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  1. #1271
    Paleobird's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by smartuko View Post
    You have died from a heart attack 3 times in the last month due to all the butter you consume.
    When three of your dearest friends have died from heart attacks caused by the shock and stress of watching you eat all that butter.

  2. #1272
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    you decide to hare up and eat the local rabbits
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  3. #1273
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    When you get mad at people in traffic and yell things like "Go eat some saturated fat you stupid obese vegan!"

  4. #1274
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    When you notice a bug in your water bottle and hope it doesn't clog the straw when you suck it up.

  5. #1275
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    When you carefully carve the lean meat off the remaining lamb bone for your father before digging into the gristly, sinewy bone yourself. And get sad when you don't have something heavy enough to crack the bones for marrow.
    --
    Perfection is entirely individual. Any philosophy or pursuit that encourages individuality has merit in that it frees people. Any that encourages shackles only has merit in that it shows you how wrong and desperate the human mind can get in its pursuit of truth.

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    I get blunter and more narcissistic by the day.
    I'd apologize, but...

  6. #1276
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    You are off out for your Sunday morning sprint session when you spy, lying unloved, on the pavement, a piece of bacon. You seriously consider eating it, but decide you would rather do your sprints fasted. You regret this decision and decide to get the bacon on your way back home. The bacon is gone by then and you cry.

    Mostly a true story (I didn't cry I'm not a little girl )
    You know all those pictures of Adam and Eve where they have belly button? Think about it..................... take as long as you need........................

  7. #1277
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    o m g too funny
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  8. #1278
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    ykyp when you see a field mouse in the bird seed and think, i will give you a head start, but the feral cat is going to eat you and begin to laugh like a madman.

    then let him out in the garden and wish him luck
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  9. #1279
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    When you check the ingredients on the tubs of ice cream for grains and pick one that has no grain products (OK so I fell off the wagon with the ice cream, BUT I AVOIDED GRAINS!!!).

  10. #1280
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    When your kids complain you eat steak too many times a week! 5 nights a week is not too many!

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