Rachel's May 2011 page

[RachelZoe]

Well, I'm back. I stepped away for a bit in April, but here I am. Decided to try counting points with a group of friends online, and I have maintained a loss of about 7 pounds. However, I haven't seen my "low" weight of 138 pounds since I left Primal, and I'm frustrated with maintaining at 140-142 while eating low calorie, low fat food.

The plus:
-I have maintained a loss
-I've started going to the gym again
-I'm in counseling to deal with nightmares and my PTSD

The negative:
-I'm still tired
-My nightmare medication causes weight gain, so I'm fighting against it
-I have been eating fake food (see below)

I do not want to eat low calorie, low fat food for life. I didn't realize how badly I'd gotten sucked back into a low fat mindset until I was reading a new low fat cookbook I bought. My daughter told me that fat free cool whip is for losers, and I was like, "oh yeah, why I am eating this crap when I could be eating real whipped cream?" I found myself buying disgusting low fat parm "cheese" to make my eggplant parm and I bought some really horrid sugar free fat free ice cream and toppings. All that stuff is going out.

My boyfriend asked me to design an eating program for him, so I'm giving him primal. He's already found a source of grass fed organic beef for us, so that's a real plus that I've never had on a primal eating plan before. We're also talking about growing our own small vegetable garden this year.

I'm excited about eating real food again. I'll probably keep tracking for a couple of months to see if I can figure out my "sweet spot" for weight loss and more importantly, weight maintenance. As of today's scale weight, I'd like to lose 7-10 pounds and maintain the loss.

[secretlobster]

Hi RachaelZoe, you sound like you're in a similar position as I am (with about the same weight goals)... I lost about 40lbs a couple years ago by eating the same obsessive-starvation "food" and sure we can keep the weight off by eating this way, but it's a really miserable existence and it doesn't make us "thrive". Isn't it amazing how easy it is to get drawn back into the low-cal low-fat mentality?? It seems that low-cal low-fat has become the new fast food of convenience and price. It's not expensive or difficult to buy, and the packaging itself takes the thought requirement out of having to choose. If it says low-calorie, it's healthier right? I sympathize with you, and I hope it's easier to go back to eating real food now that your boyfriend is doing it too!

[RachelZoe]

Thank you so much for your encouraging post. It is very easy to grab the low-calorie, low-fat snacks and call it good. I got used to tracking via counting points, and while I think tracking may be helpful so that I can find my personal loss/maintenance "sweet spot," I can't be afraid to eat 1/4 cup of almonds just because they are "six points" worth of nutrition. For some reason, I always think that low-cal/low-fat=more choices, but it really only means more poor choices...there's nothing tasty about the sugar-free, fat-free chocolate syrup I picked up.

My daughter and I went to the gym last night. We did 20 minutes of cardio...treadmill, bike, elliptical...and about 25 minutes of weights. We were going to take a Zumba class for "fun" but the class got rescheduled for a later time, and we needed to get home and get in bed.

I had hard boiled eggs for breakfast, along with an Americano. Going to break my skinny latte habit, lol.

I am also re-reading "Eat Fat, Lose Fat" (I think that's the title) to remind myself that dietary fat is not the enemy!

Just to note for future reference:

Weight this morning: 141.9 (Goal is 132-137), I'm 5'5
Wearing size 9 jeans in juniors, size 6 in women's, size L tops in juniors, size S-M in women's

[secretlobster]

Hah! Our measurements are the same. Of course the clothing sizes are fine... I would never feel badly buying a S or M top rather than an XS! Getting out of this "low-fat" mentality is SO MUCH harder than I thought. My instinct is to grab the "lite" or "low-fat" or "low-cal" option. Why? Those calories are empty. Even seeing 100-calorie packs of stuff is appealing, before you remember that it's 100 calories of carbs and salt, which does absolutely nothing for you. 140 calories of almonds may seem like a lot of calories for a small snack and it's hard to wrap our heads around preferring "more good calories" over "fewer bad calories". I know a lot of people have had great results counting points or tracking calories, but you're really not looking to lose a lot of weight, and you clearly exercise, so tracking points seems detrimental to your goals (changing the shape/content of your body rather than just seeing a smaller number on the scale).

[RachelZoe]

Thanks, Lobster. Those little 100 calorie packs are tempting and cute (good marketing)...I had to laugh the other day at the grocery store when I saw that Snackwells are back again. I ate those things in the nineties when low fat dieting was all the rage.

I did some calculations, and my ideal weight is 135 or so, but my true goal is to get to about 20 percent body fat. I got to 23.5 percent at 133.5 pounds about a year ago, but I was working with a trainer and my diet was too restrictive at the end. That set me up to start binging and stop weighing for almost a year....until this March when I was at the doctor's office and saw 147 on the scale. Don't know my body fat percentage right now, but I can see the extra in my middle. I think reestablishing my workout routines and eating real food is going to get me where I want to be...I want to have a leaner body, not just be "skinny." And, I need to really commit to a maintaining...that's what I've never done before.

My boyfriend sent me his stats so that I can figure out his basal metabolic rate and give him a range to hit for protein. He's about 40 pounds overweight by the charts. He's only dieted one time in his life, so this is new territory for him, and I bet he'll lose quickly. I'm really happy that he found an affordable source of quality meats for us, and I'd love it if we could find a good farmer's market this year too.

Scale weight today was 140.8, so I lost a big .3 pound in the last week, lol.

[RachelZoe]

Had a good weekend, but definitely not a perfect eating weekend. My boyfriend and I took my daughter out for her belated birthday dinner (put it off for a couple of weeks because her mouth was sore from new braces), and we went to PF Changs. I made several choices that were on the primal side, like egg drop soup, lettuce wraps, and steamed salmon. On the non primal side, I had some gluten free lemon chicken, white rice, and a few bites of gluten free flourless torte. And a glass of white wine.

I did shop for primal foods today. I bought eggs, bacon, cheese, strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, apples, cherries, heavy cream, chicken, spinach, carrots, etc. My boyfriend sent me home with grassfed beef, steak and hamburger.

We also took my boyfriend's dog for a walk outside...I would consider that to be play.

[RachelZoe]

Have my food ready to go for the day. For breakfast, I had full-fat greek yogurt and blueberries. Lunch is going to be a salad with spinach, carrots, chicken, bacon, almonds, cheese, and oil and vinegar dressing, with apple and grapes for desert. Dinner will be steak and roasted brussell sprouts.

I am so exhausted right now. Going over my to-do list at work...trying to figure out what I need to get done first today. Was out on Thursday afternoon and Friday to deal with some personal problems.

[RachelZoe]

Steak was good...pan seared it in a pan with coconut oil.

I started taking cod liver oil today after reading about it in Eat Fat, Lose Fat. I was very vitamin D deficient three months ago (and need to go back in for testing soon), but I am wondering if I am also Vitamin A deficient. I will see how I feel after this bottle, along with coconut oil I am adding to my diet.

Off to the gym after my dd finishes her homework.

[RachelZoe]

Got up this morning and took my coconut oil and my castor oil. And had whole milk yogurt with heavy cream. My stomach is not sure what to think, lol. I stopped at a new coffee place on my way to work and got an Americano.

Went to the gym last night and did cardio on four machines for five minutes each and then did weights: biceps, chest, leg curls, leg press. I need to go through my workouts from last year and put something together that makes more sense, as I'm working out very randomly right now. That said, it does feel good to be back at the gym, instead of just sitting at home and watching television every night.

I do need to mention that I am tired beyond tired this morning. Also had some disturbing dreams last night, which I won't chronicle here because I don't know who is reading.

[secretlobster]

Also had some disturbing dreams last night, which I won't chronicle here because I don't know who is reading.

IT IS I, THE BEAST FROM YOUR NIGHTMARES

What brand of coconut oil are you using? I've heard there is a big difference between brands, just wondering