A thread wherein guys rant, complain, and chat about MANLY MAN THINGS page 163

[Saoirse]

i really don't know what "alpha male" is, other than the links. my husband doesn't put me on a pedestal or treat me like a princess, and i wouldn't want him to. i expect him to have some self-respect and treat me with respect. if that's "alpha male", then i'll all for it.

[Blackcatbone]

i really don't know what "alpha male" is, other than the links. my husband doesn't put me on a pedestal or treat me like a princess, and i wouldn't want him to. i expect him to have some self-respect and treat me with respect. if that's "alpha male", then i'll all for it.

I don't like the term "alpha" as it implies dominant or that the person should be leading/head of the pack. Alpha is at the expense of someone else. Being a strong or confident man is great. One doesn't have to dominate in order to do that. And being strong also means being able to admit when you don't have all the answers and maybe someone else is better suited to make a decision.

[Saoirse]

I don't like the term "alpha" as it implies dominant or that the person should be leading/head of the pack. Alpha is at the expense of someone else. Being a strong or confident man is great. One doesn't have to dominate in order to do that. And being strong also means being able to admit when you don't have all the answers and maybe someone else is better suited to make a decision.

+1

[dado]

I think this alpha beta dichotomy is misleading. Our brains want to put people in categories, but a true man is above this.

What is most important and what women appreciate most is an absolute confidence in decisions and actions. It is picking a way and having no doubts about carrying this way to its conclusion. Wrong decision, right decision, it does not matter. It is that you decide and act that is key.

It is not more complicated than this. You can observe the effects of this in the smallest decisions, such as turning the heat down or in the bigger ones, such as picking a house to buy out of two options, for example.

[Rosegin]

What's wrong with crying? Who cares if someone thinks you are gay?

A hell of a lot of men, that's who. I see it all the time. Little boys are told to stop crying, stop being sissies, don't act like a girl (the worst offense ever, apparently). Men don't wear certain things/colors because someone might think they are gay. They don't have close friendships with other men because someone might think they are gay. They don't cry because it shows "weakness".

[New Renaissance]

This is why I wanted to bury the topic of Alpha/Beta. The conversation about treating women with respect doesn't need to die, just the PUA, "gaming" relationships and such.

[New Renaissance]

A hell of a lot of men, that's who. I see it all the time. Little boys are told to stop crying, stop being sissies, don't act like a girl (the worst offense ever, apparently). Men don't wear certain things/colors because someone might think they are gay. They don't have close friendships with other men because someone might think they are gay. They don't cry because it shows "weakness".

I have to disagree with you. Men (and women) need to filter some of the emotion and leave that kind of stuff out of public display. I don't want to say it's weak to cry, but it is a sign of weakness to show weakness.

[Blackcatbone]

I have to disagree with you. Men (and women) need to filter some of the emotion and leave that kind of stuff out of public display. I don't want to say it's weak to cry, but it is a sign of weakness to show weakness.

It depends. If you're talking about something like the death of a loved one, intense pride in something, etc . . . I see no reason to filter it out. On the other hand, tears as manipulation should be filtered out of the public and private.

[Rosegin]

I have been a doormat and not assertive about my own wants. This makes me resentful. Also I tend to be an intervert since I don't always relate to others well. Unless they think like me.

@New Renaissance- This has been one of the best ideas running through this entire thread an you want it to end for some reason. This thread was drying up content and interest wise and this topic gave it a much needed boost.

@Rosegin- I don't think Grok and Grokette would take equal roles, since Grok was physically stronger and faster than Grokette at least upper body wise. He was also wired for hunting and tracking. Grokette probably did help a lot but if she had a child, she would be far better at raising him than the male. Both of there goals was to survive so they would do whatever they were best at, in a complimentary fashion. To me it seems like a lot of women are far better at handling multiple tasks but not as good at single sustained focus on a single task. The male is the reverse, and they can compliment one and other quite well. I could be wrong about this, since I have not seen Grok and Grokkette in action.

You're right, I think we agree on Grok/Grokette. What I meant was that she would have been fiercely protective of the home/children. She would have had to be strong while Grok was away hunting, sometimes for days at a time. She would have provided sources of food, she would have made skins into clothing, etc. I think some are trying to paint a picture where women sat back and did nothing while being "taken care of". My thoughts are that men and women can equally take care of each other.

[Rosegin]

I have to disagree with you. Men (and women) need to filter some of the emotion and leave that kind of stuff out of public display. I don't want to say it's weak to cry, but it is a sign of weakness to show weakness.

But what we're left with is men who don't show ANY emotion but anger, ever. I don't think crying is weakness. I think it's a valid show of emotion just like yelling or laughing.