I had to double-take your post to make sure I wasn't responding to something I had posted myself a few weeks ago, LOL!
I have the same issues. You can take a look at my journal and see what I have been going through; I won't repost it all here. Paleobird has some good insight into why she thinks peri-women may need to be more calorie-conscious than men or younger women, and I tend to agree. As soon as I figured out my BMR, cut down calories to around 1500, and got my protein/fat/carbs back into balance, I started to lose weight. For me (my N=1 experiment), I have to take all that into account. I can't just "throw out the scale," or "eat till you are full," or any of that free-form stuff. Something is going on here that is different for my nearly-50-year-old body that doesn't apply.
Here's a good post by Dr. Michael Eades on carbs, calories, and weight loss that helped put it into perspective for me: The Blog of Michael R. Eades, M.D. » Low-carb and calories
And here's a good calculator that was recently shared on another Forum thread that got me back on track to losing weight (I hope): BMR Calculator
For what it's worth, your eating habits look fantastic, but you may have to cut calories and increase your workouts. Obviously something has got to give for you to jumpstart your weightloss.
Hang in there. I'm sure this will work for you, it's just a matter of fine-tuning!
Everything I eat has been proved by some doctor or other to be a deadly poison, and everything I don't eat has been proved to be indispensable for life. But I go marching on. ~George Bernard Shaw
Starting Weight (1/3/2011): 189
Current Weight: 173
Goal: To be in the best shape ever by age 50! (5/11/2012)