What to Do with Hubby?
Hubby teases me that I've joined a cult, yet he's also intrigued by seeing the changes in me.
Here's the problem. The man does not like vegetables!! Give him meat and potatoes (or rice or pasta) and he is happy happy! The only vegetables I have ever seen him eat is salad (only with romaine or iceberg, and only with Wishbone Italian dressing), fresh salsa, onions, peppers, spinach, and green beans (but only if canned). He won't even try anything to see if he might perhaps like it! He does like curries, so I can usually sneak some veggies in there. He also likes black beans and considers those a vegetable. A typical day of eating for him goes something like this: No Breakfast or a bowl of Cheerios or Raisin bran with 2% milk and LOTs of sugar, Chicken Sandwich for lunch or a Chipotle Burrito Bowl (with lettuce, tomatoes, blackbeans, chicken and salsa), and whatever I make for dinner (but he will always have rice, potatoes or pasta with it). He only likes lean meat and will always take every bit of fat off. On the weekends, he drinks at least a 2-liter bottle of Dr. Pepper, but during the week drinks only water.
Any suggestions, anyone? The more I learn about nutrition, the more concerned I am for his health. He will be 49 this year, is 5'11" and weighs about 235. He carries his weight well and so far has been healthy (or at least seems to be). He does go on workout binges and diets and will lose 30 pounds or so and then quit and gain it all back. His dieting consists of giving up the Dr. Pepper, and pasta and then eating Tuna Salad on wheat bread, boiled eggs and supplementing with MetRx shakes.
Like I said he is intrigued by PB, but he is put off by all the vegetables. He always frowns at what I am making (and if it's cabbage or brussel sprouts he has to go outside for a while).
My other concern is that I'm feeding him higher fat foods cooked in saturated fat and he's adding the carbs and sugar on top of that, so my diet could be making things worse for him.
How can I get him on board? Anyone else here struggle with a spouse or family member like this?
You can't. I started eating primal in January. I continued to buy bread and cereal for my hubby. He ate what I cooked for supper. I told him about PB and showed him the before and after pics. Suddenly one day he decided to stop with the bread and cereal. He hasn't read the book and he won't. If someone offers him pizza, he will eat it, but at least he's primal here at home. I'm lucky though, he eats mostly everything I cook and likes all kinds of veggies.
Originally Posted by HTownGirl
I eat very few veggies. Usually 1-2 cups a day of spinach, kaiso (seaweed salad), celery and/or carrot sticks.
Really, it's much more important that he eliminates gluten, PUFAs and excess fructose--in the scheme of things they are more essential in reducing inflammation in the body than eating vegetables. And if you eat organ meats and gelatin or bone broth, you can live without veggies just fine.
Here's my world:
My wife is slim and tone. Yet, her eating habits are horrendous.
I am not kidding you. Those who are easily triggered might want to stop reading.
After eating a big meal of pasta, she will go forward and have a dessert of four (4) twinkies.
Her favorite beverage is a large Mocha from Starbucks with... Sigh... 3 extra pumps carmel... 3 extra pumps toffee nut AND 2 extra pumps of vanilia
I tested her blood sugar once after her meal, (she's not diabetic, but I am T2), and she was at 258! (But it was quickly down to normal). Honestly, I was a little disapointed. I thought I may have finally found a hook to get her to some reasonable eating.
To make matters more difficult, she has extreme Cerebral Palsy, unable to control the movements in her arms and legs. (One reason why she is so slim and tone: She is in CONSTANT involuntary movement).
So... Not only do I have to have all of this stuff in the house. But I also have to cook it for her... AND feed it to her.
I've come to the conclusion that there really isn't anything I can do, except perhaps lead by example. Obesity, diebetes, etc... Those are my problems. As much as I would like to encourage her to eat better, I cannot expect her to adopt my solutions to my problems, any more than she can expect me to start tooling around in a wheelchair.
You know, it doesn't really sound like his eating habits are that incompatible with the PB; just that he doesn't like trying new things. That might be an issue of its own, but it doesn't mean he can't eat primally. Maybe you could try shifting him onto eating more primal foods (that he already likes) and work on the new foods later. If he likes lean meat, boiled eggs, salad, onions, peppers, spinach, and canned green beans... that's not bad. I could eat just those foods for a week, easy, and it'd be totally primal! A little rice or potato isn't terrible, either; way better than the pasta.
He clearly knows the Dr. Pepper is bad, and that's honestly probably the worst thing he's putting into his body. That might be a place to start, since he'll at least agree that it's unhealthy. If you can get him to eliminate (or at least drastically cut back on) the soda and eat moderate amounts of rice and potato instead of pasta at dinner... Then I wouldn't sweat the fact that he's not eating lots of different veggies.
If your hubby is eating those amounts of veggies, he's light years ahead of my guy. my guy won't eat... anything green. No onions. No peppers. No salsa. no lettuce. no carrots. he'll eat corn, but corn isn't a veggie now is it? *sigh* and he's got T2 diabetes. And high blood pressure. and yet he'll sit down and eat a whole package of cookies, or two or three ice cream cones.
and then complains when he wakes up with a headache. Um hello. duh.
BUT! here's the thing: you can't change people. You can't force people to change. If they want to change, they need to do it themselves. If your man wants to cut out grains and highly processed foods, great! Keep on hand foods that he likes. If he is not into the roasted brussel sprouts you're making as a side dish to the night's steak, then make sure he's got salad fixings on hand to have a "good" side dish. After that, it's up to him to stop yo-yo dieting and take control of his life. Be supportive, but you can't make those changes for him.
I went PB in March, and although my husband still eats CW, he thinks he's down about 10 lbs just from cutting back on the amount of pasta and noodles we were eating before.
It's too hard to try and change people. They change when they are ready. All you can do is set a good example and never lecture, or they will push back.
Originally Posted by HTownGirl
People around me saw me lose 120 lb and go from a huge, unhealthy wreck to normal and healthy...But I can't say that among my closest friends and family that any of them picked up on any of it, and they still complain about health and weight like they always did.
I don't even try anymore. My husband would honestly rather die (or be wretchedly unhealthy and miserable) than give up sugar. And he eats tons of sugar both in his foods and poured on top of stuff. And breads/chips/tortillas/Ramen noodles, mac & cheese. You can only control your own life and health.
My husband got MAD when I even suggested he look at this guy's before and after pictures that does primal. And you know what I realized? His journey is not mine. He has to find what works for him on his own time. I have had to work on my life my own way and in my own time. We are committed to being with each other along the journey, but it is still our own.