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  1. #1
    GtrBMart's Avatar
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    How does everyone deal with resistive family members?


    I've been trying to get my family to understand the core principles of the PB but it gets harder and harder every night to eat dinner with them. It's gotten to the point where I have to make myself a completely different meal just so that I can stay primal. For example, tonight, my dad wanted to make breakfast for dinner. That means pancakes. Despite us having almond, coconut, and hazelnut flour at home, he goes and uses wheat flour. Now, it doesn't necessarily affect me because I didn't have any but my dad is worried about diabetes and heart disease and my mom and sister are overweight. I'm really trying to help them but, every night, I get so frustrated with them that I have to stop what I'm doing and take some deep breaths.


    Now my mom is on a mini crusade to have stuffing with bread in it for Thanksgiving after I mentioned an alternative that we could make. It really is getting harder and harder for me because they don't want to change. They're fully supportive of me it seems but not enough to try it themselves (despite my weight loss, muscle gain, and increased health).


    So, do you have any suggestions on how I should handle this? I know Mark has made a few blog posts about how to share the PB with other people but it seems like none of the logic is working with my family. I love my family and I'm just trying to make their lives better.


    Luckily, I'm moving back to school in January so, hopefully, I don't have to deal with too much more of my frustration soon.


  2. #2
    kuno1chi's Avatar
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    GtrBMart,


    Hang in there. Just try to take care of yourself best you can; don't try too hard to convert the others in your family. Despite your best intentions---they're not ready to hear you.


    I know it's frustrating---


  3. #3
    kuno1chi's Avatar
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    GtrBMart,


    I had very close frend who said recently, "I would rather DIE than give up pasta!".


    Makes a big difference when you are actually given that option, as I was. Wasn't that tough of a call for me, but everyone is different.


  4. #4
    SerialSinner's Avatar
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    GBM I second Kuno.


    Understand that some people need more time than others to properly digest new ideas. Also bear in mind that carbs are addictive. Picture heavy smokers in times when smoking was believed to be relatively harmless.


    The best you could do is continuing to stand your ground without antagonizing them, so that they remain receptive to new information coming from you. Pick your battles, be understanding, and let your results speak for themselves.


    Best of lucks.

    “Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.” -Oscar Wilde
    "The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." -George Bernard Shaw
    "The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass." -Martin Mull

  5. #5
    Griff's Avatar
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    I third Kuno. People won't change until they find out that eating pasta WILL cause them to die.


    That's what motivated me to give it up. Do I miss it? Yes. Would I go back? Hell no.

    Primal eating in a nutshell: If you are hungry, eat Primal food until you are satisfied (not stuffed). Then stop. Wait until you're hungry again. Repeat.

    Looking for my Cholesterol Primer? Here it is: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...mer-(Attempt-2)


    Ditch the scale!: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread33283.html

    My Success Story: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread30615.html

  6. #6
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    Volunteer to become the house chef. Dazzle with your cooking, spoil the heck out of them with buttery creamy delcious concoctions, and they'll never look back. Don't preach, it doesn't work.


    So... Dad wants breakfast? You just jump right in there and start mixing up the batter, have him pour and flip the pancakes while you fry up the bacon and sausages, and mix up some berry compote to top them with. Wizz up some real whipped cream and voila, delicious, showy, and spectacular tasting.


    I found living with my parents/siblings this summer, that if I was on the ball and made the meals, they didn't complain that it was low carb (though they did sometimes tell me I was going to give them all heart attacks with the amount of cream and butter I use).


    People love to be served, serve your family and you'll be serving yourself.

    The more I see the less I know for sure.
    -John Lennon

  7. #7
    eva's Avatar
    eva
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    i second lil-earthmamma

    thats exactly what i do. i do all the cooking at home (my parents-in-law live in the same household). and nobody complaines. my MIL has already started to use coconutcream and butter herself. The others can have their porridge n sandwiches whenever they want. im done preaching.

    challenge yourself
    i blog here http://theprimalwoman.blogspot.com/

  8. #8
    Baglady's Avatar
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    I have similar issues with my hubby so I just would not eat whatever he cooked that was not primal. Now he is reducing carbs on his own. I have forwarded some articles for him to read (careful to not overload him) and letting him make the change. He is beginning to do well.


    The only fork you have control over is your own. I know that it is hard to watch someone you love slowly kill themselves, but there is really nothing you can do but to set an example.


    Cooking for them is a great idea! Good luck!

    Bags
    Primal Since 10/2009

  9. #9
    GtrBMart's Avatar
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    For a while, I was cooking every night for them. They loved most of the stuff I was making but then would ask why no rice or why no breading and they would make themselves some rice or grab a loaf of bread (we're Portuguese; there's always bread in the house whether I eat it or not) no matter what I told them. My mom was worried about the saturated fat and said it messed with her brain now that everything was backwards. Now, even though I make my own dinners, they scrutinize what I'm eating saying that my steak is too rare, or that I'm eating too much meat or fat, etc.


    My dad has been slowly trying to understand what I do and implement some of it, but he doesn't have the commitment yet and easily breaks under the pressure of having the food or the means to make the food in the house. I know it takes time to adjust for some people but it's affecting me in a negative way now.


    Oh well, one of these days I'll make them a full course meal again and see how they like it. Until then, I'll just have to make my own dinners and not let my family affect me.


  10. #10
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    Family is a tough one, especially when you are in college. Your parents have watched you grow up and go through a lot of "phases" in your life, and they may just think that you're in another phase right now. It may take quite some time of you being dedicated to eating/living Primally for them to accept it completely. They've been around a lot longer than you, and have ideas of their own too


    Preaching and getting frustrated is a terrible idea, you just have to do what you need to do for yourself and be gracious the rest of the time. When my family-in-law visits in December, I plan on making completely primal (and delicious!) meals that I know they will love, but accompanying them with a baguette or some sort of side dish so that they feel comfortable. Having bread as a side is so much less offensive than making a meal out of cans and boxes in my opinion (which is what will happen if I don't do all of the cooking).


    I hope your family can come around for their health's sake, but let them see you do it rather than hear you talk about it

    You are what you eat,
    and what you eat eats too - Michael Pollan


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