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Thread: Quelsen the African Honey Badger goes Primal page 11

  1. #101
    quelsen's Avatar
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    ah so true. let me know if you come to a different conclusion than i have.

    Right now ( always subject to change) everything is me. I decide that i will no longer choose to exclude any part of what got me to today. I dont have to like it ( the physical damage, etc) but it DID happen and does play a part in all my brownian motion to some degree or other.

    I have also concluded that those things bad AND good are yesterday. Such a divine Gift yesterdays. I have slept. I can decide that today i wil go left rather than right. and to a big degree i keep in mind Trinity's words to Mr. Anderson... you have been down that road, you know EXACTLY where it leads.
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  2. #102
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    You have a valid point, but the past will haunt me until I face it and sove it. I cannot know of a solvable problem with a solution and let it lie there.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
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  3. #103
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    Quote Originally Posted by naiadknight View Post
    You have a valid point, but the past will haunt me until I face it and sove it. I cannot know of a solvable problem with a solution and let it lie there.
    oh no i was not making a point i was hoping you had a different solution than mine. that way i can grow :-) Lord knows i need growth :=O
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  4. #104
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    Salt. an interesting substance. it has totally changed my physiology. i wonder when it will stabilize. so fat day 4 and still no appetite.
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  5. #105
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    Hi Quelsen,
    I recently read your entire journal. Some of it was very hard to read, but I've already told you that I respect your honesty.

    It looks as if you are into a new experiment, based on the cryptic post above. I hope you'll let us know what you are doing and the results at some point. I'm still following the Primal 101 path as it continues to work for me, but I noticed that I eat fewer calories than at the beginning due to lack of hunger and some IF thrown in.

    Have a great day!
    Paula Primal since 9/24/2010
    "Our greatest foes, and whom we must chiefly combat, are within." Miguel de Cervantes

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  6. #106
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    Will i ever win?

    Sure i am a winner. I have overcome so much in my life. Enough for 10 people i believe. and yet, very very little of it was a choice I made. The only choice i seem to have made was to survive. That singular decision has caused met to meet and succeed where many many people gave up and lost themselves one way or another. Yet I am still here almost despite my self.

    I know how i would choose to measure success, a straight line from where i am to where i want to be. Yet again it is only on those rare occasions that i do actually achieve success by my own standards and to be honest, i don't put a lot of stock in those things. I get that I should and I can on some days sit in the place of the observer and see the success that i have achieved as good given the circumstances. I guess today isnt that day.

    How can i detach and re-frame my ideals of what my value is when i refuse to release it from the one static vision i laid out as a child. I never wanted to be a large person. However i didn't pick the right parents for that. On some days i feel that I have absorbed every negative comment ever directed at people who are "different" and amplified them a million times over and never let me forget it.

    I seek optimal health so that I can be happy in my skin. So i can live in this world without all the baggage i carry. I wonder if having a "perfect" body would change the way i feel or would i find other reasons for self abuse? I child should be loved by their parents. The farther i go in life the more i wonder if it is ever possible to heal wounds inflicted by those who gave you life.

    Solomon decided at the end that every act we do as humans here on this spinning ball of dirt was meaningless and a waste. I am going to have to disagree with arguably the wisest man to have lived.

    what we do does matter. We do not live in isolation. Negative attitudes and actions cause a spiral of more negative attitudes and actions. We can either GROW THE FUCK UP and behave like we have some sense or we will one day wake to find our spinning ball of dirt so destroyed by our own actions that it no longer supports our kind of life.

    To stand on the wall, holding back the night of mankind's stupidity and ignorance and fear and rage is apparently what i signed up for way before i could walk or talk or see. I would love to assert that i would not have chosen to do so, yet that would be disingenuous. It woudl be a lie as i consistently stand for what is right ( or at least the right i know when i took the action ) when i as fully aware that taking the path of my parents would satisfy me far more. To be just as mean and evil and stupid as they were, to manipulate and scheme and care not one whit for anyone but myself.

    Yet i do not have it in me. If all the world is a stage and we but players, then we each have our part, the good, the evil, the wise, and the foolish.

    I suppose i would not be anyone else but what I am.

    The Song Of The Dead
    ..... We have fed our sea for a thousand years
    And she calls us, still unfed,.....
    If blood be the price of admiralty,
    Lord God, we ha' paid in full!

    -- Rudyard Kipling
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  7. #107
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    Stardate: 05150.1104

    Habit. at war with reality. interesting concept

    I had gotten used to needing to eat ( against my better judgment ) whenver my body claimed it was hungry. Then came the salt. and then the Vitamin D and A. My intake dropped at leat by half but even perhaps to 1/3 its pre salt levels. Now i think i should be eating even though i am not hungry. I am both happy and sad about that. There is a part of me that feels deprived by not eating as if once i allowed my body to dictate my eating and not my mind my body felt it was on some sort of vacation. now there is a feeling that I am going to miss some food , so much food so little time.

    weird
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  8. #108
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    Stardate: 05160.1039

    The deeper i delve into this rabbit whole the more amazed i become. How is it that we know that meat is the best food source and yet we as a society have pretended for so long that it is to be shunned. the bison were killed to run the native americans off the land. It was death to poach the kings deer. Pound for pound protien s far costlier than carbohydrates.
    WE KNOW meat is better for us and always have know. but we lie about it.

    le sigh. why are people so dumb.....
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  9. #109
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    Just dropping in to say hello and to note that the cartoon you posted over in the 'Gripe' thread is funny as hell.
    somehow I manage to leave my intelligence and decorum at the door wherever I go. I doubt your journal will be an exception to that - not on the rug

    What the F&#* is a decorum? - Mr. Anthony

  10. #110
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    Quote Originally Posted by canio6 View Post
    Just dropping in to say hello and to note that the cartoon you posted over in the 'Gripe' thread is funny as hell.
    i saw that about a month ago. i feel strongly that is covers our current situation.

    I have gotten into an apocolypse mode of late. When the power goes down for good can i feed myself?
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