Page 8 of 38 FirstFirst ... 67891018 ... LastLast
Results 71 to 80 of 380

Thread: Quelsen the African Honey Badger goes Primal page 8

  1. #71
    naiadknight's Avatar
    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Odessa/ Midland, TX
    Posts
    12,910
    Shop Now
    No one saw the marks and we never said anything under the threat that they'd split us up if we were taken into foster care. I figured I could raise my siblings well enough to get us out of there without the state taking away our support system. Not horribly long after I took the knife away from Mom, I wrote her a letter and left it on the table, saying all the things I didn't dare say to her face. Dad found it first and told me "never do anything to upset or sadden your mother, otherwise, she might go through with it." To this day, I don't know that she knows what she did to us.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  2. #72
    quelsen's Avatar
    quelsen is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Lexington Kentucky
    Posts
    2,972
    Captains Log:
    Supplemental

    I am exhausted. Not suprising as i didnt get much sleep last night, however my emotional disturbance has also taken its toll. So much for any of my plans. I guess this is why i has grilled 6 NY stips on Sunday i figured it was excessive then LOL guess i needed the chance to rest up. I will also have to be at work an extra hour that i was not expecting so iwill go home and finish Game of thrones and go to bed. Tomorrow is another day
    Optimum Health powered by Actualized Self-Knowledge.

    Predator not Prey
    Paleo Ketogenic Lifestyle

    CW 315 | SW 506
    Current Jeans 46 | Starting Jeans 66


    Contact me: quelsen@gmail.com

  3. #73
    NourishedEm's Avatar
    NourishedEm is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Perth, Australia
    Posts
    2,680
    Oh my dear, I don't know what to say. Your story makes me feel physically sick and emotionally wrung out. I don't have any words of wisdom, I don't really think anything I could say would make any difference anyway. I just wish I could give you an enormous hug.

  4. #74
    periquin's Avatar
    periquin is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Uruguay
    Posts
    1,367
    Are you familiar with information theory? Turing and his "machines"?

    A Turing machine can have a specific design capability. It also will exist in some 'state' or condition. The result of any input depends on what that input is, the present state of the machine, and the design capability. Turing machines are cut and dried.

    We humans are not as rigorously defined as Turing machines.

    We do have specific design capabilities.

    So far, a human body can do only so many things in only so many ways and there you have it. (The 'so far' bit is thrown in there for the 'we haven't attained our full capabilities' crowd. Maybe they are right. Maybe someday I will learn to walk through walls with no damage to me or the wall.)

    Each person is in some state or condition.

    This is based on present feelings, past history, present knowledge. Perhaps other things I am not allowing in my box.

    So do we always react the same way? No. Unlike a Turing machine, we have the capability to choose our response to an input. We have options.

    We are able to redesign our machine. Some state this a different way--We are able to reprogram our machine. It isn't always an easy thing, but we are not bound by our past. We are not even bound by our present condition or state. We are beings with the ability to choose our reactions to stimuli.

    This is a mathematical attempt to tell you that you can put all of that history behind you and live easier and better. My life has had different problems than yours. It hasn't been a gentle walk or a pleasant lope or run. It has been a terrifying steeple chase through heavy wilderness instead of on a designed track. When I look back I count all of the bad as learning experiences, not as things to dictate my character. Wasn't easy to get this way, but it is attainable.

    I think that you are doing well with it too. Just don't let the occasional artifacts of evil get to you.
    Tayatha om bekandze

    Bekandze maha bekandze

    Randza samu gate soha

  5. #75
    quelsen's Avatar
    quelsen is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Lexington Kentucky
    Posts
    2,972
    Quote Originally Posted by periquin View Post
    Are you familiar with information theory? Turing and his "machines"?....When I look back I count all of the bad as learning experiences, not as things to dictate my character. Wasn't easy to get this way, but it is attainable.

    I think that you are doing well with it too. Just don't let the occasional artifacts of evil get to you.
    Well written sir.

    I will say try as i might i have difficulty attaching "lesson" to my first 17 years. however i may simply be "unconsciously competent" in that area.

    I admit that most of my focus has been on an attempt to reprogram my phenotype. It is only in the last 5 years that I have focused on my psychological capabilities. Between the two i have had infinitely more succes in the mind than in the body. :-)
    Optimum Health powered by Actualized Self-Knowledge.

    Predator not Prey
    Paleo Ketogenic Lifestyle

    CW 315 | SW 506
    Current Jeans 46 | Starting Jeans 66


    Contact me: quelsen@gmail.com

  6. #76
    quelsen's Avatar
    quelsen is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Lexington Kentucky
    Posts
    2,972
    Captains Log:
    Stardate: 05050.0906

    Yesterdays Tsunami has receeded and much like the litany against fear, I have remained. Eating Intuitivly led me to a dinner of scallops oysters and crab meat in a goat cheese sauce with Habenero peppers. Finished the eighth episode of game of thrones. They have somehow made Khal Drogo way more badass and adrmirable in the show than in the book for me. I admire this one

    New Bone stock is simmering in the crock. I will add water to it today and let to go until saturday i think. My beef somehow had 4 hearts and 5 tongues LOL so i think I may go ahead and make some heart stew with this broth.

    The weather is kind here i wish i could spend more time in it. This is a day a woudl prefer to work from home , or not work as the case may be.

    Now if i could figure out why i am so tired. i do need 8.5 a night and i have been waking at 3 each night for a couple of weeks. not certain why yet




    I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
    Optimum Health powered by Actualized Self-Knowledge.

    Predator not Prey
    Paleo Ketogenic Lifestyle

    CW 315 | SW 506
    Current Jeans 46 | Starting Jeans 66


    Contact me: quelsen@gmail.com

  7. #77
    naiadknight's Avatar
    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Odessa/ Midland, TX
    Posts
    12,910
    Dune. Nice. I've recited something very similar in the same way a Catholic uses the rosary.
    Fear is nothing worth time. Fear is nothing worth me. Fear is when I am used up, spent, and broken. Fear is not. Love is. Fear is not. Truth is. Fear gets you nowhere and Doing gets you everything. Fear not, only be.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  8. #78
    quelsen's Avatar
    quelsen is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Lexington Kentucky
    Posts
    2,972
    Quote Originally Posted by naiadknight View Post
    Dune. Nice. I've recited something very similar in the same way a Catholic uses the rosary.
    +1
    Optimum Health powered by Actualized Self-Knowledge.

    Predator not Prey
    Paleo Ketogenic Lifestyle

    CW 315 | SW 506
    Current Jeans 46 | Starting Jeans 66


    Contact me: quelsen@gmail.com

  9. #79
    naiadknight's Avatar
    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Odessa/ Midland, TX
    Posts
    12,910
    So long as you master fear and do not let it master you, you're doing better than 90% of the population.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  10. #80
    quelsen's Avatar
    quelsen is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Lexington Kentucky
    Posts
    2,972
    I think that Harry Dresden taught me a huge lesson about how to deal with fear. Turn it into anger, use that anger to fuel positive change.
    Optimum Health powered by Actualized Self-Knowledge.

    Predator not Prey
    Paleo Ketogenic Lifestyle

    CW 315 | SW 506
    Current Jeans 46 | Starting Jeans 66


    Contact me: quelsen@gmail.com

Page 8 of 38 FirstFirst ... 67891018 ... LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •