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  1. #1
    Dutchie's Avatar
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    Please help me out?!

    Hello,

    Could you maybe please help me out of my hell?
    My story in short; I'm a Dutch girl/woman (28) who's been overweight from childhood.I've played some teamsports during highschool,mostly one or 2 times per week. When I was 19 I all of a sudden suffered symptoms of paralysion which the docs thought to be a mild form of MS(which now turned out to be Lyme's disease),over time the symptoms faded. During that period and years after I gained even more weight while living my life,so a couple of years ago I decided to enroll in a gym and start Cardio 3x times a week to lose weight,because I never loved myself/thought of myself as pretty or a special person. After hitting a 'plateau' I became even more critical of what I ate and increased the exercises,until it dwindled into this obsessive-compulsive 5/6days a week thing,that I never enjoyed but out of fear of getting 'fat'(it really was bellyfat,the rest was slender.Which gave me an even worse figure) again. Things escalated and I ended up at a dietician,who 'tought me' how much carbs&proteine,little fat a day I needed for the body to burn it's own fat without having to exercise. I lost weight,but I started to experience these weird symptoms also after eating,like bloating/tiredness/blurry-vision/feeling like I'd pass out. Turned out my Lyme kicked in,very bad gut flora,acidic pancreas and almost diabetic.
    Now I'm on Paleo and underweight,I've lost my boobs and you can count my ribs,so I need to gain some weight.

    This makes me very nervous,I've lived my life on the low-fat products and with the vigorous exercise which I've never enjoyed and can't do anymore bc I feel such resistance towards it and my knees sometimes hurt like hell. Although I rationally know the low-fat products were bad,I still experience a lot of obsessive mental issues&anxieties towards the amounts of fat that I'll get huge (fat stomach) on Paleo without exercising,mainly bc I don't experience 'belly hunger' (growling stomach) bc of the bad gut flora,so I never know when I'm hungry. I try to walk 45min. to an hour everyday,but still I'm afraid to sit still and do what I love.
    All these Paleo-people talking about the low-carb,fruits bad,IF,CF,The Paleo-lifestyle etc. made my anxiety even worse....I'm now scared of amounts of fat,fruits and certain veggies (like beets,carrots,pumpkin...let alone sweet potatoe!),coconut milk and dairy (though I love sheep's and goat cheese,which are high in fat too,which scares me).
    I'm caught in such a horrible thinking pattern (reading the Power of Now. Isn't helping me (yet)),in my mind I'm always calculating everything. Most people start to feel not only physically,but also mentally better on Paleo,whereas I seem to get in an even bigger depression.
    Most of the time I just don't know what to eat anymore it's all too big of a hassle,out of lethargy and boredom/lack of recipes/ingedients due to intolerances(like nightshades) and I'm starting to really miss all the 'bad' stuff like pizza,wafels,cake,breads etc.,bc if I'm in my mind getting fat anyway who cares what it is from....might as well have the temporary false illusion of joy my brains crave so much.and feel like a 'normal' part of society again. Apart from beef and eggs,grass-fed is impossible for me to get,though I buy biological meat&veggies...it's also very expensive and I'm struggling to pay the bills every month bc I'm currently not able to work.

    I'm going to seek the help of a therapist (but I don't want antidepressants,although my family is trying to force me to take some) bc I don't want to be stuck in this thinking pattern anymore. If I'm ever gonna be able to exercise again (I now 'like' to exercise out of fear to get fat and bc it's the Paleo-way.I find,the body obsession and judgement in the Paleo-world is even more worse.) I do not want it to be connected to estatic image anymore or obsessive compulsiveness/fear,but bc I WANt TO/Love doing it. (Probably gonna be a teamsport,though it's kinda daunting to enter a team(sport) at this age).
    Once in a while (in the far future,when my gut is more healed and my issue's under control) I'd like to once in a while be able to indulge in stuff,without feeling guilty or getting bad thoughts,anxieties or whatever. I just wanna be happy&healthy and get over the fear of living my life/sitting too much vs compulsive movements,without ever in my mind thinking about foodintake vs. amounts of movement on a day) and letting myself do and enjoy what I want to do (paint,animate,learn to make music with or without the computer.I'd love to be able to become a tattoo artist,but it requires a lot of drawing exercises,meaning lots of sitting still). The fat is probably prone to go to my belly,instead of my upper body(where it needs to go),bc my own 'mental anxiety' is probably keeping cortisol levels high.

    Can you maybe help me get out of this pattern/ease my mind a bit?or know people who: who don't exercise either/constantly walking/active during the day?who have health conditions too or maybe experienced something similar?

  2. #2
    HillsideGina's Avatar
    HillsideGina is offline Senior Member
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    Wow, you have a very busy mind - I mean your mind is full of chatter, and this is going to be your first challenge - to calm down.

    Stop thinking of your life and the changes you want to make as this HUGE mountain to climb. That's what you are doing now, and that is probably going to end up with you making yourself more anxious. STOP. Stop thinking so much.

    Do one change at a time, don't try to do everything at once. Don't try to climb the mountain.

    I suggest taking up yoga or tai chi along with meditation daily to relax your mind and body. Do this for a few months diligently, disregarding everything else.

  3. #3
    DianeThePurple's Avatar
    DianeThePurple is offline Senior Member
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    Welcome.

    Please read the success stories on this site. There are a lot of people from very different backgrounds, who have overcome some amazing obstacles to become healthy and fit. If they can do this, you can do this.

    I agree with Gina, tai chi seems like it would be very useful. The movements are very calming and meditative, and just about anyone can do it.

    Best of luck to you. Please let us know how it goes.

  4. #4
    sanepsycho's Avatar
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    I am going to try to respond to some of the things I think you are having issues with, hope I am reading your concerns correctly.

    1. Is the bad gut flora still an issue? You should look into taking a probiotic supplement.

    2. Have you read the Primal Fitness information? You don't have to do vigorous exercises. If you are looking to increase mass perhaps you should look into doing some strength training along with your walking.

    3. The concerns about dairy/starchy vegies/fruits - these items are allowed in moderation with the primal lifestyle. There are some people here who do not eat them, either because of intolerances or because they feel they are hindering weight loss. Since you are not trying to lose, these items should not be an issue with you. In fact, I have lost weight and I eat dairy every day, regular and sweet potatoes a few times a week, and fruit almost daily. I also use coconut milk a few times a week.

    4. While grassfed, etc. is the best, there are many (including myself) for whom it is either not locally available or affordable. If you use conventional animal proteins, go for leaner cuts and add good fats (coconut oil, bacon grease, butter), and use an omega-3 fish oil supplement.

    5. The forums are a GREAT source of info, but can also be overwhelming and confusing, especially if you are new to Primal. The longer people are on Primal it seems they find what works for them (dairy vs. no dairy, very low carb vs. moderate carb), and so they answer questions based on that. So there is no need to fear dairy unless it causes you a problem, for example. For every person who can't do well on dairy there is one who does!

    To keep it simple and no so overwhelming, aim for a few things: no grains, no legumes, no sugar, move slowly daily (not all day long, you can sit and work on your drawings, many people here have jobs requiring them to sit alot!), lift heavy things 2-3 days/week, sprint or other high intensity work out once a week (if your knees can tolerate, if not don't worry about it for now). I probably left something out but if you can wrap your head around those things and stop worry about the others you are off to a great Primal start.
    Last edited by sanepsycho; 03-15-2011 at 09:35 PM.

  5. #5
    Hedonist's Avatar
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    Not much to add except welcome and *hugs*
    Ancestral Health Info

    I design websites and blogs for a living. If you would like a blog or website designed by someone who understands Primal, see my web page.

    Primal Blueprint Explorer My blog for people who are not into the Grok thing. Since starting the blog, I have moved close to being Archevore instead of Primal. But Mark's Daily Apple is still the best source of information about living an ancestral lifestyle.

  6. #6
    Blackcatbone's Avatar
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    I wish I could offer you some Dutch-centric advice, I lived in Nederland for 10 years, but I only started getting into Paleo eating about the last six months. I found it incredibly difficult there, Nederlanders take a different approach to health issues. I about had to beat my doctor over the head to get her to run basic blood tests, and it wasn't until I'd been having ongoing issues for years that she finally agreed.

    If you're near the Ede/Arnhem area I can give you some local advice. Also, are you at all close to the German border and do you drive or is there someone who would be willing to make a trip with you once a month or so? A lot of food is less expensive there. Supermarkets like Kaufland sell wild game, ostrich and things like almond meal much cheaper than you can get in NL.

    You mention sheep's milk. Were you drinking it raw? When I lived there I was buying it from a farmer that I met at the markt. It wasn't legal but she sold it to me unofficially. If you're anywhere near any of the markten where they have a stand you can ask them and they may agree. De Kooihoek, melkschapenbedrijf

    One thing that I miss about Nederland is that you can step outside your house and just walk. This helped me a lot, especially with anxiety issues. If you have an MP3 player this helps too. I have ADHD so my brain starts spinning out of control sometimes. I would "take my brain for a jog" while I walked almost every day and it helped calm me.

  7. #7
    Griff's Avatar
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    First: SLOW THE HELL DOWN. You are running in a thousand different directions at once.

    Second: BREATHE. Slowly. You are freaking out.

    Third: Read the advice you've been given here, read the forums, and learn. Information will help with the anxiety you are expressing here.
    Primal eating in a nutshell: If you are hungry, eat Primal food until you are satisfied (not stuffed). Then stop. Wait until you're hungry again. Repeat.

    Looking for my Cholesterol Primer? Here it is: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...mer-(Attempt-2)


    Ditch the scale!: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread33283.html

    My Success Story: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread30615.html

  8. #8
    Dutchie's Avatar
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    Thank you all for your replies. I know taming my mind is the biggest obstacle,or more learning to love myself no matter what size or weight. I'm just concerned that I'll keep on gaining once past a certain point. I got this ebook (by download...shh!) of the Gabriel Method,haven't read it but it's supposed to be about leaving your food issues behind,living life and programming your body that it wants to be thin. (In my mind probably programming,no shutting down my mind,once and for all). I know rationally a person's usually attractive by their personality and level of confidence...the last one I've always lacked majorly bc of my low-selfesteem.

    1. Is the bad gut flora still an issue? You should look into taking a probiotic supplement.
    Yes,I already take probiotics along with many other supplements. I've noticed that a lot of my bad thoughts&anxiety also relate to bad digestion,maybe malnourishment,which keeps me in this vicious cycle.

    The concerns about dairy/starchy vegies/fruits - these items are allowed in moderation with the primal lifestyle. There are some people here who do not eat them, either because of intolerances or because they feel they are hindering weight loss. Since you are not trying to lose, these items should not be an issue with you. In fact, I have lost weight and I eat dairy every day, regular and sweet potatoes a few times a week, and fruit almost daily. I also use coconut milk a few times a week.
    You probably work out or are very active?
    I must look into Primal instead of Paleo...is there an exact difference?

    4. While grassfed, etc. is the best, there are many (including myself) for whom it is either not locally available or affordable. If you use conventional animal proteins, go for leaner cuts and add good fats (coconut oil, bacon grease, butter), and use an omega-3 fish oil supplement.

    I do already. I can only use coconut oil,bc I don't seem to respond well on butter. I 'discovered' this Turkish supermarket near my home,which sells lamb pretty cheap compared to supermarkets. Does anyone know if lamb is usually being grass-fed?

    5. The forums are a GREAT source of info, but can also be overwhelming and confusing, especially if you are new to Primal. The longer people are on Primal it seems they find what works for them (dairy vs. no dairy, very low carb vs. moderate carb), and so they answer questions based on that. So there is no need to fear dairy unless it causes you a problem, for example. For every person who can't do well on dairy there is one who does!

    To keep it simple and no so overwhelming, aim for a few things: no grains, no legumes, no sugar, move slowly daily (not all day long, you can sit and work on your drawings, many people here have jobs requiring them to sit alot!), lift heavy things 2-3 days/week, sprint or other high intensity work out once a week (if your knees can tolerate, if not don't worry about it for now). I probably left something out but if you can wrap your head around those things and stop worry about the others you are off to a great Primal start.

    That's the problem,I've read so many things on various forums,that made me even more scared!
    I can't do the whole primal exercise-lifestyle,that's what me also makes so anxious,although if I could I'd still be doing it for the wrong reasons.

    BlackcatBone, I do not live near Arnhem...I live way down south,indeed close to the German border (near Aachen and the Belgian border) so thank you very much for the advice of Kaufland!
    Did I say sheep's milk? I meant sheep's cheese....though I probably should use it in moderation,which is hard since I love cheese so much and left it out of my eating-habits for so long.

    Does anyone know if sheep's (& goat's) cheese contain casseine?and if this casseine is also damaging as cow's casseine? or if there are sheep/goat's cheeses without casseine?

  9. #9
    Hedonist's Avatar
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    At least in the US, lamb is grass fed. I imagine that's true in Europe but I don't know.

    The basic primal lifestyle is not overwhelming. Read Mark's post about the 80/20 principle.
    Ancestral Health Info

    I design websites and blogs for a living. If you would like a blog or website designed by someone who understands Primal, see my web page.

    Primal Blueprint Explorer My blog for people who are not into the Grok thing. Since starting the blog, I have moved close to being Archevore instead of Primal. But Mark's Daily Apple is still the best source of information about living an ancestral lifestyle.

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