Page 1 of 5 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 43

Thread: Nobody knows what i'd be without you... page

  1. #1
    rabraham2's Avatar
    rabraham2 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Jeffersonville, Indiana
    Posts
    113

    Nobody knows what i'd be without you...

    Primal Fuel
    Well, i've been on this forum before, and you all have been so overly helpful, that I can't express my gratitude enough. Today is the day that I start my journey, and transition myself from being the big girl who's always passed on swimming because she doesn't have a t-shirt to wear over her bathing suit, or passing on going to certain types of events because she doesn't think that the clothes she'd need to wear will fit her properly.

    I wasn't always big. When i was a kid, i was pretty normal sized.

    I also used to be outside playing all the time. I was a tomboy, running, jumping, climbing trees, that sort of thing. Sometime around the time that puberty hit, i started playing on the computer more, reading for pleasure and not just because i was told i had to for school, and i was watching more TV at night. At the same time, i also started to bored eat more. Having been used to being so active most of my time, I was (and still kind of am) fidgity when i had to just sit there, even if it was by choice.


    so as the years past, I started to gain weight, and my mother would try to get me to do every conventional wisdom diet out there, because simply watching what i eat and exersizing wasn't working. Now, before anybody tries to place the blame on her, It's not her fault. She did the best she could to get me well balanced home-cooked food for dinner every evening, and sandwiches and things of the like for school lunch instead of lunchables or school food. She was going to school full time for most of those years, and working full time for the rest, so she didn't always have time to cook. We did eat out a lot, but the majority of the time it was places like Bob Evans and O'Charlies. I know at Bob Evans i always got the turkey dinner, and O'Charlies i think i always got steak tips. that and the fact that when i was younger she would let me play until the sun went down and then do my homework is probably the reason i was so slim and healthy when i was a kid. Once i started to learn how to cook for myself, it was a lot of pasta and not as much running jumping climbing trees. We would order pizza at least once a week (they still do) and i always chose the school pizza at lunch. I only started getting chicken patties in the last year or two of high school.


    In College, things didn't get much better. I would try to get subway whenever i could, because i was of the understanding that it was good for me, and it was sure as hell better than the "college student ramen diet" although, i have eaten my fair share (if not more) of ramen....mmm...ramen. I would eat a lot of Peanut M&M's as well, and lots of McDonalds. Not a good thing. I worked at Panera Bread in 2008, and during that time i was going to the LAC (louisville athletic club), and despite busting my ass, i never lost a pound. that probably had to do with the bread i was eating at work. I do love me some Panera Bread. Baked Potato Soup and a Sourdough Bread Bowl. sooooooooo delicious.


    So this is me, today, as I type this. Like it says on the picture, I don't know my actual measurements, but those are good estimates. It sounds like the average measurements from when i was going to curves. I am so ready to shed this weight, and get to where i feel i should have been this whole time. I had a good beginning, but i screwed it up with all of the pasta, and bread and sugary delights. I'm not looking to get super model skinny. I don't even want to be really thin. I want to be able to take down my boyfriend when we sparr, I want to know i can defend myself if (god forbid) someone attacked me. I want to feel good about myself when i swim, even if it's in the privacy of my own back yard. I want to be able to look at my naked body in the mirror, and admire the artistic beauty of the curves as i do so many others, instead of averting my eyes as not to start crying. I want to be able to hear my boyfriend call me his beautiful angel, and not be in my own mind questioning why he says such lies, and how he could possibly see beauty in a fat slob such as myself. My goal is to be able to see what everybody i care about seems to see, and to be healthy and fit. I'm 23 years old, i should not be so exausted just by driving to work in the morning, and feeling like i could have a heart attack any day.

    well, now that i got all of that out. My day has started out pretty good. My breakfast consisted of some beef jerkey ( i didn't have enough time to make breakfast. it was either that or shower) and a large spig of small red seedless grapes and a cup and a half of coffee sweetened with Sweet Leaf 100% natural stevia sweetener (tasty stuff) I know i was told i need to stay away from the fruit at first, but we just got the grapes yesterday, and they are so perfectly taunt, crisp, juicy, and sweet i just couldn't pass them up. Once i get started eating grapes, i can eat an entire bag of them in one sitting. For lunch, i have a salad of fresh cucumber, carrot, romaine lettuce with Simply Dressed all natural Caesar Dressing, a sandwich of pulled leftover pot roast wrapped in a romaine lettuce leaf, and sauteed broccoli and carrots, sauteed in olive oil and lemon juice with garlic. Sooo hungry. lol. I know i need to add more red meat into my diet, but as of right now, that's going to have to wait. I'm too broke to afford to buy steak and ground beef. I'll do the best i can with what we have at home, though.

    My boyfriend Justin told me last night that he is proud of me for taking this leap. I almost started crying when he told me that. Every one of my other boyfriends, when i mentioned wanting to loose weight or watch what i eat, they would tell me "oh, you look fine the way you are. i love you the way you are. you shouldn't change yourself." Justin is the only one who's told me that he loves me the way that i am, but also told me that he supports my decisions to better myself, and will be there for me through the transition. Justin-If you read this at any point, I love you so very much my dearest prince. You are the very best thing in my life, and I don't know that i could have made this leap without you there to catch me.
    Last edited by rabraham2; 05-22-2011 at 07:59 AM.
    A rose by any other name.


  2. #2
    rabraham2's Avatar
    rabraham2 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Jeffersonville, Indiana
    Posts
    113
    So, I just went on a 15-20 minute bike ride through the campground. I thought "it's a lovely day outside, the sun is bright, i just got done eating, and i'm not busy....let's go for a ride!"

    .............



    I think i almost died...I don't have nearly enough protein for the day, i know that much. Otherwise i felt good before I went. Hell, i feel better than i have in a while simply from not smoking. And i feel full now compared to how i felt before i went. I felt somewhat content, but not full, not like i'd eaten enough. And i so just pulled what i think was a tick off my shoulder. Luckily....it was on the outside of the shirt. Yay for being outdoors!

    Anyway, i got winded pretty damn easily....definitely wasn't about to bike up no damn incline. That kind of hurt. So here i sit on my exercise ball, resting my knees since they hurt the most.

  3. #3
    rabraham2's Avatar
    rabraham2 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Jeffersonville, Indiana
    Posts
    113
    So I was starving when i left work. i met my boyfriend at Steak N Shake, and had a double steak burger (no bun) with cheese, and a salad. Coffee to drink with my stevia sweetener. i was, and still am, still very hungry. I'm making steaks and veggies for tomorrow, and i'm about to scramble up some eggs to eat now.
    A rose by any other name.


  4. #4
    belinda's Avatar
    belinda is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    London, Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    1,507
    You're off to a good start! Your appetite will start to come under control as you transition.

    Yay for having a supportive partner
    Newcomers: If you haven't read the book, at least read this thread ... and all the links!
    http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread17722.html

    F/49/5'4"
    Jan. 1, 2011: 186.6 lbs PBSW Mar. 1, 2011: 175.8 lbs
    CW: 146.8 lbs
    GW 140 lbs
    A proud member of PETA: People Eating Tasty Animals

  5. #5
    rabraham2's Avatar
    rabraham2 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Jeffersonville, Indiana
    Posts
    113
    Alright, so I took my measurements just now. I was only off by a little bit. My upper arm is 15 1/8, Bust is 45 5/8, Waist is 40 2/8, Hips are 50.5, Thigh is 27.5, and my calf is 16. All in inches of course. Not a bad guess, if i do say so myself. I'm so ashamed of my hips. I'm really not sure how far down they'll go seeing as i am Italian by heritage, only 1/4th, but it comes out in the hips for sure. I say this because you can poke them, and your finger only depresses a little bit, as opposed to my thigh or upper arm, where if you poke it, your finger depresses pretty deeply. I had my eggs cooked in butter with cheese, and my god in heaven they were the most delicious eggs i've ever had. I was bad, though, and put ketchup on them.
    A rose by any other name.


  6. #6
    aktres's Avatar
    aktres is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    New York City
    Posts
    727
    Try salsa instead of ketchup. And have some avocado with it. You're doing great!

  7. #7
    RitaRose's Avatar
    RitaRose is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Nevada
    Posts
    3,952
    +1 for avocados; they're my lifeline. They feel like you're doing something so very wrong, but they're good for you.

    But it sounds like you're doing great! Having a supportive partner is a huge asset.
    My sorely neglected blog - http://ThatWriterBroad.com

  8. #8
    rabraham2's Avatar
    rabraham2 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Jeffersonville, Indiana
    Posts
    113
    I've tried salsa before, it made me want to gag. I'll make my own katchup when i have the money to go shopping, i'm broke at the moment, though, so i can't even afford a can of tomato sauce
    A rose by any other name.


  9. #9
    aktres's Avatar
    aktres is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    New York City
    Posts
    727
    Ok, well one step at a time. You're doing great! Keep it up.

  10. #10
    rabraham2's Avatar
    rabraham2 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Jeffersonville, Indiana
    Posts
    113
    PrimalCon New York
    Thanks guys. I might give salsa another try sometime. I could still use some advice on beef jerkey. Like, i don't have the means of making my own, so what brand is suggested.
    A rose by any other name.


Page 1 of 5 123 ... LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •