Baby Steps (Coyote's Journal) page

[CoyoteVick]

So I've been grain free now since Friday night. Not bad, and I have noticed quite a few changes. First, I no longer go into a gallbladder attack at the thought of pork. I have eaten bacon, ham, prosciutto, and pepperoni all without having any gallbladder pain. I'm not sure how that works with grain free, but there ya go.

Also, no heartburn since Saturday morning. Which is weird, because I haven't had a day without heartburn in, oh I don't know... 6 years...

No constipation! I've been going like clockwork, and easily. Before, with a "high fiber" diet, it felt like pushing out sandpaper, now it's just over and done with, no bleeding or straining.

I've lost two pounds. Not a lot for me, since I'm used to going "ok, I'm going to lose weight" and then eating barely enough calories to keep from fainting until I had lost enough pounds, and then what do you know, putting it all back on again :/ So I'm trying really hard to be OK with slow and steady.

I have not been tempted at all to eat grains, and while I have been watching my "sugar" intake, I started tracking my food at FitDay again (and looking only at carbs, not looking at the calorie count BECAUSE I'M NOT WATCHING THAT ANYMORE!!!!) and noticed that my carbs were still way to high. I'm in the 100 gram ranger daily, and that's too high for me to really lose the weight I need to. So I need to figure out a way to eat more veggies without resorting to blending them into a smoothie and covering them up with the taste of berries and bananas.

I'm trying really hard to like veggies. Really, really hard. I know that my palette is just not used to flavor after having eaten bland grains for so many years. But it's a tough transition. I'm trying though. I figure sooner or later my tongue will adapt and accept that grains are not coming back, and it will have to deal with veggies. In the meantime, I'm trying to figure out a way to make the veggie taste go away in smoothies without resorting to carb filled fruit. I ate almost 100 grams of carbs in FRUIT yesterday. That's a little excessive.

A little about my background, I am a former anorexic, bulimic, and everything in between. I got up to my heaviest in June of 2010 at around 250 pounds, went on a crash diet (well, let's be honest, short term anorexia...) and lost 50 pounds in 3 months by not really eating ANYTHING and walking 10 miles a day. Needless to say that was not sustainable, and once I started eating again, I gained 20 pounds of it back. I started gaining weight really around the age of 15, when I became depressed, and anorexic. I lost a bunch of weight, then was put on anti-depressants that really jacked me up and made me gain almost 100 pounds in the course of pretty much a summer. :/ Been trying to get that off ever since...

So I suppose I should get to raw numbers (and realize that right now I'm very heavy, and very out of shape. I'm trying, but this is going to be a long road...):

Age: 24 (for a month more anyway...)
Height: 5'8"
Highest Weight: 250 pounds
Current Weight: 219.2 pounds
Lowest weight (at current height): 125
Goal weight: between 140 and 160, depending on muscle mass

Able to do:
Crunches: 0
Pushups (girly) 10
Squats: 20
Walking: pretty much forever, walking is NOT an issue
Running/Jogging: ha. You're funny. Maybe... 15 seconds? Maybe.
Pullups: 0

I have taken "before" pics, but I'm not going to post them until I have "after" pics to go with. Also, I think seeing those pics might make people go blind...

So, baby steps. A little at a time. Hoping to see long term, slow but steady, real results. Hoping to finally kick this for good.

[CoyoteVick]

It is so hard to keep myself from jumping on the scale forty times a day. I'm used to seeing myself go down POUNDS in a day, not ounces... but I have to keep in mind that this is sustainable. Not going for insta-pound loss, going for slow, steady fat loss and muscle gain. Going for a healthy body. Must keep that in mind. Must not succumb to urge to keep jumping on scale...

[pattyd]

Just keep on keepin on!! You can get healthy;keep your eye on the prize of a long happy life

[spakesneaker]

A great way to make veggies tasty is cover them in salt and olive oil or butter (or other spices, garlic powder, etc.) and roast in an oven at 350 degrees for 30-45 min. I think cooked veggies are BY FAR superior to raw vegetables.

I totally understand the urge to jump on the scale multiple times a day. But remember that the scale can LIE, lol, and that you may be undergoing changes in body composition that won't be reflected on the scale. Not to mention the feeling better in general thing.

[CoyoteVick]

I'm trying different veggies cooked and not cooked. For example, I can not handle peas cooked at all, even the slightest. Although now I'm hearing peas are bad for me/not primal :/ Spinach also must be raw for me to eat, and normally covered in ranch dressing, but now that I'm cutting out veg oil that's right out. :/ carrots are also a "raw veggie". But zucchini and peppers MUST be cooked.

Bah. Here's what I ate today:

Coffee (1 Large mug full)

Sugar (6 teaspoons, working on cutting that down, but I SO wanted coffee, and I SO can not deal with it without sugar...)

Milk, whole (2/3 cup)

Cocoa powder (mixed in the milk to make choc. coffee)

For dinner I had a "meatzza" with ground beef as the "crust" (probably 1/4 pound-ish) and pepperoni, bacon, peppers, onions, and zucchini as toppings, with moz cheese and parm cheese.

For dessert I had a carrot.

Total breakdown for the day:

Fat: 84.3 g (55%)
Protein: 99.6 g (30%)
Carbs: 59.2 g (16%)

Activities for the day: went on a mile walk with the hubby, did pushups/planks/squats/curls throughout the day, totaling maybe 20 min. Did 15 min of hula hooping.

Still wanting to get my carb intake lower, but dying to have my smoothies again. Gr. Maybe if I have a low carb/low activity day, and then a smoothie/high activity day. Or something. I don't know. :/ I don't know. I think learning to like veggies is going to be my stumbling block because until I can do that, I'm stuck eating meat or high sugar fruits. Sigh. I'm just going to keep trying.

[pattyd]

Activities for the day: went on a mile walk with the hubby, did pushups/planks/squats/curls throughout the day, totaling maybe 20 min. Did 15 min of hula hooping.
Still wanting to get my carb intake lower, but dying to have my smoothies again. Gr. Maybe if I have a low carb/low activity day, and then a smoothie/high activity day. Or something. I don't know. :/ I don't know. I think learning to like veggies is going to be my stumbling block because until I can do that, I'm stuck eating meat or high sugar fruits. Sigh. I'm just going to keep trying.

Great activities. The hula hooping is awesome! You`ll get the carb thing down...just takes some experiments and time and patience

[CoyoteVick]

I'm trying really, really hard to not over do it with the exercise. My arms are a little stiff and sore, and I'm trying to remember the "rest" portion of this whole shebang. Doing way more than I am capable of, burning out, and then eating Ben and Jerry's and oatmeal cookies for three months is not what I want to do this time! Slowly!

But I really want to do pushups! I have a goal of being able to do 1 full, real, honest to god pushup by my birthday (April 23) I have no idea if that is possible without killing myself, but I'm determined. I just need to not get hurt while trying to do that...

I had a smoothie this morning, and only added in the blueberries, no bananas, no mango, no juice. A little splash of full fat milk to get the veggies wizzed up, and that's it. It wasn't sweet, but it did cover up the taste of the veggies enough for it to be drinkable. *sigh* See kids, this is what happens when you aren't forced to learn to like veggies as a kid. You have to force yourself to like them later.

[CoyoteVick]

Today's carb wasn't as good as yesterday's. I was doing good until dinner, then I had a small container of fries. BUT! still managed to be under 100 grams!

Today:

Breakfast: 1 1/2 egg w/ sausage, onion and pepper and a smoothie with only blueberries, no other fruit!

Dinner: BK triple stacker with no bun, small order of fries.

I know dinner wasn't very good for me, but it was tasty, and I totally ate it with no regret. And believe me, I scarfed it.

Which leaves today's totals at:

Fat: 95.4 grams (56%)
Protein: 84.4 grams (23%)
Carbs: 82.7 grams (21%)

Today's activities were walking 1 mile with the hubby, some slight stretching earlier, and a few wall pushups and a few planks. I can do a forearm plank now! On my toes and everything! For like, 7 seconds... but still! it's something!

[CoyoteVick]

I don't care how badass you are, I don't care how many reps you do, or lbs you lift, I don't care if you bungee jump into tanks full of sharks, or ride wild grizzlies bareback for sport, nothing is more dangerous or badass than standing on one leg, naked, on a wet, slick, soapy surface, while blind due to lack of glasses, running a razorblade across your skin (except for pushing another human out of your body. That is more badass.)

Talk about endorphin rush! God women are badass creatures. The stuff we do on a normal basis is so cool and dangerous!

[CoyoteVick]

So today's eating was pretty good. I found an ice cream that has only five ingredients, none of which are grain based. It has sugar, but I'm ok with that in small doses. So, I had some of that as my after meal treat. I still kept my carbs about 50, so that's not bad. I did find that after eating a small bit of ice cream I was mad with a sugar craving, so I will have to keep that under control. Probably only going to have that maybe once a week.

No breakfast, three deviled eggs for lunch, a chicken thigh and leg for late afternoon snack, and two small steaks with mashed cauliflower for dinner.

FAT: 183 grams (73%)
Protein: 99.4 grams (18%)
Carbs: 51.2 grams (95)

Didn't do much in the way of activity today. I was supposed to go to the gym, but the person I was going to go with flaked out on me, and as it's her gym, I couldn't go by myself. I might do some LHT later on tonight, or I might just have a full rest day. We'll see how I feel. Anyway, not too bad, but I do think the refined sugar just makes me crave sugar more. It's like a heroin addict only having a little heroin. I fear it will lead to binges. *sigh* but at the same time I don't want to get all super restrictive, because that path leads only to madness, restrictive eating patterns, massive fasting, and ultimately, the return of an ED I've been trying to avoid. So, we'll have to tread carefully.