Wow! What you have gone through! Primal is the place for you. Doing 80% is built in to the blueprint. Also sensible vices like dark chocolate.
Some people make Primal boring. But there are hundreds of yummy recipes. Can you involve your children in looking for good ones?
I am surprised that white rice made you sick. It is pretty neutral. Could it have been something else?
You can get lots of support here for not obsessing. I am looking forward to you being one of Mark's Success Stories!