Hi.

I am lurker that rarely posts, but I decided that I need some more accountability. So, here I am with my new primal journal! Hurrah! Hurrah!

The basics:
My name is Renae (big surprise)
I am 30
Live in Mpls, MN
Have a 22 month old son
Live with said son and a very non-primal significant other
Work as a case manager/social worker for folks with mental illness
I like to read non-fiction, learn random new things, walk
I get really pissed off when I people give me "everything in moderation" diet advice. Ha!
I have a real thing for "Crazy Train" and I also have a platonic crush on David Letterman

Historically, I have always been overweight. I mean, really fat for the entirety of my life. I was a fat kindergartner and grade schooler. I weighed 137 lbs in 3rd grade and 200 lbs by 6th grade and it has mostly gone up since then. In my second year of college, I weighed almost 300 lbs (I am 5'5"). I lost about 60 lbs in a very short time doing a strict Atkins diet. I maintained 240 for a few years and then went on Weight Watchers. I ate a no fat vegetarian diet, counted my points religiously and worked out at the gym for up to 2 hours per day. All that and I got down to 180lbs. I was miserable and the diet was not sustainable. I ballooned back up to 310lbs again over the period of a year or so. I went down to 240 again by doing the South Beach diet. I maintained a lax South Beach approach until I got pregnant. Though I am not 100% sure I have diagnosable PCOS, I have most of the symptoms of PCOS (aside from having a stable monthly period).

In the last 9 months, I have lost about 25 lbs (started at 245). My blood pressure is now in the borderline range. Previously, it had been high for the past 10 years. I noticed a huge improvement in weight loss when I cut out dairy and started to IF. I have a really hard time with noticing internal cues for hunger and satiety, so IFing has really helped me not think I am hungry every 2 hours or anytime there is food in front of my face.

Recently I have had increased issues with binge eating. I have had a long term problem with a binge eating disorder. I have gone to lots of therapy in my adult years to learn/understand a lot of the emotional reasons and to work on better coping skills than eating when I am unhappy, etc. Recently I have been struggling with that "all or nothing" mentality. If I have a non-primal food, such as a piece of candy, I feel as though I have ruined the day and just east whatever I want, usually something along the lines of donuts or cookies. My short term goal is to reduce binge eating episodes to once every 2 weeks. I am also wanting to reduce the duration. Recently, the binge time has lengthened. I am wanting to work on getting back on track immediately after a binge (i.e. if I have a binge at 4pm, I get back on track to eating a primal dinner).

It is almost humorous that even with all of the therapy I have gone to, the biggest changes have been as a result of beginning to eat primally. I have noticed a huge improvement in my binge eating since becoming primal. A high fat, low carb diet really does wonders for me. I still struggle with about 1 non-primal binge a week, but I am continually amazed and grateful for this primal way of eating and how it has changed/improved my emotional attachments to food.

Other interesting or not so interesting information:

Supplements I am currently taking:
Magnesium citrate 450 mg
Vit. C 100 mg
Saw Palmetto 320 mg
Vit. D 2,000 mg
Cinnamon 1000 mg
Fish oil
Turmeric

I plan to begin taking some zinc, chromium, and possibly the chastberry vitex.

Long term goals:
Get to my goal weight 140-150
Minimal binge episodes
Improved strength
Improved hormonal profile in hopes that if/when I have another child I do not struggle so much with low breastmilk production.

Short term goals:
Reduce non-primal binge episodes
Continue exercising 4-5 times weekly (sprinting 1x per week, walking, hula hooping, elliptical)
Start strength training/LHT. Do squats and lunges.
Post daily food intake here 3 times per week

I am trying to practice being gratitude, so I am going to list some things I am grateful for:
My baby/toddler son who teaches me so much on a daily basis
MDA and the forums!
stable, flexible employment and health insurance
Recent non-primal binges where I have felt like complete shit afterwards and the joints in my hands are swollen and achy (it is a good reminder of why SAD doesn't work for me)
Summer time beginning!
Living in a nice, socially progressive city with lots of Artsy stuff, a nice music scene, and lots of farmers markets/food coops


Thanks for reading!