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Thread: A problem I never expected

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2010

    A problem I never expected

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    I have been sick almost all of my adult life. For years before I even had a diagnosis of autoimmune disease, I felt terrible almost every day. I found PB and for the first time that I can remember since my teen years I feel almost human.

    This is an amazing blessing, but it has brought up some uncomfortable issues for me. I am 37 years old and single. I almost never date - mostly because I have never had the energy and have felt pretty bad about myself. Suddenly I find myself grieving the fact that I never married and that I don't have children. I love kids and am so sad that I won't have my own. I know I could theoretically still have a baby - but I don't think I can manage as a single mother. It seems overwhelming (and impossible) to think of trying to find the right man and crank out a baby in a year.

    Has anyone else found themselves faced with unexpected issues as a result of re-gaining your health?

    Any words of wisdom for coping?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Redmond WA
    Why in a year? Although there are no guarantees, it's very likely you have more like 5 years (particularly now you're in such good health) , and that's plenty of time for hunting, trapping, and multiplying

    I work at a birth center where we often have first time moms over 40.

    Get out there, have fun, and maybe the right guy will get all wrapped up in you....

    Good luck!

    Zone diet on and off for several years....worked, but too much focus on exact meal composition
    Primal since July 2010...skinniest I've ever been and the least stressed about food

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Dayton OH
    There's always fostering. Or even just working with less fortunate kids. A few single women I know have decided to foster older children (early to late teens) because they couldn't handle being a single mother to a baby or small child, but they still had motherly instincts that they wanted to give.

    Plus, there's nothing saying you can't adopt a baby when you're too old to biologically have a baby, when you've found the right person and can settle down.

    You're never to old to be a mother. There are lots of ways to be a mother that don't include physically pushing a baby out of you. Take heart, you'll find the path you were meant to be on!
    Last edited by CoyoteVick; 05-11-2011 at 11:48 AM.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Lexington Kentucky
    Ah yes.

    First, there are some things to KNOW just KNOW.

    Everything happened in your life for a GREAT reason. It is up to you to figure out why it is great. Strive and never give up until you can see one reason for the greatness and never ever let that reason go

    You are Perfect Just as you ARE. Sounds like trite BS, but go over your life and think about all the people you have impacted that you woudl not have if you were not you. As much as i would prefer to be Vin Diesel or Dwayne Johnson, I also know there are several people who may have died if i was not me, and i am serious DIED. You might not know who you saved or impacted, but you did and will. Ask around and find out some extraordinary stories

    You have a desire now, it must be the right time, but dont push it so hard you push it away. To many times we focus on drawing the bow and we forget to release the arrow. We will never hit the target if we dont let go of our desires. Focus, hone, and release..... this is a truth of life

    Finally find one thing about you or your life you woudl not trade for the whole wide world and think about why that is true, then see how adding your new desire woudl have impacted or altered that thing , most of the time i find that NOW is the right time for it not then and not later.

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  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    western arkansas
    don't sweat it. I had a female friend who got married when she was 35 or 36 in the mid nineties, she now has like 8 to 10 kids.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Hudson Valley
    Wow, there is some great advice here. I just wanted to send {{Hugs}}. I too am dealing with some very strong and uncomfortable feelings after losing 50 pounds.
    Primal since 9/24/2010
    "Our greatest foes, and whom we must chiefly combat, are within." Miguel de Cervantes

    Created by - Free Weight Loss Tools
    MFP username: MDAPebbles67

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    I ditto what people say about things happening for a reason. I met my husband at 39. We thought, hey, we probably won't have kids and that's okay. We love each other and have a great life. Well, I just turned 42 and I'm pregnant!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Go for it!

    My sister (single) had a heathy child at age 42, and that 'child' is just completing her first year of college.

    You're still young!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    My sister got pregnant at 38 by accident. She was using birth control pills and still managed to get knocked up.

    I remember reading once that 80% of women at age 40 can get get pregnant within one year of trying with no medical intervention at all. 20% is still a significant number, but considering you're in great health there's a good chance you're in the 80%.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    metro Portland
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    Five years, jammies! Both my maternal grandmother and great-grandmother had their final baby at 43. I work with a woman who didn't have her first until she was 40.... and now she has two girls! One of my closest friends didn't have her first until she was 37. Now she has two lil ankle biters and, at 41, is trying for another.

    Anyway, I am commiserating with you on a lot of levels here. I'm a few years older than you, and have also never married.
    "Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food." -- Hippocrates

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