A thread wherein guys rant, complain, and chat about MANLY MAN THINGS page 631

[canio6]

sorry caboose, but to be straight with you, it's probably something that you're doing rather than what you look like. i wish i could explain, but i can't without seeing how you interact with ladies. either that, or you're trying for the wrong women. try working on friendships with women first for understanding.

Caboose - It is something that you are doing but not your fault. It's classic friendzone bullshit. They knew you back before you lost weight and you were probably a friendly, decent guy. They associated you with that brotherly, decent, teddy bear type and it is stuck in their head. There is very little you can do about that besides be a straight up dick, which probably isn't the route you want to go. Forget asking out women who you have known for a while. Hell, they didn't go out with you before you lost the weight so why waste your time with them now? Don't deal in their BS. Ask out some people you don't know.

Good luck.

[katemary]

I agree with canio6, caboose. i think when someone is pigeon holed as a mate, that is it. The compliments must be nice, but don't expect the dynamic to change...and do you want someone who knew you yet put the weight first?

saoirse also has a point, and it may not be something bad you are doing but your attitude. Being overweight can ruin your confidence...you don't feel like yu have a right to exude sexuality. Maybe as your body changes and your confidence builds it will show and women can be attracted to the right amount of confidence.

don't be disheartened.

[Saoirse]

Caboose - It is something that you are doing but not your fault. It's classic friendzone bullshit. They knew you back before you lost weight and you were probably a friendly, decent guy. They associated you with that brotherly, decent, teddy bear type and it is stuck in their head. There is very little you can do about that besides be a straight up dick, which probably isn't the route you want to go. Forget asking out women who you have known for a while. Hell, they didn't go out with you before you lost the weight so why waste your time with them now? Don't deal in their BS. Ask out some people you don't know.

Good luck.

The Ups and Downs of ‘The Friend Zone’

I don't really see why it's bullshit that a woman just wants to be friends and communicates it. sure, it sucks because he wants more, but it's not bullshit.

[kenn]

The Ups and Downs of ‘The Friend Zone’

I don't really see why it's bullshit that a woman just wants to be friends and communicates it. sure, it sucks because he wants more, but it's not bullshit.

If you're in the friendzone and you want more and you're being a nice guy or at least you think you are, you're really being a manipulative scheming bastard. If you can't reconcile it's just a friendship then yes, the friendzone is a bs place for you to be.

As for Caboose, you've changed physically and they see that, but then they realize you haven;t changed mentally and back away.

[carlh]

Can I rave about something instead of rant? I've been commuting by bike a LOT this year. I have one thing to say. I LOVE women joggers, of all shapes and sizes. Damn. Yes.

[Saoirse]

If you're in the friendzone and you want more and you're being a nice guy or at least you think you are, you're really being a manipulative scheming bastard. If you can't reconcile it's just a friendship then yes, the friendzone is a bs place for you to be.

good point.

it's possible one of your female friends might change her mind, but i wouldn't hedge a bet on it (especially if your female friends are all friends with each other).

[Gilleh]

I've always been partial to damsels in distress. Of course those knights continuously trying to rescue them gets a bit annoying.

Life gets easier when you realize you are not in charge of someone else's happiness
When you pull out, you will notice you've got more energy for yourself
I've seen many damsels when I used to be a knight
Trust me on this one, all your hard work won't pay off as someone else would rip what you sow

[SoccerGrok]

Caboose - It is something that you are doing but not your fault. It's classic friendzone bullshit. They knew you back before you lost weight and you were probably a friendly, decent guy. They associated you with that brotherly, decent, teddy bear type and it is stuck in their head. There is very little you can do about that besides be a straight up dick, which probably isn't the route you want to go. Forget asking out women who you have known for a while. Hell, they didn't go out with you before you lost the weight so why waste your time with them now? Don't deal in their BS. Ask out some people you don't know.

Good luck.

Word!

[kenn]

Caboose - It is something that you are doing but not your fault. It's classic friendzone bullshit. They knew you back before you lost weight and you were probably a friendly, decent guy. They associated you with that brotherly, decent, teddy bear type and it is stuck in their head. There is very little you can do about that besides be a straight up dick, which probably isn't the route you want to go. Forget asking out women who you have known for a while. Hell, they didn't go out with you before you lost the weight so why waste your time with them now? Don't deal in their BS. Ask out some people you don't know.

Good luck.

Hollywood has conditioned people to think it works that way though, sad but true.

[canio6]

I don't really see why it's bullshit that a woman just wants to be friends and communicates it. sure, it sucks because he wants more, but it's not bullshit.

It depends on when she communicates it and if both have similar expectations. If per your article a dude is honest then 90% (or more) of conversations of a single man with single women would be, "Hi, I'm canio. Yeah, I'm talking to you because, well, your ass is tighter than your friend's and I think if I play my cards right I can probably get you drunk enough to blow me in the bathroom. By which I mean, have a meaningful relationship." Sure, dude can be more subtle "I think you are nice and blah and perhaps we could date etc" but point being most of the time dude is going to get blown off (and not in the bathroom) because unless their is some kind of mutaul chemistry/attraction or the girl is looking hard to go out, the guy is going to have to work at it a bit. Perhaps build up some rapport or common ground.

This is where the friendzone bullshit starts. Dude and Chick become 'friends' because he is trying to get said common ground and then boom he is her brother or 'friend' because guys apparently do not have enough friends without the chick they have known for a month thinking he needs another. And sure, friends always let their friends pay for everything, kind of like dates but not really because they are such good friends and yeah, dude really should know better but really he is just trying to not be the douche you find in every club, which pretty much makes him another chick at least in the girl's mind because she is more likely to make out with her GF than this dude.

Because lets be honest, I have never met a single dude who says, "I need more friends. How about some that don't like sports, get bitchy 5 days a month, and expect me to listen when they cry. All this while I am not getting laid. Yup, sign me up" Sorry, doesn't happen. So ladies, if said dude is trying to be your friend he is really trying to hook up but be nice about it. Telling him 'you do not see him that way' means he will probably start sliding towards the asshole/gaming ways of getting chicks.


It is nice being old and married at times. Women can make some good friends but not when single, just not seeing it.


(okay, it might happen occassionally that a single dude wants to make friends with a single woman but I wouldn't wager on it)

(I should add that as one ages this changes, but young dudes, nah, not looking for friends.)