepper w/ moose pate, cauli-rice sushi w/ sardines
Activity: walk
Dinner: 1/2 a rib eye steak, roasted broccoli and mushrooms, gluten free roll, dried cherries, small scoop ice cream

I usually roll out of bed and start working and don't shower until mid afternoon when I take a break and eat lunch. Today, I glanced at the thermometer and the temperature had gone from minus-Why-Do-I-Live-Here degrees to -2.9! I literally threw on my coat (and snowpants and scarf and earmuffs and hat) and ran outside to take a walk before it got dark out. It was a little shorter walk than the normal 3-miler, but it was lovely out with the snowy trees reflecting the sunset and it felt really good!

Ooooh! I found another diet thing to try for the next 30 days! Do a search for BulletProof Coffee, there are a couple of threads going on here at MDA. The Bulletproof method is basically Primal Blueprint except you skip breakfast and have a Bulletproof Coffee instead.

And a Bulletproof coffee is basically butter tea, but with coffee and no salt: 2c coffee (good stuff), 2T MCT oil (or coconut oil), 2T grassfed butter. Mix them violently in a blender. I'm having a cup right now. The oil doesn't separate out from the coffee and it tastes creamy like I added cream to it. I'm going to rush off to the supermarket and get some Kerrygold this afternoon since all I have is pastured, cultured, organic butter churned from the milk of the Silent Bovine Sisterhood of Asshai. Apparently Kerrygold is all grass-fed all the time; if it's nae Irish, it's crraap! or something like that. Coffee! Coffee! Coffee! Whee! Ok, maybe I should do half-caf tomorrow.

[bulletproofexec]

Looking forward to hearing how it goes!

The Bulletproof Diet is close to Primal Blueprint but it's also adjusted to account for and minimize other toxins and causes of inflammation (like mycotoxins and HCA) which are not covered in most Paleo/Primal stuff. (It did not derive from paleo thinking at all; it came from anti-aging and biochemistry, but the end result is pretty close. Nice!)

The CRITICAL factor in the coffee is the quality of the coffee. 91.7% of this year's S. American coffee crop tested positive for toxins from mold. "Good stuff" is probably not good. Here is how to find good stuff in your neighborhood: 3 Steps to Finding the Highest Performance Coffee in Your City | The Bulletproof Executive

Or, I just launched a carefully formulated coffee that is designed to be low toxin throughout the entire process of production. The difference in inflammation and cognitive performance is noticeable. (lots of tweets/feedback from peeps who try it).

The MCT I recommend has the capric and caprylic acid levels of SIX tablespoons of normal coconut oil. (there are 4 lengths of MCT; coconut is 60% those 4 lengths, but only 15% capric and caprylic). The difference is noticeable.

Happy drinking!

[winencandy]

Ooooh! I found another diet thing to try for the next 30 days! Do a search for BulletProof Coffee, there are a couple of threads going on here at MDA. The Bulletproof method is basically Primal Blueprint except you skip breakfast and have a Bulletproof Coffee instead.

Let us know how it goes. I won't be trying it. I HATE the taste of coffee.