Primal Journal - Patrick (who has a filthy pirate hooker mouth) page 5

[Coconut Girl]

I guess MDA decided the pictures I uploaded to an album were not a threat to national security and allowed them to come out of moderated status.

Album

love it!

Morning thoughts: Ugh. What the flying fuckballs is up with my sleep? I go to sleep around 9:30 - 10:15, can't actually fall asleep until 11:30, wake up around 2:30 - 3:30 (fully fucking "let's do dis" awake), pass out again after X amount of time, and wake up late (8am is late for me). This is pissing me off. I think I need to stay away from monitors/TVs for a good hour or so before going to bed and maybe do some reading instead. I might be getting messed around with by the blue light. Could be stress, too, I suppose, though the only source of stress is absence of sex.

Hmmm. . . . Now that I actually think seriously about it, that might be exactly what it is. If so, fuck you, ravenous man-biology!

try meditation--i almost always meditate (or at least i try to!) before going to bed... if i didn't have crystals on my body it'd be much easier to simply pass out... and, erm... i'm not a dude, but i understand. o_O lol

...I have a low threshold for bullshit and zero tolerance for manipulation -- I should say "attempted manipulation," since most people's attempts are really fucking laughably transparent.

same. same. same. i often have friends laugh at me after my straightforward honesty comes out with random people at various moments they laugh and with deer-in-headlight-eyes say, "holy shit i can't believe you just said that!"... i'm not mean though, really! i've been told that i carry a lot of intense energy... which is probably why i scare off most men. :| *skips away* oh... fucking... well! lol

[Patrick]

try meditation--i almost always meditate (or at least i try to!) before going to bed...

Good idea! I used to meditate (or at least mentally relax -- not sure it was meditation) and I haven't in a while. Think I'll also read a few passages from Peace Is Every Step before bed, too. I love Thich Nhat Hanh's writing.

same. same. same. i often have friends laugh at me after my straightforward honesty comes out with random people at various moments they laugh and with deer-in-headlight-eyes say, "holy shit i can't believe you just said that!"... i'm not mean though, really! i've been told that i carry a lot of intense energy... which is probably why i scare off most men. :| *skips away* oh... fucking... well! lol

Hahaha! Nice. Yeah, I'm the same way in terms of what and how I say things, but I'm not mean about it. I just want people to know where I stand. I hate emotional uncertainty, so my rule is that people around me never have to worry about how I feel about them or whatnot. Of course, I'm usually still left in the dark as to where others stand. . . .

Women seem to hate honesty of that kind because it doesn't fit into their weird view of how men are supposed to be, I guess; it doesn't give them anything to create drama around. While that's a gross generalization, it's been spot-on for me, anecdotally, over the past few months of me attempting to date (and growing more and more fucking bored). I'm sure guys are the same way for no-nonsense women who know what they want! I just find that the older people get, the more they emotionally regress. I swear most women I date treat dating and their dates like it was a Grade 7 dance in the fucking school gym.

On my more aggressive/cynical days, I consider having a shirt made that simply says "Seriously: Wanna Fuck?" That's not what I'm all about, to be honest, but some days I think I should be; perhaps things would be a lot simpler. Of course, they could be a great deal worse, as well.

. . . .Then I think about just adopting another cat, but it would be a rebound cat. I'm still not totally over having had to put down my awesome, old, little Pele-monster last spring. I miss my stealth kitty.

[Coconut Girl]

i never could understand why people don't just speak clearly, concisely and HONESTLY... heaven forbid the simplicity of life be so... SIMPLE. people (ESPECIALLY women--for the most part, i too am not trying to generalize but let's be honest here LOL) enjoy drama... they enjoy creating this big, bizarre production--as if LIFE itself isn't enough!

also, re: your T-shirt idea... i get it--it's kind of like weeding through the BS. many girls (as opposed to 'real women') out here in L.A. are notorious for being, well, for lack of a better word, c*ck-teases, frankly. it's like, really??? then when the guy reciprocates to their 'teasing' they freak out and call the guy a jerk or something!... or, you know, they're just hookers. LOL

unfortunately the ever prevalent societal conditioning of totally ridiculous and unreal male/female roles cyclically perpetuates increasing numbers of social retardation on a daily basis. geez, did any of that make ANY sense??? you're intelligent, i'm sure you know wtf i'm saying... (did i just mention clear, concise... something or other? lol)

also, i'm so sorry about your loss. it's never easy, having to let go of loved ones... especially those who provide truly unconditional love. xx

[Patrick]

Ultimately, it all comes down to Sturgeon's Law: "90% of everything is crap." Sadly, that includes people. Bah. It's not worth thinking about too much, but damn fun to rant about, eh, especially on a Friday!

Thanks for the kind words about my cat. She's not a recent loss, though I still swear to fucking god there are some nights when I think I feel her hopping up on the bed to steal my body heat and purr like the arrhythmic rusty ol' engine she was.

Okay, time to go make some ground beef with sweet potato and something or other I can dig up.

[Patrick]

Hot damn. I just discovered simodalcais' food album! I have his permission to link it here, so check it out and prepare to feel a warm and very pleasant tingling sensation in your special area:

Simodalcais' Food Porn -- Hard-on Motherfuckin' Guaranteed

[geostump]

Your cat was beautiful. Much love for calicos.

also, re: your T-shirt idea... i get it--it's kind of like weeding through the BS. many girls (as opposed to 'real women') out here in L.A. are notorious for being, well, for lack of a better word, c*ck-teases, frankly. it's like, really??? then when the guy reciprocates to their 'teasing' they freak out and call the guy a jerk or something!... or, you know, they're just hookers. LOL

This is why I am glad that I am married. If I were thrown into the dating scene again, I think I would go postal.

[Patrick]

Thanks, Georgette!


Okay, fuck this goddamn chest thing. Bronchitis, maybe. I used to get it chronically, every year like clockwork, back in high-school and university. I'm done with it now. It can fucking take a break. I get the point and I yield.

Made rouladen from some minute steak last night. I kinda did it wrong in that 1) I didn't pound the steaks thin enough, and 2) didn't brown them properly in butter. They came out pretty well, though. I mean, they were minute steaks. Not much to fucking do with them other than use them as a chew-toy.

I'm noticing some loss of definition in and around my jawline. I'm thinking my reduction (accidental) in vegetables is partly responsible for increase in fat, since I'm up around 65% fat and 30% protein these days. A bit too high on both counts, most likely. I need to bring BASs back into my meal rotations, I think.

Or it's just me being neurotic. I'm leaning out everywhere else, so. . . . yeah, who fucking knows. Still, I'm probably eating too much protein (~250-400g per day). Need to apply a bit more temperance there.

[Coconut Girl]

Okay, fuck this goddamn chest thing. Bronchitis, maybe. I used to get it chronically, every year like clockwork, back in high-school and university. I'm done with it now. It can fucking take a break. I get the point and I yield...

I'm noticing some loss of definition in and around my jawline. I'm thinking my reduction (accidental) in vegetables is partly responsible for increase in fat, since I'm up around 65% fat and 30% protein these days. A bit too high on both counts, most likely. I need to bring BASs back into my meal rotations, I think.

chronic illnesses suck--i used to get laryngitis in October for 3-4 years at one point (high school-college)... it was GREAT when i had Spanish class though! prof couldn't call on me randomly! lol i hope you feel better soon...

i need to get more creative with my salads again--i used to make some really great ones... but since i'm trying to reduce body fat (and since i simply can't think of what to include anymore other than the usual) i know i don't want to put nuts, etc in it (as i'd rather reserve nuts for snack if i'm going to eat them)... hmm.... maybe i'll start doing nicoise or something... suggestions? also, i'm wanting to rip into a bloody steak something fierce right now... damned it! knew i should've bought some -_-

[Patrick]

I'm a terrible person to ask about food. My stuff is dead fucking simple. I have no plan; rather, I just grab the foods I want to consume and mix 'em up like some sort of demented alchemist. What's nicoise, if I may ask?

For salads, I used to just grab a handful of the greens from a container of organic field greens, toss 'em in a bowl, add onions, mushrooms, avocado, peppers, some sunflower seeds, kalamata olives (if I have 'em), a hardboiled egg and some bacon bits. Add olive oil/balsamic vinegar salad dressing and voila. These days, though, I usually just take a handful of greens, toss ground beef in and top it with some salsa. I didn't think I could simplify simple, but apparently I can.

Thanks for the healthy well-wishes! I know exactly who/where I got this chest thing from, too, and it's source/cause is an added piss-off.

[Coconut Girl]

Niçoise salad - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (sans the potatoes, of course!)

yeah, i think i'm just over-thinking it... i used to do the same... just grab shit, toss it in and chomp away... i seriously can't believe that i'm hungry right now... it's 5:17am! wtf?! i noticed i sometimes get hungry between 3am and 6am (if i'm awake, of course) but fuck that, i'm not going to eat right now...

*does hoodoo on said source of chest crap* bastard.

i need a fucking steak and a Guiness right now... ugh...... lol