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Thread: Quelsen the African Honey Badger goes Primal page 31

  1. #301
    Ealachan's Avatar
    Ealachan is offline Member
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    I basically only come back to these forums nowadays to check up on you. You're an inspiration, as always. I don't honestly believe that I'd been able to get to the point I'm at in my journey without having found your posts and starting to educate myself as a result of them.

    Live long and prosper, friend.

    xx
    --
    Half-assed Primal on and off for a couple years. Started back in earnest in January 2012.
    Leptin Reset started 2/29/12
    5'11" - Female - 32 Y/O
    HW: 410+ SW: 375 CW: 340-ish
    goals acheived thus far: Have ditched high-blood pressure medicine, was able to comfortably fit into a plane seat for my vacation in August 2012.

  2. #302
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    Mud Flinger is offline Senior Member
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    Welcome to the new you! So much of what you said rang a bell with me. While I was never close to your size or issues, I can remember a time when airline travel was something to avoid as the seats are small, the tray table could not lay flat and the seat belt did not fit without an extender. I am a work in progress also, but am so happy to have moved past so many of those things.

  3. #303
    quelsen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mud Flinger View Post
    Welcome to the new you! So much of what you said rang a bell with me. While I was never close to your size or issues, I can remember a time when airline travel was something to avoid as the seats are small, the tray table could not lay flat and the seat belt did not fit without an extender. I am a work in progress also, but am so happy to have moved past so many of those things.
    i used ot have to fly regularly for my work. i was fortunate to have a manager who was also "Wide Ass Class" as he used to put it. and two tickets were just standard.

    interestingly after slimming down a bit and on an undersold flight i was escorted off of southwest airline because my shoulder touched the nearest seat.... i have decided that if i ever make enough money i wil buy southwest... then fire everyone. totally willing to take the loss to make up for that bullshit.... no one was going to sit next to me on that flight... but just like the Nazi's Rules are Rules
    Optimum Health powered by Actualized Self-Knowledge.

    Predator not Prey
    Paleo Ketogenic Lifestyle

    CW 315 | SW 506
    Current Jeans 46 | Starting Jeans 66


    Contact me: quelsen@gmail.com

  4. #304
    Mud Flinger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by quelsen View Post
    interestingly after slimming down a bit and on an undersold flight i was escorted off of southwest airline because my shoulder touched the nearest seat.... i have decided that if i ever make enough money i wil buy southwest... then fire everyone. totally willing to take the loss to make up for that bullshit.... no one was going to sit next to me on that flight... but just like the Nazi's Rules are Rules
    Thanks for the input. I have a "prefered vendor" list and a blacklist. You can guess which one Southwest just made and they were a potential for my future travel as they have just added Akron/Canton to their list of destinations. I guess I'll be sticking with Frontier.

  5. #305
    quelsen's Avatar
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    Stardate 07350.1429

    Ok so it hit me. i know why i am stalled so close to the beginning of Round 8 of HCG.

    this is the weight i was at when it was the "famine times" at "casa du goins"

    My parents kicked me out of the house at the age of 18 For the longest time i have told myself it was 17 but the calculator cant lie. it was April 1990. immediately after graduation my father gave me two choices. I could become a missionary or get a job. My parents never intended me to go to college and such thoughts were prohibited by every part of my upbringing. I never even considered sitting the SAT or ACT and it did not occur to me that i could actually go to the local college as a hardship case and have almost zero tuition until i was firmly established in the adult world.

    In the beginning of my Sophomore year of high school i realized two things. #1 my parents had not prepared me for life outside the home. #2 the end of the world was not in fact coming as they had told me all my life, or if it was i was going to be an adult by the time it did and i really really really needed to get the fuck away from that house before my mother killed me. So I tok vocational school for the next three years to learn a trade that did not include scrubbing toilets. My father was very successful at that trade and while i knew it well i know that i was not about to spend any more than the decade i had already spent doing it. I did not want his business and especially didnt want the continued tie with the family that had treated me to horribly.

    I had found a detail drafter job locally and was working my way from board work to AUTOCAD work. With the job came "adult" responsibilities, such as rent. My father began charging me 25% of my income for the room that i had lived in for years and i was to buy my own food as well. I was not making a killing, but it was allowing me to save up money so that i could move out, which was my goal as soon as things got stable... HA!

    April 1990 i woke and went to the kitchen to eat before work and my father was on the couch. he worked 20 hours most days to seeing him on the couch was not a big deal. He woke, turned his head to me and said flatly, "get out of my house and never come back"

    it is interesting how time and objectivity can reduce almost any emotion to a non event. however in that moment i remember dying inside. it was one of the worst days of my life. I calmly advised him that i didnt think i made enough money. i had been researching for this eventuality but i was not yet ready to make the move. he didnt care and said he would pay my car insurance and that i just needed to get out that day.

    I went to work and broke down. I only had 30 minutes to do it in as i was usually early to work. I then found an apartment, a cousin signed for the water company and i got my stuff from my room and never again set foot inside that house.

    I took home $400.00 monthly, rent was $375 monthly. I know i was fortunate to have a job as i could have lived on the street. so far i have not ever had to walk that path.

    however i still had to pay water, gas for the car, etc. this is the time when i started the habit of sacrificing food first. car repair? eat later... medicine? eat later....
    $25.00 monthly for gas, toiletries, etc... and food. for three years that is the way it was for me.

    and here i am today at that weight. Many mysterious things have been happening which point to this time in my life, stuff that makes no sense in any context... and now this is day 5 that i have been at the same weight...

    tonight i intend to eat more and see what happens... i think that my body is fearful that it is starving again.
    Optimum Health powered by Actualized Self-Knowledge.

    Predator not Prey
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    CW 315 | SW 506
    Current Jeans 46 | Starting Jeans 66


    Contact me: quelsen@gmail.com

  6. #306
    Jac's Avatar
    Jac
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    Oh god, Honey Badger - my heart weeps for that 18 year old boy. I guess yours is, too, or you wouldn't be revisiting the trauma. The body never forgets, does it? Feeding your inner boy some soul-nourishing, satisfying food sounds like the very best of plans. Arohanui (much love) from over the seas.
    Started Feb 18 2011

    Journalling here

    "There's a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path" - Morpheus

  7. #307
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    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
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    Unfortunately, my mutterings of sympathy and squawks of outrage don't come out well across the web and sound kinda chintzy being typed out after the fact. I sympathize with you wholeheartedly. Feed the body well and it'll remember feast days. It may take a while to remind it that, while winter is coming, starvation is not.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  8. #308
    quelsen's Avatar
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    so ..... minus 3 this morning.

    what i ate
    8 oz burger
    slice of Parmesan cheese
    coco crack

    for those not in the know that is about 3 meals on HCG
    Optimum Health powered by Actualized Self-Knowledge.

    Predator not Prey
    Paleo Ketogenic Lifestyle

    CW 315 | SW 506
    Current Jeans 46 | Starting Jeans 66


    Contact me: quelsen@gmail.com

  9. #309
    Goldie's Avatar
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    Isn't that less than your age 18 weight now, Quelsen? How does that feel (and I don't mean just physically). It seems like a milestone!

  10. #310
    quelsen's Avatar
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    10 more pounds to go. 310 is the weight i remember in the kroger that day... as it is however my body is responding to impulses that in the past would simply have been thoughts. makes me wonder if it had been trying too all this time. This morning i felt like skipping and found myself skipping around the room like a 5 year old. i am much more active now with far less thought about the whole process. in the past every movement took ( what i now see as) much more mental effort to accomplish. sort of makes me want to hit the iron to see how much effort it would be to work out. I was not aware of the mental effort i put into each movement of my body before.
    Optimum Health powered by Actualized Self-Knowledge.

    Predator not Prey
    Paleo Ketogenic Lifestyle

    CW 315 | SW 506
    Current Jeans 46 | Starting Jeans 66


    Contact me: quelsen@gmail.com

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