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  1. #1
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    Primal Journal: Robynbee

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    I've noticed that a lot of people have this Primal Journal thing going on, and I'm going to jump on the bandwagon. I think that writing my progress and my pitfalls in a journal will be pretty beneficial to helping me stay on the right track.

    Let's see, today is May 9th, 2011. I'm 27 and I weigh almost 140 lbs. Exactly one month ago, I weighed 125 lbs. I fell off the wagon pretty hard just after my birthday (April 7th) and have since had a lot of trouble with binge eating and carb cravings. Like, a lot of trouble. I wasn't able to have a morsel of sugar pass my lips without it being followed by hours and hours of insatiable cravings. I was like a robot...a sugar-fueled robot...a sugar-fueled robot that gained almost 15 lbs in two weeks. My pants don't fit as well as they used to, and for a girl that wears fairly tight pants anyway, that's not good!

    Anyway, today is the second day of PB eating (again). I really want to stick with it because I KNOW that I feel so much better about myself and my life when I eat this way. I seem to forget that from time to time and abandon everything I've worked so hard to achieve. I don't want to do that anymore.

    So, back on track now. I feel as though I should focus more on nutrition and less on exercise as my eating habits are most definitely my downfall. Once I get those in check, I'll start worrying about the exercise part. I won't stop exercising, I like it too much, but I refuse to let it stress me out. Exercise and I will be platonic friends for right now, before we get back into serious business.

    But as for food, you and I are going to have to learn to get along REALLY well. We're going to be BFFs soon.

    Now, I've counted calories in the past, and I'm trying to let that go. So I won't be doing that. I might not even write down what I eat everyday. I will today, because this is my first journal day and I have to put down some sort of marker. Here goes:

    Breakfast:
    2 egg omelette with spinach, tomatoes and red onions.

    Lunch:
    Broccoli salad with tuna and other random veggies.
    Primal Energy Bar (recipe is on this website somewhere...)

    Dinner:
    Zucchini Pasta with Spaghetti Sauce.

    And a lot of tea. I love my tea. I'll probably have rotten teeth soon with the amount of tea I drink, but whatever.

    I went for a walk today at lunch, might have been about half an hour, I don't really know. I'm feeling pretty sleepy today, it could be partly because I didn't sleep well last night, and partly because I haven't had sugar in two days and my body is a little weirded out.

    Yep, that's my day. Tonight is game 5, Canucks Vs. Predators. If the Canucks don't win, I will be considering watching basketball from now on....even though I don't understand it.

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    Man, I didn't write anything in here yesterday and I had to get through four pages of journals before I could find my own! I guess I should make it a bookmark. It's cool to see that everyone else has their journals rockin' and they seem to be really useful! I'm pumped.

    Okay, so today is day....4? Yeah, I think that's correct. I'm feeling pretty good, albeit a little tired because I stayed up too late watching Top Gear (they showcased the new Aston, loooove it!). I went to the gym this morning for the first time since last Thursday. I need to change up my routine, I'm getting bored. Since I've added in sessions of LHT, I've become a little more bored with the rest of my workouts. I still like my one spin class (the other I feel kind of "meh" about, so I might ditch it in favour of something else that's more fun), but I'm less and less inclined to keep doing my "chronic cardio", as it were. I do enjoy running, so I'll keep that around, but I'd like to add in some yoga/pilates/something else fun. I looked at local yoga studios and DAMN are they expensive! Plus, they rarely offer classes at 6am, which is what I'd prefer. The only studio that does is Bikram's but they charge an arm and a torso for their classes. So, now I'm looking into at-home exercise things. P90X has a yoga workout, but it also has several other discs that I have to buy to get it....and I don't really want them. Hmm.

    Last night I ate leftover Primal Jambalaya for dinner (one of my favourites), and I have leftover Shepherd's Pie (with cauliflower topping) for lunch today. I realized that I have a ton of leftovers crowding my fridge so I'm trying to get through them all. Tonight's dinner will probably be more Jambalaya....I made a lot.

    Okay, on with my day.....and by that I mean, on with trolling through MDA forum posts.

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    This morning I opted for a jog around my neighbourhood instead of a jog on the treadmill at the gym. Granted, I like the treadmill on rainy/crappy days because I can catch up on the news (with a tv in front of my face) and keep dry, but when it's super nice out at 5 am and the birds are chirping, it's an outside day. I heard about five roosters cock-a-doodle-dooing, which was pretty awesome. I was like "I'm already awake, punks!". I love the smell of the early morning. It smells so much cleaner that the rest of the day when all the cars wake up and head out and about. I also got some LHT done at home, which was great because I like not having to rely on the gym for the use of their weights. My body is heavy enough to give me a workout!

    Suffice it to say, I feel pretty great this morning. Also, since I finished my run at home, I made my favourite tea and read a magazine before I headed to work. Talk about luxury....AND I learned that my absolute favourite MX rider is coming back to ride the outdoors series. Christophe Pourcel is BACK!

    In regards to food, I've been doing really well. I haven't had any crazy, mind blowing sugar cravings and I haven't really been too insatiably hungry. This is always a plus. I think I need to make a stir-fry out of all the random vegetables I have lurking in the bottom of my fridge. Mmmm dinner.

    The other day I read a post in which someone said (sorry, I can't remember whom) that mashing up an avocado with some cocoa powder tastes like chocolate pudding (sort of). I didn't have cocoa powder, but I did have carob powder so I used that instead. And you know what? I really did taste like chocolate pudding. I don't really like chocolate pudding, I never have, but seeing as I knew this was an avocado and not some weird-textured substance that has about a billion ingredients, I like it a lot more than I thought it would. I suggest trying it if you haven't already.

    Yesterday I totally kicked ass at work. I feel another bout of kick-assery coming on today. *kung fu moves*

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    Today is the start of my Whole30 Candida challenge. OperaDivaMom brought it up and I figured yeah, why not? I know I have many symptoms of Candidiasis, and what better way to deal with them than eating super, duper, extremely well for 30 days? That's right, there's no better way.

    I tend to start things and then peter out half-way through, but I really don't want to do that this time. I want to get to the end of this 30 day challenge and pump my fists in the air and yell that I did it (while 'Eye of the Tiger' plays in the background). I have absolutely no excuses why I can't do it, not a-one. So here goes, 30 days of no grains, sugars, dairy, processed foods, potatoes, alcohol or bad stuff. I have moved my scale out of the bathroom so I won't be tempted to stand on it and start sulking. AND I even splurged on the Whole30 Success Guide (I'm hoping that it's worth the $39) to make me feel more accountable.

    Okay, STATS to start off with. I'm 27 years old, I'm about 5'6" and at the moment I weigh around 138lbs (I haven't weighed myself for about a week, but that's what it was a week ago). I have no real goal weight, I just want to be more toned and actually see the muscle that I know I have in my arms. Why is it so hard to lose fat from your arms? Geez.

    I'll keep writing here about my progress because it's doing a good job of making me want to succeed. I don't want to post on here that I fell flat on my face and am now in a downward spiral of twinkies and beer (ugh, even the thought of putting those things in my mouth makes me a bit nauseous). Everyone out there, keep me accountable!!

    Aaaannnnnndddddd GO! *begins Whole30*

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    How very sad, I ended that last post with starting the Whole30, and here I am telling everyone that I've failed ALREADY.

    Here's the deal, I have three final exams to write, one today, one tomorrow and one on Friday. I'm pretty stressed out about them, I know I'm ready but I've always been that kind of 'pre-exam stress' person. I've been losing sleep and all that as well, I woke up this morning at 3am and I just KNOW my eyes were like dinner plates as I started to panic. Luckily I got back to sleep (until 5am). Anyway, last night I didn't have any easy and quick food to make and I really had to spend my time reviewing so I ended up eating a bowl of tortilla chips and a fruitbar for dinner. Not very awesome, but I've decided that exams are my priority right now. I'm not able to balance the Whole30, exercise, sleep, work, health issues (which are whacked right now), and exams. I wish I were able to find the balance, though I know I'm getting better at it.

    Anyway, something has to give. I'm allowing myself to replace my gym time with study time until Friday because I can't focus on my workout while I'm trying to recall the difference between a world and a global city. I've rescheduled the start of my Whole30 to a day where I can really focus on it and make sure I have good food to eat at all times.

    I'm pretty bummed that I only lasted on the Whole30 for a day and a half, but I know my body is ready for it, I just need to sort out my mind. God, I'm stressed out.

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    Exams are done! And I think I did pretty well, if I do say so myself. My saving grace in academia has always been that I'm a quick reader and can absorb pretty much everything I put my eyes on. Therefore, I don't really spend a lot of time studying, which is awesome. Man, do I ever feel like a giant weight has been lifted, though. I guess I was a lot more stressed out than I had originally thought (which was a lot).

    Okay, back to my Whole30! I've decided to kick it off by doing the Wild Rose cleanse for 12 days to help me really commit to doing the Whole 30. I like the Wild Rose cleanse, it's my go-to cleanse when I feel the need to do a bit of internal cleaning. It could be because the guy who created it is Canadian and their whole clinic is set up in BC....and I'm a little biased.

    I woke up this morning intending on going to the gym to LHT, but I decided to just relax and not put too much pressure on myself (which is something I have a real problem with). So, instead I did a yoga dvd in my living room with the sunlight beaming in and it was pretty great.

    My main issue with trying to eat well and exercise is that I put a lot of pressure on myself not to fail and I don't treat it all as if it's a lifestyle and it's all good. I get very tense about it all, which ultimately leads to the demise of my health attempts because it's tough to keep doing something that you're treating like a test. I need to to relax and take things slowly. I need to realize that changes don't happen overnight, and that I feel SO MUCH better when I'm not putting crap food into my body. I guess I'm not very good at listening to my body.....I should definitely practice that.

    I had a coconut milk and spinach omelette this morning and it was so good. I may be overdoing it on the morning omelettes, but they're just so easy! I've got a spinach salad with tuna for lunch, and the dressing is apple cider vinegar and sesame oil. I don't know if sesame oil is good to use, but I have a bottle that I want to finish. Plus, it tastes amazing with ACV. Who knew?

    I'm glad to be back on the road to primal/paleo eating. I know it makes me feel good and I can't wait to get back to a point where I feel happy about myself again! Plus, it's pretty much summer and I really don't want to go through another one stressing about what to wear that will both keep me cool and cover up every single part of my body so no one will see.

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    Long weekends are great, I didn't really want this one to end. I feel as though I haven't had time off in a really long time, but it's not true. My job has been getting more and more stressful these days because since I'm the office manager, I get the brunt of my boss's stress. It's not very cool, but that's kind of the way it is. I'm the only person who works in administration and sometimes I stretch myself way too thin to do everything. Oh well. I'm taking time off at the end of June to go out to the bush and relax with no cell phone signal and no tv. Just me, my boyfriend, some books, and lots of wildlife. Excellent.

    Anyway, enough about work, it makes me stressed to even talk about it. I've been re-reading the Primal Blueprint because I kind of fell of the wagon last week and needed some motivation to get my ass in gear. My ass in now in gear. I've been eating so well for the past few days and already I feel so much better. I've started a different exercise regimen (no more chronic cardio), which involves less going to the gym and pounding miles out on a treadmill and more walking around my beautiful neighbourhood. This morning I got up and did some sprints, which only took me about half an hour. I had time to make tea for myself and coffee for my significant tater and sit outside in the sun and listen to the birds. It was awesome because usually I'm gone at around 5:30am and I don't really enjoy my mornings as much as I could. Plus, I like being able to relax BEFORE I start my day.

    On the nutrition side of things, I've been eating pretty low-carb. I've had bacon and eggs for breakfast for three days in a row (I was vegetarian for 10 years so I'm still not over my teary-eyed reunion with bacon yet), and have had very little veggies. Not on purpose, but I haven't had my usual salad for lunch so it's bringing down my carb amount. I think I've been somewhere between 18-40 carbs for a few days. Last night I had steamed broccoli and cauliflower, so I'm not eschewing veggies altogether, I've just really been craving protein and fat. Not a bad thing, right? I think maybe my body wants sugar and I can keep those cravings at bay with protein and fat. With my carb amount so low, is my body in ketosis? I'm still trying to make all the information in the PB make sense in my head.

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    Today I've spent my morning reading a really excellent thread regarding amino acids and 5-HTP and all that good stuff. It's been really eye opening for me because I share similar issues with the threads main posters and they've looked to amino acid supplements to help them out. I love finding out new things that could potentially up my ante...in life.
    The thread is here if anyone wants to check it out: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread19847.html

    I'm eating really well these days, I haven't had any cravings at all. Then again, I haven't been stressed or had anything to emotionally eat about. That is my main downfall. I can find myself in the kitchen with a spoon and a jar of coconut butter and just go through the whole thing, without even noticing what I'm doing. I need to find a way to deal with this properly. That's kind of why I was intrigued by the thread I just linked to.

    I bought omega 3 enriched eggs the other day, which I haven't done before, and they're super yellow! Is that just how they are or do I have eggs from radioactive chickens? Anyway, it was a little weird eating a bright, sunflower yellow omelette this morning. Delicious, but weird. I've also added stevia back into my routine. I've been having herbal tea (mainly gingerbread spice, but it's not Christmastime so if I run out I won't be able to buy any until then....which makes me grumpy) with stevia in the evening and it's been really nice. Previously I hadn't been using any sweeteners at all, but I figure stevia's a pretty good alternative to good old white sugar...or brown sugar....or honey....or whatever.

    I found out this morning that my favourite spin class is being cancelled for the summer, and might not be brought back at all! I'm supremely sulky about this because there are only two spin classes at my gym at 6am, and one sucks. I don't want to have to go that one. Seeing as I only really need to go to the gym for spin class and the occasional use of the pull-up machine (I'm sure it has a different name but I don't know what that is), I might just defer my membership until it gets cold again and do all my exercising at home or about my neighbourhood. But I sure liked my spin class. *grumble* Maybe I'll just get used to the sucky one.

    On a completely different note, I watched 'Point Break' last night because I had never seen it. My boyfriend wasn't too thrilled with my movie choice, but I didn't really care, I wanted to see it. And wow....what a terrible movie. Keanu Reeves might be the worst actor in the history of acting. It's pretty funny to watch him struggle with emotional lines...he just can't get the emotion into them. He is only good in Bill & Ted, in my opinion. Like, whoa.

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    My guts have been hurting for about two days. What gives? My boyfriend is feeling pretty gross as well, so maybe we're sick. I have had some, uh, toilet issues for the past week since I started my 100% primal diet. Is that normal? I sure hope it goes away soon.

    Anyway, this weekend has been pretty darn good so far. I mean, granted, it's Sunday so it's almost over, but I think I'm going to go out and plant some stuff in my garden before it gets dark. My duder and I just got back from a two hour hike in the nearby clearcuts where he'll go hunting in about four months. We found some really excellent deer trails and followed them up, down, and around until my legs were so tired I thought I may have to just sleep on the mountain. It was such a nice day to be out there, sunny and quiet, and it smells so damn good to be outside where no one else is.

    Another high point of this weekend, I found a local butcher shop (well, to be fair, I was told about it) that sells only grass fed and organically raised beef. So stoked! I can do all my meat shopping in one place, which is grrrrrrrrrrreat. I got some jerky there (grass fed woot woot!) and holy crap is it ever good. It's too bad that my boyfriend also really likes it, because I could have eaten it all myself. I think I may have to keep the jerky hidden from him when I buy it next.

    Some info so I can look back and see if I'm making progress:

    I feel good. My mood has been pretty stable for the past week. When I look in the mirror I look exactly the same, but I FEEL better about myself.
    I've done one sprint (running) and one spin class this week, with a bunch of yoga and some walking and hiking thrown in. I even did some Pilates the other day....not sure if that's my thing.
    I've been eating pretty darn low carb for the past 5 or 6 days (under 50g), just to see if I can get into Ketosis and, if I do, if I even notice anything different. I'm going to try and see if being in Ketosis has any effect on the rapidity of my fat loss, I've heard it does, but I'd like to see for myself. I can't really see myself staying in a state of Ketosis for an extended period of time because I just feel too weird eating such a little amount of veggies.

    I'm hoping to see SOME semblance of fat loss in the next while. I'd like to be able to see the muscles I have in my arms (I know they're there...just hidden by chub) and develop a little bit of tone. I weighed myself yesterday morning and I was at 130lbs, on a kind of wonky scale. I don't even know why I use it because I'm positive it's off. My boyfriend keeps saying he's gained about five pounds and I really don't think he did, so I don't know. I've heard fat calipers are a good idea, buuuuuuut I think I'll rely on good old "mirror measurements" for the time being.

    Alrighty then, off to make some dinner. Maybe some coconut curry with shrimp? I think sooooo!

  10. #10
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    I haven't written on here in a while (well, 4 days, but who's counting), so I figured I'd give myself (and whoever reads this) an update.

    I'm really feeling the 'low carb flu' these days, intense fatigue and some pretty bad carb cravings. I've been able to avoid eating the carbs by eating some fat or protein instead. I wonder how long this will last? Some people have said it lasted only a few days for them, others have said up to 6 weeks. SIX WEEKS....holy crap. It's okay, though. I mean, it does seem a like a hell of a long time, forever even, but I know I can do this because I'm not starving myself through it. It used to be I'd cut calories waaaaay down and see how long I could last (rarely over a week), but by eating primally, I don't have to do that. I can feel free to eat whatever, as long as it's the right thing. Of course, I still probably shouldn't eat an entire jar of coconut butter, and I'm still concious of the amount food I'm putting into my body. It's great to finally be excited about living this lifestyle, instead of dreading the day that your defenses are down and you eat all that crap again. I never want to eat crap again, and because there are so many better options, I probably won't. Oh sure, I may eat a few hard candies here and there (I'm a sucker for Werther's), but all in all, crap food is not going to be the catalyst of my downfall. No sir.

    I went and did some sprints today, which was awesome. I had so much energy as soon as I woke up so I decided to make good use of it (it's all gone now and I'm feeling the good ol' low-carb fatigue). I also did a little bit of yoga to limber up before I sit in a huddled ball in front of my computer screen and man, I'm glad I did. I've begun to really enjoy yoga....I mean, I always wanted to like it, but I was turned off by the amount of skinny, lithe girls that can bend like freaking gumby. Plus, yoga pants freak me out. I do have some, and I don't look terrible in them, but man....they're so.....tight. Someday I'd like to buy a pair of Lululemon pants (I have some short crops for running that were gifted to me and they're amazing) because I like the material they use and I have tested their durability and they stand up really well to wear. Unfortunately, they cost around one arm and half of a leg, so I have yet to purchase a pair. When I get to my ideal body shape, maybe I'll do it. It can be an incentive. Although, really, the incentive I have right now is pretty kick ass: to feel absolutely awesome about myself all the time. But a pair of pants is okay, too.

    On a completely different note, the Canucks are in the Stanley Cup Playoffs. They won the first game of the series, and I am so. incredibly. stoked.
    I'm not the kind of person to wear a jersey of my favourite player, or paint my face at a game, or even have a Canucks flag waving from my truck, but I sure do love the fact that there are a lot of people out there that are those kind of people. It makes me happy.

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