I'm with Geo, my Sis-ta (again, another example of what we have in common-Geo!).
I think the personal dynamics of every relationship differ tremendously. There is no...one size fits all...approach that works for every couple. Some couples get along well and dont fight. Some couples argue but the arguing serves its purpose and they "know" each other better from it. Some couples have conflict and dont deal with it in a constructive manner. And others, well, let's see...there is lying, cheating, disrespecting, deception, belittling, etc and the list goes on and on. You name the word...there's a couple that is doing that to each other.This is why world wide divorce rates (in westernized countries) hover at or greater than 50% today. Our society today says..."you" dont have to put up with anything you dont like anymore. And many people dont. They choose to live on their own rather than subject themselves to a poor relationship. And I cant say I blame them. If that had been my experience with relationships....I would be right there with them.
But in addition to the negative experiences relationships deliver....there are some extremely positive experiences delivered as well. And these "positives" may be fewer in number than the negatives....but they are MUCH greater in terms of impact on a person's life. In fact, they are addictive. You get a few of them with a partner...and it TRULY strengthens your relationship such that you can put up with some of the petty bull shit that used to drive you insane about your partner. You have a new respect for them and they for you. You are able to look beyond the petty failings and bad habits to see the good person you love. You two share experiences...and thus, you "build a life" together. I know it sounds gay and cliche (and the single folks out there are probably laughing their ass off at me!). But its true. You make a life together built on trust and mutual respect. You apologize for your shortcomings....because EVERYONE has them. You have them, she has them. She has them, he has them. Etc. And if a couple is going to make a relationship work...they are going to have to take the good with the bad. There is no one or the other. They come as a package deal. The couples that have it the best though are the one's who figure out how to make their relationship stronger from the bad. The good is great and it is the cement that "binds" a relationship. But the bad is impetus for change that makes the relationship grow and change. A good couple grows and changes in their relationship together.
One other thing I think I have learned that is EXTREMELY important...at least to me and my relationships...you need to be friends. Its all fine and dandy being lovers and what not. And that has its place. But when the romance diminishes over time...you are left with the friend you fell in love with in the first place. If you weren't friends first....you'll have nothing at that point.
I've seen that in my 1st failed marriage. Other than my two oldest daughters...my ex-wife and I have nothing in common. I cant even remember why I fell in love with her in the first place nowadays.
My wife now is my best friend in the world. I can and do tell her anything.
(Except how to get her to go Primal... DAMMIT! Head strong woman!)
If you can just get your....mind together....then come on across to me.....
James Marshall (Jimi)Hendrix